Cliche The Fanfiction

A long time ago, in 2016, the world was a different place, Donald Trump wasn't president, Brexit didn't happen and Jeff The Killer OC's were somewhat relevant. Everyone was happy back then, however, that year saw the rise of a certain serial killer, one that is feared throughout the world. His name, was Boi, and this is his "original" back story.

Boi was a 12 year old British lad who was born and raised in Dover. His father got a promotion at work, he was now the head administrator at the Creepypasta Wiki, you probably know him as Lol Skeletons. Anyway, with a new job, also calls for a new start, so Boi's family moved to America illegally and found a place in Detroit.

Boi's mother looked at their new neighbourhood and smiled, "What a gorgeous neighbourhood, we are going to fit in perfectly." Boi stared at the kids in the street, he frowned at the sight of them shooting each other with guns and stabbing each other with knives.

Boi looked up at his mother and said, "This place sucks, I hate it, the kids are violent, there's no free health care and I bet they don't have Fosters!" Boi's mother was angry at his remark so like traditional British parents, they sent Boi up the chimney for 1 hour.

The next day, Boi was getting ready for school, but while he was getting his uniform on, he had this strange feeling, it was no normal feeling, as it gave him a tugging sensation. So he closed and locked the door, went under his bed and opened those special magazines. He dismissed this feeling as a random boner. Afterwards, he went down the stairs to get some breakfast, his mother made him his favourite, bangers and mash with a glass of Carling on the side. He ate his breakfast and drunk his lager and headed off to school.

When he got to school, the teacher asked him to introduce himself to the class. When he finished, the class roared with laughter after some of the students made British stereotype jokes and called him names such as tosser, git, wanker, tea drinker and most offensively, English cracker. Boi got that feeling again, but it was stronger this time, and again, he dismissed it. The teacher gestured the class to quiet down and said to Boi, "Go take your seat, there's a free seat next to those obvious school bullies of this story."

He sat down next to the bullies. One of them nudged the others and said, "Well lads, looks like we got some fresh meat in the class." Boi turned to see a boy with brown hair, blue eyes and an ideal body weight. The bully continued. "Let me introduce ourselves, the lad on my right is named Generic Bully No. 2" Boi looked at the slim kid, he looked tall, slanky and looked exactly like a Slim Jim. "And the kid I'm pointing to is Generic Bully No. 3" Boi looked at the fat kid, Boi thought the kid was like a tub of lard, he looked like the only exercise he got was when he was waiting in line for KFC. "And I'm Generic Bully No. 1. Now, listen here kid, we are the ones you shouldn't mess with, everyone knows that. You do what we say and no one gets hurt. You got that?" Boi nodded, put his head down and started scribbling in his book, not listening to the teacher's lesson.

Generic Bully No. 3 picked up Boi's book and said, "Who's this twat you're drawing?" The twat in question was Boi's secret crush, his love had a white face, black hair, no nose, infected eyes, a large smile, and a white hoodie. Boi took the drawing back and said, "That's Jeff, I love his story, how it's structured, how he kills everyone and the terrible grammar. I hope that someday, I can find him and become his wifu." The bullies jaws dropped at Boi's ridiculous statement. Boi didn't notice that everyone heard him and the class roared with laughter.

During Lunch, Boi was in the toilet, he needed a piss, the three boys walked in, grabbed him, threw him onto the ground, kicked him and called him unoriginal. Boi then got the feeling again, and this time, he couldn't control it. He got up and punched Generic Bully No. 2, which led him to fall onto the ground, Boi continually kicked him which caused Generic Bully No. 1 to rush and aid his friend, but Boi punched him in the face and broke his nose. Generic Bully No. 3 tried to escape and get help but Boi grabbed his collar and slammed him onto the ground. The teacher walked into the bathroom and saw the aftermath of the fight. Boi was then issued detention, Boi was in shock, he was a Mary Sue, they were always perfect and never got detention. Boi was sad.

After school, Boi didn't talk about what happened at school and he went into the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and wished that he could look just like his hero. Then he remembered the story about how Jeff became every fan girls wet dream, all that Boi had to do was cover himself with bleach and light himself on fire. So he looked around to find this so called "thing" of bleach, but he found a bottle of bleach instead. "I guess this will have to do." Said Boi, pouring it onto himself. He then found a box of matches and lit himself on fire. Because bleach is 80% water, it's natural for it to be more flammable than gasoline.

Boi's parents saw him on fire and quickly tried to put the fire out. His father grabbed a bowl, but he forgot it was filled with salt and accident poured it on him. The salt made Boi scream in pain and before he blacked out, he saw his parents trying to put the fire out by stomping on him.

He woke up in hospital a few weeks later, he was covered in bandages and couldn't see a thing. He then heard footsteps coming towards him, it was the clichéd creepypasta doctor. "Hello there young man, you have been in a terrible accident. You have been badly burned which has altered your skin, it has been becoming more common nowadays. However, your bandages are going to be removed shortly so I'll be back in a minute. I've got to go and help someone who's had the bad case of the death."

Boi sat there impatiently, he was scared about his new look but was also excited. He couldn't wait to see it, he is going to look like his idol, Jeff the Killer. The doctor came back a few minutes later and removed the bandages. After the bandages were removed, Boi looked at the doctor and said, "Can you give me a mirror please." The doctor nodded and handed him one. As Boi looked into the cliché he found that he looked like his male fantasy. Boi now had pure white skin, blackened hair, no nose and burnt fish like lips. You know, the face that every girl would shag. Boi's parents came to collect him, got his belongings, paid the hefty hospital bill and went home.

A week passed and Boi was ready to get revenge on the bullies, but he needed an iconic suit to be recognised, so he decided to copy Jeff's look. "Bollocks, I don't have any white hoodies. I've got black dress pants but what can I put on to match this?" He looked around his wardrobe and found a white buttoned up shirt, he thought it went well with the dress pants and put it on, he then found a black blazer and put that on. But he didn't feel complete, so he looked around and found a tie that went well with the shirt. All he needed now was to find something for his head, he reached in his wardrobe and pulled out a top hat and monocle and again, put them on. Boi was now ready for his revenge.

Boi walked into the school with a knife in his pocket, and saw Generic Bullies No. 1, 2 and 3 by the entrance, he couldn't kill them there so he made sure that they would follow him, to the very back of the school. There, he was confronted by the bullies. "Hey there freak, I heard what happened to you. I was worried that I couldn't kick your ass for what you did the other day. Looks like I was wrong." Generic Bully No. 1 snarled, cracking his fists. Boi looked up laughed at him.

"You're the ones who is going to get your asses kicked." And with that, Boi took his cliché out of his pocket and lunged towards Generic Bully No. 1. Boi stabbed him, plunging the knife into his chest, until he stopped breathing. Generic Bully No. 2 and 3 looked at Boi in shock, Boi looked back, smiling.

Generic Bully No. 2 and 3 pulled out their guns (because this is America) and started shooting at Boi. However, Boi was now a teenage killer, which automatically means they're over powered, and was able to dodge the bullets. He rushed towards Generic Bully No. 3 and slit his throat. Now there was just Generic Bully No. 2, Boi walked over to him and said a phrase that made the bully shiver. He said, "Go to sleep. (Because unoriginality)" He stabbed him and Generic Bully No. 2 died. He then wanted to do something with the bodies that would make people fear him, so he opened up their throats and stuffed them with black pudding. Knowing that he would obviously be arrested for this, he fled the scene of the crime, and hid in the woods.

Excerpt from National Enquirer: LOCAL SCHOOLBOYS FOUND DEAD, CAUSED BY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT! HILARY NOT FIT TO BE PRESIDENT? CELEBRITY NUDES INSIDE.

"In Detroit, 3 schoolboys have been found dead behind a school, in addition, a boy named Boi has gone missing after the events. However, witnesses claim that they saw a British looking bloke was running into the woods, police suspect that the murders was caused by Boi and he ran into the woods. Police have dubbed him as the British Killer, as he tends to stuff his victims throats with a British delicacy, black pudding. If you see him, do not approach or try apprehending him, he is dangerous, call the police department instead.

One month after the incident, Boi was wandering in the woods, hoping to find his love. He was giving up hope, until he heard a voice from behind him. "You're looking for me, aren't you? I know so much about you Boi." Boi slowly turned around and saw a figure, he had black long hair, a white face, infected eyes, no nose and a smile cut onto his face, it was Jeff (Because Fanfiction). Boi was speechless, he didn't know what to say. Jeff then leaned closer to Boi and kissed him (because who needs dialogue anyway), Boi blushed and kissed back.

A year later, Jeff and Boi got married and they adopted a baby. They named it Ben and we all know what happened to him... He drowned.

And that concludes the tale of the British Killer. I'm writing this to warn you about him, some claim that he's still out there, killing people with his new found love. So, if you live in America, DON'T TRUST ANY BRITISH PERSON!!! He's here, holding a knife, I should run away but I'm writing this. Ahhhhh! He killed me, but I have to proof read this and make sure my account is verified.

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