Arthur: Mr. Ratburn Snaps (The Real Last Episode)
As many of you may already be aware the childrens animated PBS show Arthur aired it's final episode on February 21 2022. It showed all of the Elwood City kids all grown up and what there future jobs are. It truly was an exsellnt finale. But what if I told you this was never meant to be the final episode of Arthur? Fasten you"re seatbelts ladys and gentleman your in for an wild ride!
When I first discovered Arthur aired its final episode, I was quite heartbroken. I grew up watching the adventures of the titular aardvark and friends religiously as a child, so i holds a deep emotional and nostalgic connection to me. I fell off with the series when i got older but i decided to view the cartoons last hoo-rah to bid it a great farewell. Considering I punched a hole threw my TV screen after a bad Superbowl halftime performance I had to watch the episode on the internet. But since i'm too much of a cheapskate to pay for the episode I did some deep diving on google to see if I could watch it for free. I then came across a link for a site where i could watch cartoons for free. And lucky enough the episode was smack dab on the front page ready to watch. "This is going to be a treat" I said as I clicked the thumbnail.
Immediately, things were definitely out of the ordinary. The episode immediately cut to the segment where Arthur or other charcters address the audience to explain the lesson they will learn today. But there wasn't any monolgue delivered by Arthur. Instead, we see the outside of the Elwood City cemetery as the camera pans to various tombstones. A memorial service was taking place. The pastor was delivering the eulogy to a family, but they were too far away to see which family it was. "Strange" I thought "but Arthur tackled some serious topics like death in the past." The camera then panned to a shadowy figure, letting out a devious chuckle. Let me tell you, this chuckle was creepy... enough to send shivers down my spine.
The title card appeared on the screen, but it was different. Instead of the quirky animations and one the characters reading the episodes title, it was just a black screen with the words "Mr. Ratburn Snaps" which appeared to be scribbled poorly in red marker. No one even read the title aloud, just eerie silence and a flicker of static. In fact, from what i saw so far, the whole episode appeared to have the grainy VHS filter to it even though I was watching on my piece of shit MacBook. I was now getting that unmistakble feeling that ill soil my troiusers at any minite. The episode began with mr. Ratburns students bullying him for being gay which he learned in a prevous episode where mr ratburn marrys his husbanf. MR. ratburn sighed. "Ok children lets begin our arithmatic lesson. today we will learn multiplication." Binky shouted "YOU LIKE TO KISS MEN ON THE LIPS!" and everyone laughed. "AND YOU THINK THERE HOT!" buster commented which made the class laugh even harder. Mr Ratburn groaned and said "this is inapproprite behavor students lets resume learning" "now the way you solve two digits multiplication problems is first you starn in the ones column and..." ratburm was interrupted by arthur pulling down ratburns trousers, exposing his underwear which had patterns of ratburn kissing hsi husband. THe entire classroom exploded with laughter. "It's a scientific fact that this is the most hilarious thing on this planet" said brain like the big nerd he is.
Mr ratburn was furious, his face red with fury. He yelled the loudest angriest scream youve ever heard in your life and ripped off Arthur's head. Hyperrelistic blood geyserd out of his neck onto the linoleum floor. I officially soiled my trousers this was the scariest thing i've ever seen! Ratburn ate arthurs glasses. Buster tried escaping but it was no use. Ratburn picked buster up by the ears and swung him around his head like a mace and hurled him out the window where buster blasted off into the air and got hit by an airplane and died immediately, spilling his guts about the winshield. The pilot was so surprised by this he crashed the plane through the roof of the school crushing Binky, spilling his organs like an all you can eat buffet for cannibals. "Now then Brain" said Ratburn "answer this for me. how many seconds do you have left to live?" Before brain could say anything ratburn grabbed a sharp butcher knive and gave brain a lobotomy. He then served the third garde class the brain for lunch disguising it as meatloaf surprise. You cannot even comprehend how much feces where hibernating in my pants at this point.
Mr Ratburn skipped gleefully down the road whistling "pumped up kicks" satisfied with his kill count. The episode ended with russian text translating to "we are born to suffer. suffer you shall"
I called the president of PBS studios inquiring about the episode, but there was just deep breathing on the other line. before i could say "holy shit mr ratburn is coming out of phone and wants to stab me!" that's exactly what happened. Now i'm dead and im telling 5this story beyond the grave. Be warned my friends, do not watch this episode. You'll regret it.
Written by TheMasterofChillsandThrills
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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