Civilization 5: Haunted Edition
Once upon a time, I went to my local flea market to look for Pokémon Blue and some condoms. I walked passed a booth that smelled like wet dog and shit, and there was an old man selling gameboy games. I was like "Cool, do you have Pokemon Blue?" and he said "YA WE DO! SAY, DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CIVILIZATION GAME, THEY'RE FREE!" I said, "No, I have it on steam", and then he shoved the 2 games in my face and closed his curtain. When I checked back there, there was a skelton with a hat just like the old man was wearing. I was like "Cool, free hat." I took it and left. Several hours later, I put the disc into my computer and started the game. After it wiped my computer several times, I had to install Windows 95 again. When the game started it said "Civilization 5:EVIL EDITION" on the title screen. I was like "Cool, a game with North Korea as a playable civilization." so I tried to set up a game, but it just jumped to the loading screen. When the game started, I was playing as China, and the whole map was there, and what I saw was scary. There were 24 civilizations, and all of them where India, and all of them had nukes. 1 turn later, I got hit by about 37 warheads, and 18 civilizations asked for peace, just to nuke me again the next turn. Then, Gandhi had hyper realistic red eyes and said "Fuck you, im a Patrixxx, and he morphed into EVIL PATRIXXX. All of the Gandhis turned into EVIL PATRIXXX and upgraded their nuked into gore bombs. I was bombarded by them for 25 hours, but I didn't notice until the end because I was playing Pokémon Blue. Then the game said I lost, so I got pissed and punched my computer so hard a skeleton popped out. The End!
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