87 Sheets of Toilet Paper

I wiped my ass with 87 sheets of toilet paper and now none of my coworkers will talk to me.

I had to shit at work today, and doing what you're supposed to, I wiped until I saw blood.

Unfortunately, this took 87 sheets of toilet paper, which promptly clogged the toilet when flushed. Upon seeing the toilet filled with radioactive green piss, turds that carried a vague resemblance to full sized rolls of salami, and a few gallons of blood in varying shades of red, my coworkers won't talk to me anymore.

There isn't even "hushed whispers" around the office, everyone just stares straight ahead with a dead look in their eyes. What is wrong with my coworkers?

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