Bob the Sponge

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I'm sure you all remember the pilot episode of Spongebob Squarepants, "Help Wanted". What most people don't know however, is that there was an earlier episode entitled "Bob the Sponge" dating back to 1998. I, or rather my niece, stumbled a cross a page on the Nickelodeon website asking for my details to join some sort of Spongebob Squarpants fanclub which I hesitantly signed up for. A few days later a Spongebob box set arrived at my house by courier, along with a single VHS with the label "Bob the Sponge, 1998".

It started with a black screen. The music was pretty unnerving, it sounded like a slowed down Ukelele tune being played backwards, and it was continuously looping throughout the episode. After about 20 seconds, a still image of Tom Kenny dressed as Patchy the Pirate sitting in an oversized bathtub appeared, staying for exactly six seconds followed by a title card reading "Bob the Sponge" in a plain font. Then the episode began. It was basically Spongebob, or "Bob the Sponge", going around Bikini bottom visiting his friends, only there were no voices despite the characters moving their mouths. This Bikini Bottom however, was really different from the one you are accustomed to, some of the major differences being:

Sandy: She had no underwater gear, and her house was a log cabin, not the Tree dome seen on later episodes.

Mr Krabs: He is seen with a female crab who may be his wife, or an early version of Pearl.

Squidward: His house is a windmill as opposed to the Easter Island head seen on the rest of the series, also, his house has changed places with Patrick's house.

Plankton: He seems to be the same size as the other characters, his body is red and he has only one antennae stick out the top of his head.

Nothing unusual seemed to happen in the episode until the end. Spongebob was standing in the middle of nowhere looking up to the sky and laughing. The screen then panned up to show just what he was laughing at, Sandy's drowned corpse, floating on the waters surface. Her body just bobbed in the water for about ten seconds, after which the episode began playing backwards until it got back to the live action still of Patchy.

The title card appeared again, this time the font was nearly illegible, like it was handwritten. The episode started playing again though there was no buildings or anything, just characters interacting on a bright green background. This time when the characters opened their mouths to talk, garbled sounds came out though I couldn't understand them. The episode played through like that until it got to the image of Sandy's dead body. The episode began playing backwards again and this time when it got to the image of Patchy the Pirate, he got up and started screaming real loudly, and thrashing his limbs while his bloodshot eyes darted frantically.

The episode started again, with the same handwritten title card, the sounds of Tom Kenny screaming and splashing still present. This time there were just coloured blurs moving around a black background making really unsettling gargling noises. It played like this until it got to Sandys dead corpse however this time it cut straight to Patchy the Pirate who simply said something. But it was in garbled sound. I can hear what he said because he was shouting. He said "Hey kids, stay tuned for Help Wanted" before cutting to seven minutes of static.

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