Cool Cat Learns about Copyright Law
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NSFW WARNING This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations... Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter. |
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IT'S JUST A JOKE, BRO! The following page may contain outlandish humor regarding certain public figures or companies. The content of this website is purely fictional and satirical; what is presented in this story is false, and should not be taken seriously whatsoever. |
Many years ago, a deranged man named Derek Savage made a video on the subject of Copyright Infringement. In this video, Derek tried to explain the difference between Copyright Infringement and Fair use. In the end, he made himself look like a complete narcissistic asshole. Now that you're caught up, let me get to the reason I'm writing this in the first place.
I was an intern at Derek Savage Studios. It was an interesting internship. I did a lot of things that normal interns wouldn't usually do. Like being told to remove all hate comments from the Cool Cat YouTube channel. I don't agree with what I did, but I needed this internship. I also had to give Derek a bath once. He was crying heavily the whole time. He kept screaming "WHY WON'T HE REMOVE THAT VIDEO, THAT LYING PUNK TROLL!" during that time. Eventually, Derek came up to me to tell me about his new movie idea. It was called Cool Cat Learns about Copyright Law. At the time, this seemed like a dumb idea for a Cool Cat film. Although, now it seems very tame, with the whole Cool Cat Stops a School Shooting thing. Yes, that isn’t something I’m just pulling out of my ass.
A few days later, he fired me. He told me that he knew many more intelligent and hardworking interns he could hire other than me.
I was fucking pissed. So pissed in fact, that I planned on breaking into his house and stealing his Van Halen signed guitar that was autographed back in the 1980s! The next day, I made my way through the front door of his house. It’s always unlocked, as seen in the opening to the first Cool Cat movie. I was tiptoeing through his hallway when I noticed it, a vinyl disc with “Cool Cat Learns about Copyright Law!” written in crayon in the middle of it. I was instantly surprised, how did Daddy Derek finish the film so quickly? I picked it up and tossed it and the Van Halen signed guitar into my pick up truck before speeding off into the night.
Originally, I was just gonna pawn them both on eBay for whatever money I could get for them. But my curiosity grew too much, I had to know what was on that vinyl. I shoved the vinyl into my DVD player and pressed play. After the DVD player made some sickening gagging noises, the movie started.
It started with Cool Cat dancing on a green screen with the title of the movie in comic sans above him. It was very clear that Jason Johnson, the actor who played Cool Cat in the original film, wasn’t in the costume. He was grooving sluggishly and had a rather large beer belly on him. It was quite uncomfortable seeing this but the worst had yet to come. After the intro finished, it cut to the inside of Daddy Derek’s house. Cool Cat was on the computer, he was singing to himself about surfing the web or something. After 18 seconds, he stopped and started shouting about how his movie had been posted on the internet with lies being placed in it. He boogied over to where Derek was in the kitchen and screamed about all the stuff he saw online. Derek responded with a simple but elegant, “Fuck…”
I was flabbergasted! Did Daddy Derek just say the fuck word? At this point, I was just about ready to start crying my eyes out. I can’t handle curse words… It was then I had seen that Mama Cat had walked on to the scene. She started consoling Cool Cat and told him to go up to his room to read a good book and that dumb stuff. The writing for this movie was worse than I thought it would be. When Cool Cat left for his room, Derek and Mama Cat went to the kitchen table and… uh, did stuff. This is the part where I started to become violently ill. I tried playing a tune on the Van Halen signed guitar but that didn’t help at all. The scene went on for so ungodly long. An entire 3 hours of this abomination that shouldn't have been seen by anyone. At the 2 hour, 23 min, 45 second mark, I finally vomited out of sheer disgust. After that scene ended, it cut to Cool Cat back on his computer looking at bad reviews of his movie. He was crying very obnoxiously. Derek, hearing Cool Cat crying, entered his room and asked him what the problem was. Cool Cat told Derek that people were illegally posting lies and hate speech on the internet.
Derek, using his expert knowledge in the field of Copyright Law, striked and removed each and every one of the reviews. Cool Cat boogied in the background while Derek was doing this. Derek then proceeded to go on a 30 minute rant to Cool Cat about how he should never ever ever ever post bad reviews on the internet because nobody wants to hear bad opinions. His words, not mine. Cool Cat then yelled, “EXQUISITE!” I liked it when he did that. It was at that point when my DVD player couldn’t take it anymore and burst into flames. I later found out that vinyls generally don’t play in a DVD player. Who would have thunk it? The vinyl flew out of the thing at extreme speeds, it flung around the room like a twisted buzzsaw accident. It eventually came at me and sliced my head off. I am now writing this in X’s Hell Dimension. Please send help.
Written by Niagaranobs
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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