Caillou Shittypasta

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This is a parody of terrible creepypastas. None of this is real to the slightest



It was another average day at my apartment. Nothing too exciting was happening, and all I was doing was sitting on my bed, watching Hulu. And suddenly, I heard a knock on the living room door. I got off my bed, went to the living room and opened the door. However, nobody was there. just a box from Craigslist. and I was pretty damn sure I didn't order anything from the past few weeks or so. However, I was skeptical and I wanted to know what was inside. Inside the box was a DVD disc with the name "Caillou SMACK DAB HOUR." It was pretty dusty and the name was written with a black sharpie. As someone who used to watch Caillou a lot as a little girl, I kind of wanted to watch this for myself. And so, I got out my DVD player and put it in. After putting the DVD in came the menu screen. It seemed pretty basic and the background was a scene from the show. After selecting the play button the intro plays. However in some parts it started glitching a little bit. Nothing to worry about, It might've been my DVD player or the Disc itself. Now on to the actual episode. The title card had an unusual scene in the episode. Boris looking at his wife wile Doris is packing her clothes in her room. Suddenly the narrator starts talking, however, instead of an elderly woman narrating the episode, an elderly man is doing it instead. He only says the name of the episode "Mommy leaves Daddy" before it fades to black.

The first scene showed Caillou, 5 years old and now in kindergarten, playing with his toy family set. As he said to himself, "This is the daddy," as he put the plastic figure in the pretend bedroom. "This is the mommy,"  putting the second plastic figure in the pretend living room . "This is the brother," as he puts the figure in the kitchen "This is the sister, and there's the cat" as he puts the last 2 figures the other bedroom. So far, almost everything seemed fine and dandy. Until the very next scene. Boris and Doris are in the kitchen having breakfast. Boris says to his wife. "Y'know Doris, I think we've been spoiling Caillou and Rosie for a little bit too long." Doris replied. "I just don't want to be too hard on them, they are 5 and 3 after all." "That's the point, honey! You're not showing any discipline for them! At least scold them when they misbehave!" At this moment you can already tell that Doris is fed up with her husbands bullshit. "WELL MAYBE I DON'T HAVE TO!" Doris yelled as she had tears in her eyes. Doris ran upstairs into her room to pack up her things to leave. As she did, Boris went into her room and softly said "Doris I-"Doris interrupted. "WE NEED TO BE ALONE FOR ONCE BORIS!" Doris started sobbing. It was surprisingly realistic. Boris went into Caillou's room to tell him what was actually going on. "Caillou, go get your sister and you two come downstairs..." he said in a more serious voice. As soon as Caillou and Rosie got downstairs and Boris actually told him what was going on.

"Caillou, Rosie, Mommy and I are getting a divorce." Caillou questioned, being the impressionable young child he is. "What's a divorce, Daddy?" "Well, Caillou. To keep it simple, when a mommy and daddy don't like each other anymore, the mommy leaves the daddy behind with his daughter and son." "But who's leaving?" Caillou replied. "I'm afraid Mommy is..." said Boris. "But Rosie don't want mommy to leave!" Rosie exclaimed. "She'll still love you, She just won't love me anymore..." Replied Boris in a depressed tone. Boris went back to his room while Doris came downstairs to say goodbye to Caillou, Rosie, and Gilbert. "You two be good for Daddy while I'm away, okay?" Doris said to both of them. "Okay Mommy." She said she loved them and kissed them on their foreheads. While Gilbert came up to Doris and purred. Doris giggled, "I'll miss you too, Gilbert." And with her stuff in a luggage, she closed the front door and the episode ends.

I am surprised that a show like Caillou would handle topics like divorce. And seeing an impressionable child like Caillou deal with a topic like that is just amazingly dark.

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