Digimon Adventure Abridged.exe: Difference between revisions

 

Prologue

One day in 2018 two older men were in one of their house. No this isn't yaoi. Their names were T.K. and Joe, ages forty two and forty six respectively. They were talking about their camping story.

"Oh my god I don't want to talk about it though because it was all dark and gothic." T.K. whined like a preppy bitch. Joe took his glasses off all sexily.

"Baby... I mean T.K., stop being a fucking pervert and fantasizing over Sora's daughter." Joe said and T.K. got a confused look on his face.

"So you want me to fantasize over Sora? Like when we knew her?"

"Ew no that would mean that you were fantasizing over a fifteen year old." Joe refused and T.K. pounded his head against the wall.

"Jesus christ. Can we stop talking about what I fantasize over and do something productive?" T.K. found a empty notebook and started to write. "How about we write of our adventures at the digital world?"

"Fine sure. Just don't make me call 911 on you over liking middle school girls." Joe agreed and promised that was the last pervert joke he would make.

First Arc:

 

Ken woke up and found a paper. "Sam died lol."

"Fuck." Ken said and then the swear counter went to explosion. Wow and he wasn't even eighteen yet.

Ken walks to Susan's house and cries. "I fucking love you." Ken declared and they got naked and had wild sex. They forgot protection so she got pregnant.

The next morning Ken walks to home but then sees a man in a purple jacket. "Time to go to my world." He said in inserted a evil in his brain and threw him in a vortex.

 

Four Years Later

Devimon started flying by and saw a small digimon. "Bye bye." Devimon said and then snapped their fingers and exploded the digimon.

"Can you find Patamon?" Devimon asked a new digimon called Ignitemon.

"No." Ignitemon said and Devimon left them alone thinking they were useless.

 

Meanwhile at Earth, Joe was on a date. "I love you Sarah." Joe confessed and they kissed. "Want to date?"

"Fuck off." Sarah said and then Joe went home.

"She rejected me." Joe said and ran away to summer camp.

"What is your age?" Eric the head guy asked and Joe said eighteen. "Then you can raise these people for a while."

"Matt is 16, Tai and Sora are fifteen, Izzy and Mimi are 14, and T.K. is thirteen." Joe read and then went to the cabin.

"Let's go on a adventure." Joe told them and then a wave came in and sucked them in.

 

In a odd world, the group woke up. "We are digimon." Tai's digimon said and then introduced. "I am dinosaur. Gabumon is emo dog. Biyomon is pink bird for LGBT. Tentomon is smart bug. Palmon is living plant. Gomamon is a seal. Patamon is useless."

After this short introduction, Devimon showed up. "I am evil. I am looking for my son."

"Am I your son?" Patamon asked and Devimon said yes. Shocked reactions went everywhere and the group nearly wet their pants.

"I will be taking you." Devimon said and grabbed Patamon. Somebody screamed and ran up to save them but got bitched slapped.

Ignitemon flew in right afterwards.

"I will help you." Ignitemon said and then everybody looked confused.

"I wasn't in the original show but this isn't like the show so it doesn't matter." Ignitemon reminded them and the group started to run to find Devimon.

 

After several hours of straight up running they found Devimon doing gross stuff to Patamon.

"Hold them tight." Patamon said and then digivolved to Angemon. They held Devimon in a full nelson.

"FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!!!!" Ignitemon yelled as they shot a powerful attack at them and killed them.

"Double kill." The narrator yelled and then there was a thing next to Devimon that started speaking.

"Oh look a new fucking threat. Let's take care of that." Ken who was now evil said this through the small thing that started to speak.

"We have to train." Sora said in a annoyed voice. T.K. left the group for no reason whatsoever.

 

 

Eventually Ken found the group and laughed at how weak they were. "Really your power level is only like 1,500? Whatever." Ken snapped his hand and then a couple garbage digimon popped up. They were Numemon and around five in all. "These all have the same power level of Devimon."

"This will be one fun party." JewelBeemon said as they held their hand up.

"I got this one." Mimi said with Palmon when they digivolved to Togemon but them they blew up on Palmon and killed them. Mimi cried.

"Togemon's here. No wait Togemon's dead." Tentomon said and cried a small tear. All the digimon digivolved and Tentomon's evolved form Kabuterimon destroyed all the Numemon.

"Hey your Devimon is still stronger than our Devimon. But JewelBeemon is worth 6 Devimon's and I am worth fifteen Devimon's." Ken was telling them in excitement.

"I am a bitch. Ken hates me." JewelBeemon said and the started blowing shit up and annoying everybody with their Trump talks.

"That was easy." Ken said and then T.K. came with a crazy power level.

"HOLY SHIT! IT'S OVER 9000!" Ken yelled and threw his digivice down. Then he threw a grenade at JewelBeemon and blew them up as they were asking why Ken did that.

"Because you're annoying and I want to fight him." Ken then took out a read lightsaber and had a duel with T.K. that brought them through the mountains and through all the plains. It ended when T.K. sliced at Ken's back and Ken felt awful for it.

"Fuck off." Ken told T.K. and the group celebrated their victory.

"We don't ever have to see him alive." Mimi was saying happily and then Ken muttered that they were going to see him in the next story arc.