Long ago, on an island that is isolated from the rest of the world... in the capital, there was a man named Jacob Johnson. He was deemed mentally unstable, but safe for the public. He was deemed unstable because he simply would not eat his vegetables. He said that if he ate them, he would be hurting the plants. He was just seen as the village idiot until he started trying to push his twisted morals on everyone else. After that, he was just seen as an "Uber Bigot Jerkface." This was a big problem, as it made nobody want to come to the capital. Because of the Government's ability to give out cruel and unusual punishments, they sent him logging. The only problem is that his favorite plants were trees.
When he got to the logging camp on the first day, he just could not bring himself to swing his axe even once. Because of this, Logan Lachlan, the head logger would yell things like "It is ironic your last name is Johnson, because you don't have enough balls to take a swing!" At the end of the day, Lachlan decided to punish Jacob by making him sleep in the log cabin with cotton sheets on his bed. This would only be the first of his problems.
That night, he had a nightmare that nobody in his state could ever forget. The trees were trying to have a conversation with him, but Logan would not have it. Suddenly, Jacob was having an out of body experience, mindlessly swinging as quickly and forcefully as possible, making the trees cry in pain. Suddenly, a trickle of a clear-brown, chunky substance started to ooze out of the tree. It was blood. Blood of what used to be his friends. After the trees he chopped down were loaded into a truck bed, he heard the trees screaming for help. The truck backed up to a cliff, where they were all dumped into a giant paper shredder. The blood was drained into a vat, straining all the liquid, separating it from the chunks. The chunks were made into PAPER. The blood was dumped into a refinery, and made into... *Gasp* MAPLE SYRUP!!!!!!!
He woke up in a cold sweat. He could not take it anymore... The next day, he brutally murdered Logan Lachlan with his axe. Jacob Johnson was moved to an asylum, where he was deemed unsafe. The psychologists saw him as a threat, and he needed to eat his vegetables to neutralize the threat. They fed him only vegetables, which at first he refused to eat. Later, he ate all of the vegetables. They had become the enemy. They were the only things standing in the way of his survival.
He was eventually let out, and he looked at a tree. He then looked at his hand. He was holding broccoli. He looked back at the tree. He looked back at his hand. He tossed the broccoli, and started eating the tree. He ate the entire tree, and grew enormous. He started eating trees like they were nothing. He crunched the bark with great delight. Once the governor heard of this, he thought it was a practical joke. However, he then saw a giant hand crash into the ceiling. Jacob Johnson looked at the governor and smiled. "I ate my vegetables..." he said with delight. "Now it's time for the main course!" Suddenly, he picked up the building and swallowed it whole with everyone inside it. The military of the island was helpless.
He ate everything on the island, except for one thing, a particularly large tree. He sat down, and pondered eating it. The tree then turned toward him. Jacob thought his mind was playing tricks on him. The tree spoke with a nervous voice "Brother, we used to be friends. They have made you into a monster. You can kill humans without thinking, but now trees? We were your favorites!" Suddenly Jacob pulled up the tree, and told it "I'm hungry. Goodbye my friend." After eating the tree, he realized what he had done, and drowned himself in the ocean.
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