Claudio

Claudio was a fat bastard. But not a typical fat bastard. He was THE fat bastard. A title he holds proudly. Claudio went to a school for fat bastards, appropriately named "The School for Fat Bastards". Fat bastards roamed the area, eating all the food and producing more bastard children. Claudio, despite being in a community with the same people, was different. He was picked on, tormented, teased, slapped, spit on, wedgied, and given purple nurples. One day, Claudio snapped like a #2 pencil. He grabbed Larry Humphries by the neck and devoured his face, whole.

Claudio would not stop there.

He went through the school eating everyone in site, Harry Linguini, Dick Toucher, Samantha Piglet, Ulysses S. Ungrant, Winston Churchonthehill, and John Weena.

Michael DaVinchi Code was called into effect. The CISASAJISAISJAIS was called into action. They put the school on lockdown. Over 100 reported fatalities.

Sgt. Fandango Dinger Danger Donger led the assault on Claudio. He shot the fat bastard in the ass with a BB gun. Claudio was slain. Sgt. Fandango Diner Danger Donger then died suddenly and the voice of Claudio echoed throughout the school "FAT BASTARDS ALWAYS PREVAIL".

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Written by Zmario
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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