Cliché.exe

I know you probably won't believe me, but I swear this is a true story. It happened to me, and I still find it hard to believe. This is my personal experience of what can only be described as Cliché.exe.

I make videos on YouTube about all kinds of scary video game aspects. It could be strange easter eggs, scary locations, frightening moments, or even creepypastas.

I would have never dreamed that I would be experiencing one myself. A lot of my viewers send in suggestions and games that they want me to review.

I had no reason to think that there was anything weird about this one. It was just your typical day, nothing out of the ordinary.

I received a strange package with my name on it. There was no return address, no other name, nothing. After opening, I found two bootleg discs. The first I found only had three letters written on it with a black marker. Those letters were LSD.

It was none other than the Japanese cult classic "LSD Dream Emulator". I even did an episode on it. All before even glancing at the second disc. I almost wish I never had.

The other disc sat there on my desk, on it, again written in black marker were the words "Cliché.exe". Through my years of research, I'd heard about this before. It was supposed to be a collection of the most ridiculous video game creepypasta tropes ever known to man. NO ONE COULD HANDLE THAT KIND OF HELL!

Strange things slowly began to happen.

I heard voices throughout my house. They started as whispers, and at times sounding like cries of pain (someone must have been playing Superman 64). Footsteps could be heard. Objects began moving on their own. You might call me crazy, but I swear I heard what sounded like a Kefka laugh from Final Fantasy.

My electronics acted like they had a mind of their own. Things would wind up missing, and later reappearing.

A strange shadowy figure would show up at times, just out of nowhere!

All weird things aside, I think I handled it pretty well.

I still could not bear to even open the Cliché.exe disc. But I couldn't help but feel that the game was calling out to me. It wanted me to play it. Even though I knew better, especially considering most people in creepypastas die a horrible death, I still decided to play the game. Once I opened up the disc, I found a bunch of other well-known creepypastas that I had already reviewed. There was BEN DROWNED, The Tails Doll Curse, Sonic.exe, as well as the MARIO creepypasta. I didn't see anything new. So I just went about my day.

While working on a new episode of my YouTube series, the shadow figure again appeared to me. We caught up on old times, before he finally delivered onto me, a letter. Adding to the mysteries there was no name on the letter, whatsoever. Growing tired of these odd occurrences, I read it immediately.

It said:

"Dear Mike, I am sorry I have to be such a bad friend, and send these discs to you, but I can no longer carry their burdens. LSD's not so bad, but whatever you do, do not open Cliché.exe. It was the worst mistake I'd made. I went to GameStop recently. For some reason, there was an old, half-blind Asian man behind the counter. He claimed he was the only one working there that day. It got weirder when he insisted that I take the Cliché.exe disc, free of charge. I didn't even ask for it. He screamed at the top of his lungs telling me that I must take it. It was even stranger considering he was yelling at the used Xbox games, but I guess he was half-blind, after all. I took it home, played it, and instantly regretted it. I sent the discs to you because, well, I'm a very selfish, shitty friend. After all, you have experience on these dark subjects. If anyone knew what to do with the disc, it'd be you. You claim that you finally opened the disc, and all you found was other cliché creepypastas, but I assure you that you are wrong. You must have missed it. You must look into it, but, whatever you do, please. Do. Not. Play. The. Game. It will literally open up a portal to your worst hell. Good luck to you, Mike. Sorry again for being such a sucky friend."

I again opened the disc, and to my surprise, was a folder marked "MISC". I swear I didn't see it before.

I opened it up, and there it was. An exe program named "Cliche". I followed my better judgement, and played the game. Yeah, I know. I couldn't help it.

I then witnessed one of the most horrific things I had ever seen.

IT WAS E.T. FOR THE ATARI 2600! IT WAS HORRIBLE!!

The gameplay was already bad enough, but then, it was as if the game STARTED TO COME TO LIFE!

It's strange, but I felt like E.T. was trying to communicate with me.

Compelled to keep playing, I forced myself to turn it off.

I tried to go back to work to get my mind off it. That's when it began.

I was finishing a review that I'd been working on at the time, when I began to hear what sounded like a child's laughter.

I know I should have just left, but I couldn't. I had to see what was on the other side of that door.

I opened the door, and before my very eyes was a literal portal to Hell. The letter was right.

Cliché.exe had a strange power behind it. The swirling vortex called out to me, BEGGING ME TO ENTER!!

So, I shut the door.

It had all built up to this moment. Rather than pawning the disc off someone else, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

So, I picked up the disc, took it outside, placed it on a nearby stump, grabbed my chainsaw, and destroyed it. I was so happy. So happy to see the disc gone.

Finally, it was done. All was well. Although, I've gotta admit. After Cliché.exe, I don't think I will ever be the same again.

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