Chuck Norris Vs. Slenderman

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Art by ringelotta on DeviantArt



"Come here!"

The scared boy pointed straight at the dark forest.

"I bet you, that if you can survive in there for 1 week, then you can skin me alive a-"

"And if I lose, I have to wear a bikini!"

"Oh, wow."

"Mark my words Matt, I will survive there."

"If you say so."

"I'm Chuck Norris! I can do anything!"

"Yeah right."

"Come on, if your so sure that I won't make it for one week then how come your sa-"

"Face it, Chuck. No one has survived in there."

"Who do you think I am? Some random Joe!"

" I guess not..."

"Well, I'm going in there, and I'll win!"

"Good luck."

"Good luck?"

"Oh yeah! You can't have any suplies to survive."

"Sounds fair enough."


By saying this, Chuck Norris walked into the dark, forest. He ignored the sign that had a skull and cross bow on it and walked straight into a tree.

"Dang it!" Chuck shouted.

He kept on walking, until he saw a note pinned on one of the trees.

'No eyes, always watching' it read.

"Huh, that's odd. I've never seen some idiot put papers on trees." Chuck Norris said.

He kept on walking, and found another note.

'Beware' it read.


Chuck left the notes there, incase they were someone's.

Well they were.

Chuck Norris continued walking, before he heard a stream nearby.

"Beautiful." Chuck said.


He then saw another note.

"Why do these Goddarn notes keep popping up!?"

He took it off the tree and looked at it.

This time, it read:

'Run for your lives'

Chuck was odded out.

"People these days." he muttered.

Then, by the stream he heard the rustle of a bush.

"WHO'S THERE?" Chuck Norris shouted as he aimed a gun at the bush.


Nothing popped out.

Was Chuck Norris going crazy? Was he losing his mind? He could explain what was going on. It wasn't normal.

It was paranormal.

Chcuk Norris continued to stare into the bush, his gun aimed. He stood there for quiet a while, until he realized it was getting near night.

"Better break some trees." Chuck Norris said briefly.

Then, he saw another note. He didn't even stop and read it, he just walked passed, oddified. 

"Man!" Chuck Norris said "Why do these stupid notes keep popping up? Is there a reason?"

"You better believe there's a reason." a voice said from behind Chuck Norris.

There was a thing standing behind Chuck.

He or 'it' was a tall, thin, and wore a business suit. He had no face, nor any hair.

"Who in God's sake are you?" Chuck Norris said rather rudely.

"Slenderman..." the thing said.

"Slender what?"


"You don't even want to dare calling me a fool!" Chuck Norris said, furious. "I am thee Chuck Norris!"

"Are you famous or something?" Slenderman joked.

"DON'T YOU DARE MAKE FUN OF ME!" Chcuk Norris said.

"Who are you? Justin Beiber?" Slenderman smirked.


Chuck Norris shouted that so loud that the whole forest shook with fear.

"Doesn't make any difference to me." Slenderman said.

Chuck Norris was about to burst.

Instead he lunged at Slenderman.

"HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME!!!" Chuck Norris screamed.

He tried strangling Slenderman, but Slenderman grabed Chuck Norris and threw him against a tree.

Chuck Norris fell down, and looked up at Slenderman.

Slenderman was all ready holding a rock. He threw it at Chuck Norris. The rock exploded from impact after hitting Chuck Norris in the side of his all-ready roughened up head.

"You no good fiend!" Slenderman said.

"You're the fiend!" Chuck Norris said, angrified.

He punched Slenderman, before pulling out his gun.

"Say your prayers!" he beamed at Slenderman.

"It should be YOU who says the prayers!" Slenderman back-talked.

Chuck pulled the trigger and let out open fire, and Slenderman wobbled back.

Blood splattered from Slenderman as he got shot. Slenderman grabbed Chuck Norris around the waste, and Chuck Norris got his knife and slashed at Slenderman's tentacles.

Blood splattered deep from inside, and Slenderman howled in agony.

"OUCH!!!" belowed Slenderman.

"Yep." Chuck Norris said.

"That's the point!"

Slenderman threw Chuck Norris against a tree, but it didn't make any difference. 

Chuck Norris shot Slenderman in the head, but Slenderman didn't budge.

"I'm Chuck Norris!" Slenderman said.

"WHAT! NO YOUR NOT!" Chuck Norris yelled.

"YES! I AM!" Slenderman said.

"NO YOUR NOT!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh yes I am!"

Chuck Norris was as red as a cherry.

"I am Chuck Norris!" Slenderman said once again.

"NO! YOUR! NOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!" Chuck Norris screamed with all his might.

"THAT TEARS IT!!!!" Chuck Norris yelled with even more of his strength.

Chuck Norris realized that he wasn't going to go easy on Slenderman anymore.

He stabbed Slenderman, and ripped out his heart. He tore out his entrails and ripped the flesh off and ate it. After that, Slenderman was no more than a pile of bones.

"I AM CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!" Screamed Chuck.

Chuck had won! He won! He did a victory dance and ran out of the woods to see Matt.

"You survived?" Matt said in astonishment.

"Yep!" Chuck Norris said. 

"Well, skin me alive then."

"Oh no." Chuck surprisingly said. "I feel like wearing a bikini."

"What?" Matt said.

"Nothing." Chuck Norris said.


"That's what I thought you said."

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