Nonsensical: Starring Nicolas Cage

Here is the monstrosity:

It all started when the potato men were upset with Darth Vader for eating all the pie, like that episode of "That 70's Show"when Rob Shneider accidently slip, trip, and flipped into the neverland ranch were Eminem gave him a peanutbutter-jelly-chicken-tuna sandwhich. But, it all has to do with how Paula Deen saved the chickens from the balloon police and prevented WWXI. Thus, Nicolas Cage was born in Norway and extinguished the pancake paper massacre. Then Pikachu said "Bulbasaur," then ate the last coffee cake muffin. That's when Nicolas Cage knew hee had to save the grapes! Then the copper man flew Nic to the nickel planet where Coppah J. Asscrack (the copper man) was scraped for 1,100 pesos and Nic bought "League of the Fallout of Borderlands 11," and beat "Half-Life 3 part 2" in 11mins. Flabergasted, Nic threw Ape, the space monkey into a slam dunk and won the Stanley Cup. That's how Nicolas Cage saved the grapes th nightmare before Christmas.

8 mins ago Nicolas Cage beat "League of the Fallout of Borderlands 11" and won "CS:GO eat a dick" tournament. With the prize of 42 goat cheese wheels. Then a warlock appeared from Narnia and said "use the force Harry, you dumbshit" Nicolas Cage used struggle, the struggle was real! Goomy then used a gayme shark code for permenant sexiness. Nic then pulled out his 32bit iPhone 6k+ and looked up a good counter on Charmandipedia. Goomy let out a hearty laugh. Nic flinched and panicked, accidentally watched the full 81 seasons of "Friends" and lost his Impala. Then the Canadian Stoner Nation attacked Nic, then out of no where Nick McManlyMahon appeared and bashed everyone in the face, of course he would, he swore on his mum. He saved Mr. Cage and said "I must go shrek needs me" and flew away on his magestic stallion named Bombastic. Nic says to himself "It hasn't been this bad, no not since the accident!"

Nicolas Cage wanted some protection from the stoner nation. After reading "How Not To Be a Dummy For Dummies," after playing Dota 3 for 8 hours. He called his accountant, Leo who was also a doctor, engineer, chef, undercover cop with a 90's stache, and dentist. Leo suggested an A-team, Nic agreed so, they made the spookiest C-Team ever. The F-Team consisted of Nic, Dan the Man, Chad Kroeger, Kick Boxing Banana. They all found the nation's base. So, the V-Team shreked them so hard. Dan 360-Matrix-Illuminati-Inceptioned them. Nic forced them to watch his movie "Fifty Shades of Eleven." Chad Kroeger made a horrible single to shatter their eardrums, and Kickboxing Banana bashes them in teh gabbeh! Then sanic rewarded them all with Level 87 Bitches. The 11-Team knew it was a successful day. Beating up the Candian Stoner Nation behind that Chuck-E-Cheese on the 80th of May. Then Roger Daltrey did his signature scream, and the credits roll...

"Just kidding! Ha! You thought this was a trilogy, No! It's a *plech." "Sorry about that fake narrator I'm the real one, he was going to tel you about the secrets of THE AFRO (who is great).We will now continue with the program."

In the adventures of Nicolas Cage and the shitty side characters there once was a man that worked at the muffin factory during the English attack on the Teen Titans. But, Nic and the B-Team saved the day as they rode into battle on camel spiders and threw balls of Ebola at them. They were awesome together and grew a lot of hair. FUCK THAT! Nic made another horrible movie called "Drive Angry, Like Someone From Massachusetts," Chad Kroeger died from butthole fallout, Kickboxing Banana disappeared like RWJ's humor, oh wait, and Dan the Man went to go lift flat files for a living.

Nic sat alone in a room next to the void. He stared at the void for 8 years. And Nic said: "I know what I must do!" He stood up up, breaking his kneecaps and killed the muffin man. Then he saluted Mother Russia as he crawled toward the void into it, when it was too late Nic from the future said "No, don't do it!"

To be continued...