A Bothersome Gentleman
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NSFW WARNING
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So, back in the day I used to live in a house in the suburbs. Near my home was a fairly trafficked road, and a few weeks ago, there had been an accident. A truck from the dildo factory (biggest business in town) had collided with a regular car. The driver of the regular car had perished, dildos in places best not mentioned.
Anyway, this guy had friends and relatives or something, and they had put up a shrine in his memory at the crash site. A shrine containing a lot of cool stuff, related to his life. One such thing was a vintage Darth Vader action figure. Now, who could most benefit from such a treasure? Me, or some dead guy?
Purely a retorical question, the action figure is now resting easy in a cardboard box in my garage. And that's the story of how I got a cool Star Wars thing. Completely unrelated to this, some guy had been knocking on my door every night since. He's got a weird limp, as if something is stuck up his ass...
Tell you more about it later...
Later
I've told you about the prank war between my brother and I. In order to get him back for giving me a posessed doll, I've been perusing a book I found in the palace library, looking for ideas. It's author, Abdul Alhazred, was thought to be mad, surely some wacky hijinks must be found within Kitab al-Azif, better known as the Necronomicon.
I couldn't decipher it's strange language, but before becoming Royal Keeper of Reality (and paramour to the princess), I worked as a security guard at an insane asylum. I was given a set of rules, but I didn't read them, seeing as reruns of old A-team episodes were on the TV. Long story short, I now have an uneasy truce with the Esoteric Order of Dagon. And a plan was coming together...
Credited to Somedudethatisbored
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