Sonichu.avi
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NSFW WARNING
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I was walking down the street during the rainy day. Then I went to the video store. I was searching for some copies of Sonic X because this was my guilty pleasure. But I saw something that I could not believe.....ot was a Sonichu DvD. I was surprised. Then the owner came to me. He asked:"What are you looking for?I".
"Just some Sonic.....". But before I could finish my sentence, he gave me the Sonichu DvD and said:"Here it is. Have fun. Goodbye!". Then kicked me out of the store. Wow, that was rude.
I went home. I could not believe what was I holding. A Sonichu cartoon. On the box there was a title "Sonichu.avi". "This is going to be good" I nervously giggled.
I was ready to watch this. I knew jack shit about Sonichu and I could not care less. I opened the box....A pandora's box. The DvD flew out of the box and went directly to my DvD player. And it said: "You won't have another chance!" in Satanicly demonic voice. Lets get to the part where I watch this......I don't know how to describe it......
The first 10 seconds (yes, I had a stopwatch) was just a static. But just a ordinary static.....IT WAS RED.....and yellow. After that the opening theme was playing. To describe it.....sounded like some guy singing horribly and I mean HORRIBLY with some generic 2000's pop music. After that ear torture...it has started. At first there was a Sonic ripoff named Sonichu and Chris Thorndyke. They were walking down the street, Also there was an Amy Rose ripoff named Rosechu. But the problem was.....while Chris looked normal, Sonichu and Rosechu looked awful. The street was realistic. Not hyper-realistic like, but still very. Then they went to the market. I was bored BECAUSE NOTHING WAS HAPPENING. JEEZ! But I regreted this decision..... Soon, they went to the pickle seller. Chris ordered some pickles.....and I made a huge mistake. The dialoge was like this:
Chris: I would like to order some pickles, please.....
Sonichu: WHAT?
Rosechu: P....P...Pi...Pickles?
Chris: Guys, what's wrong?
Sonichu: DO YOU KNOW THAT PICKLES ARE FOR HERETICS!?
Rosechu: NOW PREPARE FOR SOME PUNISHMENT, YOU NAIVE NAIVIST!
The next scene what followd was the most disturbing shit I have ever seen. Sonichu and Rosechu went from their standard looking form to most hyper-....no.....to the most ULTRA HYPER-REALISTIC things I have ever seen. Sonichu grabbed the pickles and SHOVED IT UP CHRIS'S ARSE! Rosechu transformed into some deformed thing and started to HUMP CHRIS'S FACE. The pickle seller didn't do jack shit. He was laughing.....demonicaly. And then Sonichu inserted his......you know, this was too absolutely disgusting to even describe it. Only thing I could describe was.....SWEET JESUS, ZEUS, JUPITER AND ALL OTHER GODS THAT WE KNOW ABOUT THEM!!!! This was playing for whole 3 HOURS! After this super-torture....the whole thing stopped.
Whefff.......well....there is no hope..
Sudenly....THE MOST REALISTICLY SCARY PICTURE APPEARED. I shat bricks as hard as I could. The text was even more scarring
"I AM COMING FOR YOU, FUCKING NAIVE BEECH!"
The hand grabbed me in my crotch.
"PREPARE!"
Out of nowhere......Sonic crashed through the window. But not the Sonic as I know him. He had red pupilsand red eyes. The following dialoge was this:
Sonic: STOP. TAKING. MY.IDEAS
Sonichu: Boo hoo, keep cryin'.
Sonic: You what?1 YOU SHALL PERISH!
Sonichu: Battle me 1 on 1 feg!
Sonic: Of course you realise this means war!
But before the battle begun....the ground was shakin'! I pissed my trousers! Satan appeared! He ripped both Sonic's and Sonichu's balls and ate them. Then he send them to hell, where they belong. Satan came to me....he said:
"I apologise for this mess. I will fix it. Because you are scared, I will give you something to relax".
He gave me a joint. He left through tehe portal.
And so I smoke weed up to this day.
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