5 foot 4

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Guys come on now, I'm not 5'4", I have gone bald and that makes me look an inch shorter so if you think about it, I'm 5'5". Plus I'm hanging out with my homies all day and they have bigger shoes than I do and they have to add a few inches so lets say I'm 5'7". But I wear a lot of headphones all day and that makes my head go down by 2 inches so math teaches us that you gotta round to the nearest 10 so means that I'm 5'10". My girl always makes fun of me for only being 5'10" and she's always wearing those shoes that make her taller by a few inches so technically that makes me 6 foot. But 6 foot sounds weird and people think your lying when you say "Uh Hey I'm 6 foot" so that means that I'm really 6'1". And 1+1=2 so that means that I'm 6'2". And if I'm 6'2" just like Steph Curry and he's so good that he might as well be 6.5ft so that's how tall I really am. But 6'5" sounds unrealistic so if we're talking no cap I'm 6.6 but 6.6ft people are scary and I'm not scary so that means I'm 8'11" just like the tallest man to ever live who wasn't scary.

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