Bubble Gum

Two friends, Matthew and Randell, are walking through a neighborhood. Randell is chewing some bubble gum.

"You're chewing ridiculously loud," Matthew says.

Randell rolls his eyes.

"I don't think you're the one to judge how loud I chew my bubble gum," he says.

Matthew looks around nervously.

"Your chewing could be loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood up!"

Randell chuckles.

"I chew like this all the time, I think I know what I'm doing."

The two friends laugh together.

The subject of their discussion suddenly changes.

"So. Randell, we're good friends, right?" Matthew asks.

Randell nods.

"But of course," he says.

Matthew has a worried look on his face.

"And, um," Matthew clears his throat. "Good friends can always find a way to forgive each other, right?"

Randell nods once again.

Matthew swallows hard.

"Well it's just like, I sort of, you know, hit on your girlfriend a few days ago, and the guilt is killing me."

Randell smiles a little bit.

Matthew continues.

"Listen Randell. I'm really sorry. But come on, she's really beautiful! You gotta understand!"

Randell starts chuckling a little bit.

"Aww Matthew. You didn't have to tell me that. I already knew!"

Matthew sighs in relief.

"You did?"

"Yes, and that's exactly why I brought you out here." Randell explains.

Matthew is confused. But just then, Randell starts chewing his bubble gum like crazy, and very loudly. All the doors to the houses in the neighborhood open up, and out come people with horrendous mutilated faces. They start grabbing Matthew by the arms.

Matthew is horrified. He's too afraid to even scream.

"Randell!" he chokes. "What's going on?"

Matthew begins to scream very loudly as the people start ripping off his arms and dismembering his entire body.

Randell spits his gum out.

"That's for messing with my girlfriend, douchebag!"

---

Credited to MoMo6

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