Asterixxx and Obelixxx
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NSFW WARNING
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I wanted to buy books and I saw Asterix comics. They were all 1 cent. I bought all and it's name was Asterixxx and Obelixxx. I was confused, but I thought that it was just a printing glitch.
When I opened it, I noticed that the text was blood red and the pictures were 3d and in much higher quality. I thought that they just used higher technology and used another drawing style.
Asterix and Obelix went to Getafix to get their magic potion. He said: "I'm missing one ingredient for the xxx potion. You already know what to do." They went to the romans and Asterix shot all but one. Obelix took him and ripped his genitals out. Then he ripped apart his body at his legs and crushed his skull. They went back to the village and Asterix gave Getafix the genitals and the crushed brain of the roman.
He put it in his pot and the potion turned blood red. Asterix and Obelix drank the potion and they turned to giant purple PATRIXXX versions of themself.
Miraculix said "Now you became Asterixxx and Obelixxx again, do this task: I'm tired of the romans. Kill them all. They went to Rome and crushed people by throwing houses at them. Caesar went to them and said "Why the fuck are you doing this?" They took out his intestine and whipped him with it. His skin and bones ripped and he became a bloody mess. Asterixxx and Obelixxx ate his corpse and build a nuke. They nuked the roman empire with it. But the nuke sounded like it had no reason.
I was terrified. But I thought it was just a minor glitch. Could this comic be the work of... the Illuminati?
I googled if that really happened. But I found a card... and the area of the former roman empire was just... missing. There was no wasteland or black area. The bulk of Europa was just... missing. Everything was gone. Italia, Germany, almost everything. Even the pope! I searched in google the word "pope" and got 0 results. All these things never existed, I just hallucinated them. Or did I?
Then EVIL PATRIXXX appeared through my window. "I was the pope all along! 1 cent is not enough for my comics!"
Written by Ichwillpopcorn
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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