Crystal.HTML 2
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Hello. My name is SammiModernSonicFan. And people wonder how I got these red marks on my ass. WELL, I'm gonna tell you the story how it all started. On a dark and stormy night, I was happily masturbating to Sonic the Hedgehog hentai (Rouge is hawt), until a hyper realistic ghost emerged in my house. He started flashing red like blood. He was chasing after me until I asked him what he wanted. He just wanted me to sign a contract to sell my fan character to be a sex slave for over 9000 years. And I thought about it for a second..."I'll make so much frickin money". So I said, "Take my fan character ya frickin frick. He's now officially for sale." So we shook hands and happily agreed. I signed the frickin' contract like a frickin' frick and the ghost teleported into my frickin' computer screen. The ghost tied my fan-character, Conic the Hedgehog to a leash and locked him in a cage.
And Sonic 1 started playing for no frickin reason, and Sonic was replaced with Conic. I screamed cause I was scared and I left to take a piss and came back. It felt good. Anyway, the scary part happens. OH BOY. Conic's eyes were the size of my balls... pretty FRICKIN small. He wore too much make up! His smile was so wide, his face tore in half. And his finger was wagging too FRICKIN fast! That's the worst part!
And Conic was red! Everyone knows Conic is supposed to be pink! Not red! And not blood red. More like strawberry red. The title emblem was FRICKIN rusty as FRICK.
The ghost tricked me! The contract said that he'd keep the chracater ON MODEL. I swear to god if he crosses my path, I'll KILL THAT FRICKIN FRICK
And then dad came in and saw porn on my computer, and he spanked my ass with a metal rod while singing the national anthem of America. It was awful. I'm scarred for life, and he grounded me. Not only that, but Conic isn't making me any money as a sex slave. Life FRICKIN sucks. I've been having nightmares for weeks. Never playing Sonic ever again.
- SammiModernSonicFan
Credited to BelaireIsland
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