1000 in 1 Games of Death

Have you ever heard of those cheap, Chinese made 1000 in 1 games that are a rip-off of pretty much every NES game ever made? Well, when my mom said she would get me a video game if I had gotten straight A's in school, I immediately rose to the challenge. After 4 weeks of cramming studies hardcore and listening to the teacher, she finally got me a game. Not Super Smash Brothers: Brawl, or even Pokemon Black, but a crappy, $5.00 1000 in 1 Game handheld. Begrudgingly, I said thank-you, to make sure she didn't feel bad.

I went to my room to see all the crappy games they ripped off, and I was right. I first started off with a game called "Terrorist Capture", which was basically a ripoff of Contra 2. After 10 minutes of looking through numerous NES and SNES ripoffs, I came across a game called "Super Brothers 3" Which I figured was the same thing as Super Mario Brothers 3. I saw the main title curtain of SMB3, but as the curtains opened, it showed Mario and Luigi dressed in 1920's Mobster clothes, sporting a WWII Thompson Gun in their hands. Instead of Koopa Troopas showing up, there was what looked like a crowd of innocent, homeless women, children, and men alike. Mario's subtitles came up, saying "You disgusting people ravage our streets with filth and flies, and the boss says to exterminate you rats." Mario aimed at the homeless people, and started shooting. I was appalled and disgusted, but I wanted to keep going on, so I pressed A to start.

Instead of starting on the level select screen, it showed King Koopa's Castle, and then faded into a dark room. Everything was pitch-black, but then a door opened, revealing a cowering princess in the corner. Mario and Luigi started escorting her out, but then Bowser jumped in and blocked the way. He roared, and squeezed in his arm, was an 8bit sprite of a woman. "Help me! Please don't let him kill me!" She screamed in subtitles.

Bowser put a gun to her head, and then shot, leaving a hyper realistic blood pool on the floor. Mario bashed his head in with the butt of his gun, and pulled out a handgun. "Please don't kill me!" Bowser said. Mario pulled the trigger, and blood squirted on his face. "I've had enough of this." I said. I tried to pull out the batteries, but the massacre didn't stop.

It said "You have beaten the game!" and showed Mario, Luigi, and the princess shooting through crowds of citizens and children.

The last picture before the whole system broke showed a toad, head hung over. The toad lifted its head, and showed that there was no eye sockets, and blood streaming down from the eyes and mouth. The toad held a gun to its head, and the second it shot, the whole system died. I have never played a Chinese ripoff again, with the toad still holding the gun to its head in the back of my mind.

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