Ashens.exe

So, once upon a time I was browsing YouTube looking for some videos when all of a sudden a video popped up with the name of "POP Station Watch 666: You Shouldn't Have Done That | Satans". Weird. What YouTuber would have the name Satans? But when I pressed play Ashens's title screen started playing! Ashens is my favorite YouTuber. He reviews all sorts of video game console and knock off ones too. One weird thing was that when he normally said "Hello!" in the title screen the screen turned really dark and he said "Die!" in a really demonic voice and the text changed from "Ashens.com" to "Satans.exe". So when the show actually started it didn't take place on the couch like most of his POP Station Watches, and instead it took place in a graveyard. I passed it off as some halloween episode and continued watching. So the video started with Ashens crying a lot behind the camera with a bunch of POP Stations piled up next to a coffin and an open grave. I waited for 10 minutes for something to happen and then Ashens started shoveling the POP Stations into the coffin and then closed the coffin and tossed it into the grave. Then the video ended and a link popped up that said "Ashens.exe". I clicked the link and I was impaled with a POP Station with a note attached to it. This is what the note read:

Babby McSchnotzeltun,

I can't take it anymore, I had to get rid of this thing somehow before it was too late, and I was hoping you'd do it for me. I can't do it, she's after me, and if you don't destroy this POP Station, she'll come after you too, she's too excellent for me....

Please Babby, destroy this god-forsaken PSP-ripoff before she comes after you too, it's too late for me.

Destroy the station, and you'll destroy her, but do it quick otherwise she'll catch you. Don't even play the game, it's what she wants, just destroy it.

Please...

Ashens

I'd do anything to help my fav YouTuber out, but it looked so awesome, with its colour 3D display and all that... I had to see what it is! So I turned it on and the same title screen from before but it took place at the couch and Ashens was acting normal! He was showing off the box for his POP Station. It was just a black box with "POP Station" written on all the sides in blood. Then, whimpering, he carefully opened it up and inside was a POP Station just like the one I'm watching it with... It's a POParadox! So he started up the POP Station and the Super Mario Bros theme started playing but it was played on a burning accordion in hell. But it wasn't Super Mario Bros! It was Super Mary! The map was just a blank space with lots of platforms and no enemies. It was really spooky! It seemed to go on forever, but all of a sudden Super Mary flew offscreen and died for some reason! I passed it off as a glitch, but then Mary popped out of the POP Station's screen and ripped off her arms and legs and hit Ashens with them! Then, after she was done slapping Ashens, she crawled to the camera and tried to hit me! I thought I turned it off and chucked it across the room but I only turned off the backlight and it was still on! Mary struggled and then jumped out of the POP Station and lunged at me in a cubical fashion and slapped me with her arms and legs! I woke up the next day in the hospital and Super Mary was there and she knocked my head off with her arm.

After that, I'm never watching Ashens ever again.

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