Call of Duty: Ghosts Ghosts

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I'm horrified.

Let me get something straight. I am in NO way a fan of the Call of Duty franchise. I find myself to be very anti-Activision in general. However, after YEARS of nagging and moaning from my "friends", I eventually gave in and bought the newest annual addition to the Call of Duty franchise. Call of Duty: Ghosts.

The following is a true story.

The Happening

Sitting in that line in Gamestop had to be one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. At this point in time, I was no better than any of the dudebros and children that I make fun of on a daily basis. I absolutely despised Gamestop. My feet hurt. Everyone was too loud. I'd just wish I was back at home playing videoga-

"Do you have a Power-Up Rewards card with you today?"

I jumped at the cashier's sudden burst of speech. I didn't know what to say to him. My brain just stopped working altogether. I needed to put my shit together. I was sick of being "That Weird Antisocial Guy". I handed him the display case of the new Call of Duty game, and spoke in the most confident manner I could possibly muster.

"Y-You too."


We finished our transaction. The man gave me the game wrapped in a bag. "Hey! Enjoy your game," the gleeful Gamestop employee said. "I hear it's awesome!" I thought to myself, "It damn well better be."

I got in my car and began the drive home.

Later That Day

I held off on playing the game at first. As soon as I walked in the front door, I threw my keys and the game on my kitchen counter. I needed to take a shower. I knew though, no amount of soap would be able to cleanse the stench of Gamestop from my body. You can't blame a man for trying though. By the time I'd decided to actually try the game, It was around 7PM. I lived in a high-class gated community, and most of the residents were asleep by now. It was the perfect time to play games. I dusted off my Xbox. I barely touched the thing anymore. PC-Gaming is more my cup of tea nowadays.

I went over to my counter and picked up the Gamestop bag. Bringing it over to the living-room, I actually wondered how much the game would differ from previous entries in the series. Which, by the way, I hate. The box was wrapped in plastic. I needed some sort of knife to open it up. Before I went and got one from the kitchen, I looked at the cover of the game. Yup. Just as I expected. Activision/Infinity Ward's "seal of quality" on the front. I shuddered, thinking about all of the Activision Shills preforming viral marketing on many of the sites I frequent.

I came back from the kitchen with a small knife. I got ready to slice the SHIT out of the plastic, but noticed something odd... I could have sworn the Activision and Infinity Ward logos on the box were noticeably bigger than they were when I was looking at the box before. At first I thought I was just being crazy... Until I blinked. Again, the logos on the front doubled in size. The more I blinked, the more the logos grew.

"Wow," I thought. "Activision is going all-out with these marketing tactics."

I cut through the plastic wrapping, and held the game the game in my hands. I mumbled the title to myself. "Call of Duty: Ghosts" Nothing would prepare me for what happened next.

I opened the game, and I SHIT-YOU-NOT ACTUAL GHOSTS CAME OUT.THEY WERE FLYING EVERYWHERE, IT WAS SCARY AS HELL. It was weird though. One of the ghosts went to my computer and started playing Farmville. Another one turned on my iPad and started playing Angry Birds.

Then I realized.

These weren't normal ghosts.

These were casual ghosts.

Thanks Gamestop. I can't believe they would do this to me.

I tried convincing the ghosts to play better games, like Dark Souls or Wonderful 101. They just wouldn't listen to me.

To this day, they're still in my house.

All I have to say is that Call of Duty: Ghosts™ is 10/10 game of all years.

Activision™ is the greatest dev of all time.

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