Barney.exe

I never wanted to tell you this story, butt fuck it, I'm going to anyway.

So one day I went to Grainge- generic videogame shop. I went there because I was watching some PewPieDie and saw him playing a videogame. I'm not going to tell you what that game was because they refused to sponsor me.

So anyway, I went to "I Don't Want To Sponsor You" Games, And asked if they had the game I wanted.

They didn't.

"We don't have that Sonic.exe game you were looking for." The man said.

"Fuck you ya stupid prick, I'm not sponsored by that JC cunt. Why would you tell everyone the game I was looking for?!"

So basically me and this guy had a fight and I broke his neck with some stupid book called the Quran, what kind of shit book has a name like Quran. Fucking infidels don't know a thing about what you should call a fictional storybook.

Anyhousel, I took the man's wallet and all he had was £2.50 and a game cartridge with red permanent marker on it that said "Barney.exe."

I rushed home and shoveled the cartridge into my generic console-once again, they didn't sponsor me (cunts.)

As the Xbox logo appeared I noticed something strange. The logo was perfectly normal, nothing strange happened at all.

On the homescreen the caption said "Spiel Ultimate Tournament."

I knew for a fact that that meant Barney.exe in German.

So naturally, after just witnessing such an unusual phenomenon like this, I turned off my phone, closed all the curtains and locked all the windows and doors. Just to make sure there was no possible chance of escape if anything supernatural did happen, which, as I have read ahead, know will happen. God I'm a fucking idiot.

The game started normally, and despite the fact I have never played it before, I knew this for a fact. However, for a split second, as the human eye is able to clearly create a visual representation of an image you see for this short period of time, despite the fact that I was paying no attention to this and only 1% of what goes on in your surroundings goes into STM from Sensory Store, and only 20-25% of that gets transferred to LTM, despite the fact that I rehearsed none of this and so it would be impossible for me to be able to recall any of this information at this given point of time, Unless the The Atkinson–Shiffrin model is incorrect(?!)

But ignore all of that, what I saw was the most disturbing thing ever.

Children having fun.

This horrific image made me want to commit an act of mass genocide. But ignore all of that. Seriously. IGNORE IT.

So I turned of my console out of pure disgust and closed my eyes. The distorted visage of a once lost friend, who was very dear to me, appeared before me. I was scared shitless.

I ran into my attic and fell over. I stood up. And after regaining me balance, I could hear a strange song. It was one that I remembered had terrified me as a child. I suddenly began to see something, something made from the recollection of all my childhood memories, both the good and the bad. Man was I an ugly kid.

I searched behind the door, I searched atop the old oak floor, and then I found it, Barney the big blue dinosaur.

I must have scared Barney as he jumped at the sight of me and ran away. On the way out I noticed something fell out of his pocket. In red permanent marker, the words "Barney.wlmp" were crudely scribbled onto the cassette.

Update

It is only at this point in time that I realise the truth. It has been four days since I had found that cassette and I have only just realised the truth. Both the cartridge I stole from the man and the one that fell off of Barney had Barney written on them. I turned on my computer and smacked one of the disks into the disk tray. I noticed that only half an image was appearing on screen at a time. I found this odd so I took the disk out of the tray and plopped in the other one. I once again noticed that only half an image had appeared onscreen, however instead of having a solid black background like the first video, this one was green.

Due to the odd nature of this event, I downloaded the video onto my PC and did the same for the other. I opened Sony Vegas and uploaded both the videos. After rendering the video I uploaded it to YouTube. I chose not to watch the video, as I'm not a dumbass, and so I cannot tell you what happened. However, If you wish to watch the video, I have called it 'You on kazoo! Lost Episode'.

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