All Gone, or The Masterpiece of a 21st Century Mind of Pure Villainy
Author's note: This pasta was in development off and on for several years, starting in 2021 if I remember correctly, about a year after the original version, which you can find here. I'm finally at a point now where I feel like this is good enough for release... I say, as I'm posting it on the Trollpasta Wiki. Mmmhmm.
I'd like to start this with a firm and blunt 'screw you' to Chaz and Terry. If you know, you know.
Lost Episode Creepypastas. You've probably seen these stories before. They're kind of cheesy, not that well written, and in general kind of goofy and hard to take seriously... Until they're not.
I'm Ryan Conley, and I'm an FBI agent. What you are about to read is something involving a young girl's obsession with these stories going too far (a la Slender Man stabbing), and a certain tape made by said girl. If you're not worried yet, you should be.
All Gone is a tape purporting to be a lost episode of a somewhat obscure 1987 OVA called Bubblegum Crisis. It was created by Alyssa Church and her boyfriend Sheldon French, recent high school graduates, with the help of Andrew Skinner (who created storyboards... more on him later), and was discovered by Robert Webster, their longtime friend and classmate, who found it on his doorstep after getting home from the store with his father. After viewing it, Webster called the police. Officers quickly confiscated the tape, much to Webster's relief, and that's how we the FBI got a hold of it.
This tape was inspired by the infamous SpongeBob SquarePants video Red Mist, which Mr. Skinner was accused of creating. This 'lost episode' involves the death of the leader of the Knight Sabers (an all-female group dedicated to hunting these robots called boomers... nothing to do with baby boomers), Sylia Stingray. When I first heard about the tape, I couldn't help but chuckle, cause funnily enough, I used to watch BGC a lot in the 2000s. "Really now?" I said, having only a rudimentary idea about what I was in for. Oh my god, was I wrong. This was bad.
The following is a description of what me and my colleagues saw, as well as what we did and said at certain points in our viewing of the tape.
Before anything else though, I should sort us from youngest to oldest, as that sounds important: Jack Schmidt III (23 - This was his first big case), Fernando de la Peña (26), Grant Kirkland, Jr. (29), me (31), and Richard Jones (54).
CONTENTS
Starting with the physical tape, it's a standard 90 minute VHS tape. On its label, the title "ALL GONE" is scribbled on with a red Sharpie. Right above, there is a red 'X'. There was apparently supposed to be a deeper meaning, but some... complications arose on Ms. Church's end, which gave her little time to figure things out. Said complications are explained rather vaguely in a message she left on the VHS sleeve:
"FROM PRINCESS SUICIDE AND HER ETERNAL PRINCE
R. WEBSTER,
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I ARE GOING AWAY FOR A WHILE. BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND, AND OUR HONORARY KNIGHT, I GRANT YOU EXCLUSIVE ACCESS TO THE WORK-IN- PROGRESS VERSION OF OUR NEW EXPERIMENTAL ANIMATION 'ALL GONE', BASED ON SEVERAL RECENT OBSESSIONS OF MINE. IF THERE HAPPENS TO BE AN INCREASED LAW ENFORCEMENT PRESENCE IN YOUR AREA FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, DON'T PANIC; THAT IS NORMAL. WE ANTICIPATED IT AND MADE NECESSARY PREPARATIONS. WE WILL RETURN WHEN THE DUST SETTLES. UNTIL THEN, WE ASK THAT YOU LOOK AFTER THIS TAPE.
BLESS YOU, MY FRIEND. THE RED MIST VIEWS YOU FAVORABLY.
[Red X symbol]"
I... see.
Indeed, what we have is not the most complete version of the tape. There was a lot to be added, but production had to be put on hold. This will become increasingly more apparent down the line.
Regarding the art style, it's great. A lot of it isn't animated, unfortunately. It's mostly a slideshow with only small bits of movement sprinkled here and there. If you've ever seen lost Doctor Who serials from the 1960s, then you'll know what it's like. Everything is hand drawn on paper using colored pencils, and it imitates the art style of the actual OVA surprisingly well. A lot of effort has been put into this. Voice acting was done by Ms. Church and several old school friends, who were blissfully unaware of what they were being asked to take part in.
As for the actual contents, well, this is where it begins to get bad.
This tape is 29 minutes and 55 seconds long. Not unlike a BGC episode, to be fair, but to create a 30 minute lost episode filled to the brim with... stuff, takes dedication, and, I would imagine, a lot of drugs, though strangely we didn't find any in our investigations.
It begins with Sylia, swimming in a pool. It appears that this scene was traced over a frame from the first episode of the actual OVA. After swimming a little bit, she starts to have visions of strange, red eyed demons. She closes her eyes for a few seconds, and when she reopens them they are red.
She gets out of the pool, absolutely sopping wet, and repeatedly mutters "You all die..." Her voice is raspy, like she's got a cold or something. She starts growling.
Static appears for five seconds, and the screen goes black... for five minutes. This is the first of many signs of how incomplete this really is.
[We turned to each other, slightly confused. I heard Grant whisper "There's no way this can be serious." to Richard and Fernando. They both chuckled a bit. They, of course, were also wrong.]
After the five minutes are up, we see Sylia and the rest of the Knight Sabers (Priss Asagiri, Linna Yamazaki, and Nene Romanova) walking around Tokyo (or, well, mega tokyo...whatever). Sylia is shaking, and her eyes are bloodshot. Linna notices this and says "Everything okay?", but her voice is so distorted that you can't make it out. We only know what she's saying because we have the actual script, written by Church herself. Sylia shoves her away and yells "GET AWAY FROM ME!"
[Fernando said "Damn, someone's having a bad day." and everyone laughed except for me. I could tell that something wasn't right, so I told them to knock it off.]
The girls go back to walking. "She's been acting weird all day." Priss whispers to Linna, concerned. Then, the demons flash on the screen and Sylia's eyes turn red again. Her growling starts back up, and she begins to foam like a rabid animal. She pulls out a knife [I paused the tape and turned to my colleagues. Jack said "There's only one way this can end."] and stabs Nene in the heart, killing her almost instantly.
The camera switches over to Priss and Linna's terrified faces, with some weird slurping and swallowing sounds in the background. [I didn't pick this up at first, but I will later on.] They both make a run for it as Sylia lets Nene's lifeless body go. She says "Hmph. Is it even worth the trouble?" before walking in the opposite direction. Static appears once again and the screen goes black for another five minutes.
[We paused the video and headed off to lunch, and I told our boss about what we had seen so far. When we got back, we resumed it, unaware of what was to come.]
The screen comes back once more and it shows Linna in the fetal position on a sofa. She has little to no color in her face and she's shaking like crazy. Priss is sitting beside her, comforting her. She says "It's okay. She's in a better place now." and Linna, seemingly not very convinced of that, whispers "Death...destruction...fire...war...torture... suffering...hate...murder..." and other blood-curdling words.
[Grant said "Starting to think I was wrong." Just now, dude?]
An image flashes on the screen for a frame.
[Fernando said "What the hell was that?" so I rewound it, and what we saw was horrible.]
It's the dead body of an 8 year old boy. His stomach was ripped out and its contents were poured onto his face; you can see semi-digested spaghetti and garlic bread with tomato sauce. The rest of his body was lacerated to all hell.
[Grant bolted out of the room to go vomit. Afterwards, he came back and said "...woah, probably shoulda taken that into account... Get that shit off the screen, my stomach's still yelling at me." I resumed the video.]
Linna screams in agony, while Priss hugs her and says "Shh. We're alright. There's no need to scream."
Then, someone knocks on the door. Priss gets up and opens it, and to her surprise, it's Nene. Her skin is pale, as she is now completely drained of blood, and she has a scar on her chest.
She asks, "What did she do to me?"
Priss and Linna run up and hug her, relieved. Their relief does not last for long, as Sylia appears right ahead of them, standing in the doorway. Static appears, and when it's finished, she's gone just like that.
"She's not through with us yet." Linna says, as static consumes the screen once more. Again, this is followed by five more minutes of nothing.
[Richard said "These long pauses are getting old." Yea, you can say that again.]
Later, the five minutes are up, and Sylia is sitting on a bench at nighttime, looking suspiciously normal. The background is blurred, and for good reason. She starts a frankly bizarre monologue.
"Hmm... yes. I suppose this is my happy place. I've searched for years and years, and now I have found it." Then, she seemingly turns her head to the viewer. "Tell me. Have you found your happy place? It might not be the same as my happy place. It might be in your house, or maybe out in a village in the desert, but there's one thing people always have in their happy place."
For half a second, a scene of a silhouette walking into a door with a pistol can be seen.
Then, the background becomes unblurred, and it is revealed that Sylia has murdered a bunch of children in a playground.
["Oh shit!" exclaimed Richard and Fernando.]
A wicked smile appears on her face, and she lifts up her knife to show how bloody it is. The background (not to mention her eyes) gets progressively psychedelic and colorful, while her mouth gets progressively foamy again, this time as if she's jacked up on drugs. Gargling sounds can be heard, along with whispering voices.
[Grant said "That was me back in high school!" chuckling some more, forgetting he's an FBI agent. At that point, Jack had enough, and turned to him and said "Shut up already."]
Then, the color fades away, with the exception to the foam, which turns blood red. The swirling in the background and the flashing in Sylia's eyes both cease. Her eyes are normal again, albeit bloodshot.
She wipes the bloody foam from her mouth and says "The void calls. I must answer."
The scene fades to black, and this time it's only for a few seconds. What a relief.
When it comes back, it's a shot of the inside of Sylia's home. She enters and turns on the light. For once, this looks like a relatively normal scene. Don't worry, it's going to get worse. She pulls up a window's blinds, lights a cigarette, takes a puff, and starts looking out, her reflection visible.
[Fernando said "Okay! Are we gonna have a normal cartoon? Please?"]
As time goes by, things begin to deteriorate. Firstly, her eyes turn red, and she begins to smirk.
[This immediately prompted Richard to tell Fernando "No, we're not going to have a normal cartoon."]
Next, the scene, with the exception of Sylia, starts to warp. Then, the psychedelic colors return. Ominous giggling sounds can be heard.
Words flash on the screen intermittently: "Do it." "The Red Mist is coming." "Sylia will FUCKING DESTROY YOUR PLANET" "Sylia is dead. Miss her. Miss her."
[We looked through them one by one. Admittedly, I chuckled at the 'destroy your planet' one.]
Lastly, the psychedelic visuals disappear once more, and a red mist can be seen hanging over the city. Sound familiar? This goes on for a bit, but then it jumps to something else.
The scene is now of Sylia standing. It's dark and grayscale, and her eyes are glowing red rings. Of course, this references the infamous picture of Squidward from Red Mist. Very faint and slow breathing can be heard. Not much happens in this scene, other than an occasional blink. It's cliché, and not that frightening, at least not to me. I didn't grow up on stuff like this, and it shows. The problem comes in its length. This drags on for a whopping eight minutes. Why?
[We skipped ahead a little, cause we just weren't in the mood at that point.]
When the 8 minutes are up, it zooms in on her face. Faint whispering begins as she starts to smirk again. Static appears, and we're back to the part of Sylia killing Nene, with the surrounding scenery now looking more gloomy and decayed.
Like before, Priss and Linna watch in shock, but it soon cuts to what they're seeing: Sylia is drinking the blood straight from Nene's wound. That's where the slurping noises were coming from.
[This made me nauseous. I wasn't ready at all.]
Then it fades to black, and bits of text appear, one after another, with Sylia's voice reading them out.
"I am happy."
"I am so very happy."
"I feel too happy to live."
"My happiness cannot be contained in this mortal body."
"I must set my happy soul free."
"Before the Red Mist comes."
"The Red Mist is coming."
"The Red Mist is coming."
"THE RED MIST IS COMING."
Static reappears, and it returns to the closeup of her face. She closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath.
"I am ready." she says.
The camera zooms out, revealing that she is holding a knife. She stabs herself in the chest, and collapses onto the floor. A puddle of blood forms below her.
Her voice, now disembodied, softly speaks one last time as darkness closes in on her body: "Goodnight, my friends."
The scene fades to black.
One last piece of text appears. It follows the cliché of sinister, threatening text in a foreign language, but this time it's in badly translated Latin:
"Redibit in aeternum somnia tua frequentabit, incipiendo ab omni sancto Eva MMXXXIII. Dic preces tuas, nam effugium non est.
[Rough approximation: She will return to haunt your dreams forevermore, beginning on All Hallows Eve 2033. Say your prayers, for there is no escape.]
(c) 666, Princess Suicide
In association with the Eternal Prince and Andrew Skinner"
[We thought it ended there. We weren't very amused by what we just witnessed. Grant got closer to the TV, as if to shout at it for doing something mildly disagreeable (which it kind of did), and said "Now, those are some fighting words, young lady." before realizing how dumb he was making himself look. "...Yeah, I'm done."]
A few seconds later, the closeup of her face comes back with a startling sound.
[This scared the hell out of Grant, who jumped backwards and nearly knocked the coffee table over: "AH!" We laughed.]
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you?" she says, giggling and mockingly blowing a kiss to the viewer.
[It was as if she knew Grant was taunting her, and wanted to teach him a lesson.]
Then, it finally ends.
[We were all relieved to be done. We looked at each other, not saying a word. Frankly, what was there to say?]
SOME DISTURBING FINDINGS...
The morning after we watched it, we conducted a search on the Church household to find some sort of clue regarding the whereabouts of Alyssa. It proved to be an awkward ordeal because her parents were there, and we caught them by surprise, which didn't seem all that fair to me. We searched vigorously, and we discovered a plethora of awful things and came to some incredibly upsetting realizations, which are as follows:
- The dead boy in the video was the younger brother of Alyssa, Aiden, for whom an AMBER Alert was issued a week before the delivery of the tape to Webster. We were able to determine this by analyzing several family photos. In one that we found, he wears the exact same shirt he wore when he was killed: a yellow one with SpongeBob's face on it. It wasn't easy telling Mr. and Mrs. Church the bad news. The former hung his head in silent disappointment and grief, while the latter almost instantly broke down screaming and crying.
We were absolutely devastated. To think that a young woman with a such promising life ahead of her would throw it all away in an instant and end the life of someone of her own kin, whose life had only barely gotten started... It's really heartbreaking, and to this day, I still haven't quite recovered.
Webster recollected his experience seeing the photo: "I saw it flicker, and I had to rewind to see it. Big mistake. I knew straight away who it was. And thinking back to that screwed up message, it became all too obvious to me what had happened. I kept quiet about it though. I didn't have it in me to open my mouth cause I knew how much Aiden's parents loved him. I was unfortunately nearby when Ryan and company came around to check the Church household, and when they broke the news, the ensuing anguish was exactly what I had anticipated."
- A gun was found in the side table drawer next to Alyssa's bed. This is the exact one that the silhouette was holding. It was, apparently, stolen from her father, who doesn't have anything resembling a gun locker, which right there is an 'improper storage of a firearm' charge, sorry to say. It went unused as a murder weapon though, and was unloaded when we found it, so we decided not to charge him.
- The silhouette in question was Sheldon, as seen in extra behind the scenes footage discovered on Alyssa's laptop, on which the video was edited. Not as incriminating of a finding, but still noteworthy.
- Several extra scenes were proposed, and a small few were even storyboarded, but these were all left unfinished, and had to eventually be cut due to Alyssa needing to put the project on hold. It would seem that they were meant to go in the spots where the long pauses are now. These scenes were to include, as one would expect, more disturbing moments, but since they weren't finished, we don't know what they could have been.
- We found a lengthy email conversation between Alyssa and Andrew Skinner on the laptop. To summarize, Alyssa contacted Mr. Skinner, veteran storyboard artist and animator at Impact Studios in Stirling, Scotland (not Fife as claimed in the Red Mist story), asking if he could help her in the creation of 'an experimental film with subject matter [Skinner] might be familiar with.' Skinner indeed had the time to help, but was confused as to why he was contacted.
Alyssa explained, and Skinner expressed his reluctance to participate, stating: "While it is true that I have created animations of surrealist and macabre nature parodying popular children's TV shows for a laugh, Squidward's Suicide or Red Mist is often falsely attributed to me because it is heavily influenced by my work, as well as a story about a Mickey Mouse cartoon that I am unfamiliar with, which could've also been influenced by something I did. The author's claims that I murdered children are slanderous and false, and at one point had a negative impact on my life, which led to me pulling my grim parodies from the net and moving on to other projects."
Skinner is being truthful, because we vigorously investigated his background, and found nothing linking him to the purported murders. According to the National Crime Agency, our counterparts on the other side of the pond, there is another individual named Andrew Skinner from the village Kinglassie in Fife, who got into legal trouble for attempted murder in 2002. He is not connected to the animator in any way. I doubt that Chaz Agnew took any of this into account when writing Red Mist, cause he's that kind of guy. You know the one.
Despite everything, Skinner eventually agreed to join the project as a storyboard artist, and was sent the script along with a ton of photos from Bubblegum Crisis to use as reference.
- Leland Skinner, Andrew's brother, was also contacted, but he didn't respond.
- We found that Alyssa had a Facebook profile, which struck us as unusual given how out of fashion the platform has become for people of her generation. There, we found this hastily written post:
"Hi all
Sheldon and i are going to go out of state for a few weeks because we need time to unwind, everythings been really hectic and stressful lately with aiden going missing and stuff. Just want you guys to know that im going to be allright [sic]. Ill tell you more once we get where we need to be. Love you guys!!!
Ps. Rob webster, check your front door, ive left something for you"
Several hours after it had been posted, Webster commented, including a picture of the bizarre message on the VHS sleeve. He had just found the tape on his doorstep: "What the fuck?"
This led to a lengthy conversation in the comment section among family and friends, who all expressed major concern and worry for the safety of Alyssa and Sheldon. It lasted for about two hours, and in that timeframe, Webster viewed the tape for the first time after initially hesitating. Eventually, Alyssa responded, and started going back and forth with Webster.
Alyssa: "Have you shown the film to the others yet rob?"
Robert: "No but I got done watching bout 30 minutes ago. The hell did you make me watch? This is horrible."
Alyssa: "Weve known eachother for 12 years rob, I expected better from you"
Robert: "I'm sorry and all, I've always been supportive of you and your interests but you're really testing the limits of things by doing this and I'm not having it."
Alyssa: "Exactly this is a betrayal"
Scott (Alyssa's father): "Robert isn't betraying you, Alyssa, he's worried about you like the rest of us."
Alyssa: "You kept me from doing what i loved so i dont wanna fucking hear it bitch"
Robert: "I'm done. I'm calling the cops."
Scott: "Robert, please calm down. There's no need to do that."
Robert: "You'll reverse your stance quick when you see what I found on that tape."
- Unfortunately, despite our efforts, Alyssa and Sheldon remain at large, with their location still unknown. Cellular devices and such have been left behind, and they took off in a considerably older car model with no GPS or anything of the sort, which leaves us with no way to track them. All we know, based on information from the Church family, is that the car is a gray 1981 Buick Riviera that was given to Alyssa by her granduncle, Rodney.
SUBSEQUENT VIEWINGS
Two weeks passed, and the tape was shown at Aiden's funeral to friends and family. There was no casket or urn; his body was never found. I was there, along with my colleagues, barring Jack, who was busy and thus unable to attend. Webster was also there, and he presented them the tape, stating, "I don't want to show you this, but she unfortunately demands it."
When the episode started, he quickly exited the chapel so he wouldn't see it again, returning 30 minutes later. He apologized to the others, for both subjecting them to the video and rudely stepping out during a funeral. There was a stunned, shocked, and disgusted silence in the air when all was done. Those who planned to speak about Aiden became understandably discouraged by what they witnessed, and everything came to a complete screeching halt.
The officiant stood up and spoke, "Due to what has occurred here and now, it's become apparent that we are not in the right state of mind to proceed. We may need to reconvene another day."
Mr. Church, however, protested with great fervor, raising his voice, "We've still got so many good times to remember. Should we let some monster's animated snuff film stop us? No sir. Robert did the right thing in showing us, because now we know who to bring to justice for all this."
Many were shocked, and quick to reprimand him for calling his own daughter a monster, but he doubled down on his stance, raising his voice even further: "The young girl Shirley (Mrs. Church) and I thought we knew would NEVER take the life of anybody like that! Especially not Aiden, who looked up to her, and turned to her when he was having a bad day! She was his best friend, and she betrayed him; she betrayed all of us. Now let's get this funeral right. It's hard enough that we're here without the poor boy to bury as it is."
At that point, me and the boys decided to leave out of respect for the others. We weren't prepared to get in the middle of family drama; we felt like we were being invasive. Not a good feeling.
We got back to our field office, briefed our boss, and that was that for now. There was still a lot of work to be done, but watching that disaster of a funeral, on top of the video again, sucked a lot out of me. I sat at my desk, propping my heavy, tired head up with my hand.
THEN, EVERYTHING GETS SO MUCH WORSE.
"Uh... Ryan?" said my boss.
"What is it?"
"This box just came in."
"Lemme look..."
I looked inside, and found a note. It was from Alyssa. Same handwriting as the message on the sleeve.
"FROM PRINCESS SUICIDE
HOW DARE YOU?
I KNOW YOU PESTILENT MAGGOTS HAVE MY MAGNUM OPUS IN YOUR POSSESSION. MY UNFINISHED MAGNUM OPUS, MIGHT I ADD. YOU FOOLISH, SELF-PROCLAIMED LAW ENFORCERS ARE ALWAYS INTERFERING IN MATTERS YOU SHOULDN'T. I AM A GODDESS OF HEAVEN AND HELL, DAY AND NIGHT, LIGHT AND DARK, LIFE AND DEATH, WITH MY POWER GIFTED TO ME BY THE RED MIST. I AM ALL ENCOMPASSING, YET I CONTINUE TO BE SPAT ON. NO MORE. ON MIDNIGHT, JUNE 6, I WILL DECLARE HOLY WAR AGAINST THE FOLLOWING IF THE TAPE IS NOT RETURNED TO ME AT ONCE:
RYAN SAMUEL CONLEY
GRANT JASON KIRKLAND
FERNANDO FELIPE MANUEL DE LA PENA [sic]
JACK SCHMIDT
L'RHEA DAVIESS
RICHARD JONES
BARRY O'NEILL
JENNIFER HAGUE
STEFANI ALBRECHT
BERNARD JENKINS
GARRY ELERY
THE RED MIST IS COMING
I FORGIVE ROBERT WEBSTER, MY HONORARY KNIGHT, FOR HE KNEW NOT WHAT HE WAS DOING...
[Red X]"
...I still have so many questions. She listed out the names of everybody who works in this building, and my name was atop the list. How? The case made local news headlines, yes, but only a few of us were named in the articles. I feel like something went horribly wrong here, and miraculously, none of us knew! I felt like one of the idiots in those stories. I felt like the intern at Nickelodeon Studios, almost. Maybe not that dumb, but down there.
I continued searching the box. Inside, I found five color pencil drawings on rigid paper, laminated for protection.
OH, BOY...
The first, and by far the worst drawing, shows Sylia, smiling evilly, knife in hand, with a beheaded man in an FBI outfit in front of her. I distinctly recognized this as being traced over an image of the body of journalist James Foley, who was killed by the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria in 2014. Absolutely sick. Though it would've been really screwed if it was, it's not anybody who works here, and is instead a simple character acting as a general personification of the FBI. Still awful. I had several nightmares about this one in the ensuing weeks.
The second drawing is a comic strip of sorts. It features Nene, looking the same as she did. She cries, "Ryan... if you can hear me, please save me." before a large, bloody, gory hand grabs hold of her legs and drags her into the abyss. She screams, clawing at the ground, desperate to get away. The final panel shows the text, "Ryan wasn't fast enough."
The third drawing was of the hanging, decaying body of Linna in the middle of a dark forest. The phrase "ABANDONED BY GOD, EMBRACED BY SATAN" can be seen repeatedly carved into the tree trunk. To the left of her, there was a poem.
"I wanted a chance for salvation
Oh so very very badly
But the God behind my creation
Has forever condemned me
Now I welcome the embrace of Satan
And the voids that have laid dormant
Since the dawn of time
Till eternity"
On the back of this one, there's an alternate version with the poem missing, and... oh my god, Logan Paul discovering her body, saying, "Oh man, this calls for a moment in which I make a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment." and seemingly unzipping his pants, all with a smug, ill-mannered grin on his face. I get the feeling this one was Sheldon's idea...
I hate to admit it, but I laughed for the first time in two weeks. Unfortunately though, I remembered that I still had two drawings left to look at, and my joy abruptly faded.
The fourth drawing is of Priss lying on the floor, her body convulsing. Her red, hemorrhaging eyes are rolling in two different directions, and foamy blood is coming out of her mouth. An empty pill bottle can be seen next to her, which indicates that she is dying of a drug overdose. This one has another poem.
"By Death I have now been kissed
Like my friends I so dearly miss
And as my body writhes and twists
My mind is consumed by the Red Mist"
I turned to the other side, hoping there would be another funny, albeit really distasteful, alternate version. But there was nothing.
The fifth and final image is of the Knight Sabers standing side by side in a black void, all with the same old red ring eyes. Behind them are two new figures. The first is a princess with long black hair and a black and white gown. Same old eyes. The other is, I assume, her prince. Short black hair, and again, the same old eyes. He wears a Prince Charming-like outfit, and has angel wings. This must be 'Princess Suicide and her Eternal Prince'... god, what went so wrong? It confuses me to no end.
A piece of text below all of them reads, "This is where we all went. Care to join us?"
On the back, there's another humorous drawing, this time a two-panel comic strip. It starts with that one infamous shot from Red Mist redrawn, with Sylia paying Squidward a visit, crawling through his bedroom window right behind him.
Sylia: "DRUGS!"
Squidward: "Please get out of my house."
Sylia: "But have you got drugs? :3"
Squidward: "I'm a Christian."
The next panel is of her harassing the Scottish salesman fish guy who warned Squidward of the Red Mist, knocking on his window, while he's on the couch watching TV. This particular scene looks relatively normal despite her being right outside, and the salesman isn't screwed up like the rest of the characters.
Sylia: "Hello? Can I have some human souls? I'm really eager to try some human souls."
Scottish Fish: "FUCK OFF!"
I didn't laugh as hard at this one. It was mostly just... there.
After looking through all these, I showed my buds. They were predictably unamused once more. Richard was especially nauseated by the first one.
To give some perspective, he's a seasoned veteran of the Bureau, serving since 1994, and for the majority of his career up to this point, he's had to deal with the nightmarish aftermath of 9/11; wave after wave of widespread panic and fear of terrorism hitting America again, as well as the rise of ISIS in the 2010s.
In short, the drawing opened up a Pandora's Box of bad memories for him.
Our boss came back around, and he could see in our eyes just how screwed up we were from having to deal with this for so long. We wanted to go home, and thankfully, he let us. I was delighted.
I got home, and completely ignoring my wife and kids in the living room, I limped upstairs, flopping onto the bed and conking out. I knew deep down that they were worried. So very worried. But they didn't need to know what I saw, and they still don't. I endured it all so they didn't have to. More importantly though, it's another example of what I do to keep them from starving, and I have no regrets on that front.
CLOSING STATEMENTS
To my knowledge, no one else has seen the tape. Several outside sources tell me that it's been put online under the title "syliasuicide"; I take this with a grain of salt because that's what Terry (aka 'TR') said about suicidemouse.avi, and he made it up.
If you ever find a copy of the -actual- film (not some weird fan recreation inconsistent with the description provided above, cause I know what you people are like), just ignore it and move on. If you have any inquiries or bits of information regarding All Gone, or some other lost episode for that matter, I'll set up a dedicated email for that stuff soon. I'll try to get back to you, but I can't 100% guarantee it, given how demanding my job can be.
As for Alyssa and Sheldon... I don't wanna be that guy, but you two aren't going to be able to run from the law for much longer. You let your friends down. You let your family down. You let Aiden down. And you're letting me down by not accepting your fate and turning yourselves in. We are well past June 6th, by the way, and nothing's happened outside of more weird and threatening letters.
"How are you resisting my psychic warfare?" you ask. (Your stupid words, not mine...)
It's simple. there is no such thing as psychic warfare, and there never will be.
Until next time, this has been Ryan Conley. Take care, everyone.
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