So um, where is the chapstick?

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So, one day I was sucking EVIL PATRIXXX's dick and I noticed my lips were chapped. I announced "OH SHIT MA LIPS ARE GONNA EXPLODE!" (Still while sucking our supreme overlord's dick) and let go of my grip and then ran outside of his "whore-house FOR MANLY MEN, BITCH". (Seriously it was called that.)

So when I got home I walked into my sister's room. (being 20 years old, I usually rely on my sister for advice) she had a dildo and was sucking it. (I still remember when we went to the sex-toy shop to get it) I said "GIVE ME THE FUCKIN DILDO!" and stole it from her.

I shoved it in my mouth and my lips started bleeding. I said "Oh yeah, my lips are chapped. Give me some chapstick, woman!" and I bitch-slapped her stupid face.

She gave me one of those sissy-ass eos things and it was empty. I threw it at her stupid bitch face and screamed "FUCK YOU YOU WHORE EVIL PATRIXXX WILL GET YOUR ASS!" she laughed hysterically and replied "I will drive you to Target and buy you one of those tubes of chapstick you squeeze and the shit you put on your lips comes out. I know you like to fap with those, so consider it a treat!"

I was not pleased. I fucked her and then cut her head off and tied it around the saddle of my horse and drove my horse to Target like a real fuckin man.

I met EVIL PATRIXXX there and sucked his star shaped cock in the kids section. A few kids came by and EVIL PATRIXXX  gave them a poisened Icee. (You know, those those slurpy things they sell at target) Then I said "Oh shit, I was gonna buy chapstick!"

We rushed down to the butt-plug section. (You know, the section EVERY Target has) We dropped cocaine and cooked meth and then we planted c4 and fled Target.

It exploded. Someone told us Shrek was snorting the coke and was about to smoke the meth when he EXPLODED!

So we 69'd in the parking-lot of Gamestop and then went inside Gamestop and asked for chapstick. The dude at the register said they don't have any chapstick. so we raped him and stole all the shit from Gamestop then played ALL the games. And then a skeleton popped out. Then I asked "So um, where's the chapstick?"

THE END, BITCHES.

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