The Red Eye Ritual: Difference between revisions
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{{AN|This is obvious a joke story lol don't actually do this}}
This is extremely spooky ritual that I believe Jesus was using when he rised from da dead to fuck with people. I don't want to spoil the ritual, so I tell you how I did it first, for reasons you'll see propably later so shut the fuck up and listen, you rude prick.
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There are seven to five thousend steps, I'm not quite sure because I just stepped on a fucking lego and I'm pissed.
First, smoke that dank kush. When that is done, proceed to step two, that is summoning the Baphomet with your Necronomicon. Oh yeah you need necronomicon too, find it on the libary or something, that was the seventh item shit man i'm sorry it was honest mistake fuck you
Once the baphomet is chilling with you, ask him to drink the blood of the ancient god. If you were succesful with the ritual, you'd laugh your ass off because he would be throwing up because the blood taste like shit :DDDDD but back to the ritual. Baphomet will send you to the hell to chill with satan, but be aware, Satan is not a nice guy. I played Mario Kart with him, and he cheated. Like who does that? He's literally the worst. But keep your calm, you dant want to make him apset, or he might not speak to you for 30 mins and you'd get bored. Ask satan to give you some of that sweet Purple Haze, that is so good you'll be send back to earth.
You should be aware that there are some risks in this. If Satan is a douche, he might not give you da kush and you'll be like "daymn what the fuck satan I thought you were cool and you have to hang out with satan until your mom picks you up. If you are trying to call snoop but
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