Big Rigs: Over the Road Dying
This is a story all about how my life got fucked up so bad. And I would like to take a minute just shit right there, I'll tell you all about my experiences with a haunted version of an extremely shitty game.
You see: I'm just your average asshole living with his mom with no job or any form of life. I would trouble you with a whole story about how I came across a video game in some store or a dumpster or just sitting randomly on a sidewalk but I figure that I wasted enough of your time by you even reading this. You see: recently I purchased a copy of a game known as Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing. I bought it because it seemed to me like a decent racing game with trucks. However I was proved wrong when I took it home and began playing. The truck I was playing with could drive through anything, it went through a bridge, one of the stages didn't even work. As if it would have made any difference because all of the stages were the same anyway. The only thing I could sort of hit was a downed helicopter. The reverse somehow went faster than it would if I were driving forward and the game was so bad they actually let you escape it by simply continuing driving in one direction and eventually you're in the middle of nowhere. The computer opponent truck that I was meant to be racing wouldn't even move and no matter what I always won the race with a notification when I finish saying "YOU'RE WINNER".
I left for a minute to get some vodka because I thought that it would make the game more appealing. I decided to play a drinking game with it. For every glitch of some sort that I encountered I took a drink.
I got alcohol poisoning that night.
The next day I returned to the game and noticed that something was off. The truck I was driving was hyper realistic and all of the buildings were on fire. The computer opponent truck was in a wreck in the field next to the road with a poorly-textured dead body lying next to it. The game got pretty strange so I decided to turn it off, return it and get my money back. Now I can buy more vodka. Hurray. Happy ending for everybody. Moral of story is do not buy Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing or else you get pissed because you wasted many moneys. At least I always won while playing Big Rigs. I miss Big Rigs. Game of the year. Also I wouldn't turn around if I were you because it will really piss off the thing behind you.
Now I believe it's time for you to go get a life. Unless the thing behind you does something to end that.
And just one more thing.
Smoke weed erryday.
Written by Panda Express
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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