Cupcakes With Jeff
Chapter one - Arrival
The moment I realized I had fallen, I knew I wasn't on this world any more. I felt the air around me swirl, and my stomach lifted. As if to be a violent roller coaster, I dipped and dodged around the things that fell in with me. Remind me never to piss Seer off again. For being pissed though, she was still beautiful, the red hair, her curves and just the way she bosses people around is delicious. Jeff laughed to himself. But I could tell this time, I was in real trouble.
Pinkie Pie strutted swiftly and happily along the park pathway. She hummed a blissful tune as she hopped along cutely. As she went along her business, she nodded and said hello to her fellow pony-friends. She made it back into ponyville and into the town center where Sugar Cube Corner was located. She went inside to make an order for herself. She came in and greeted the Cake's happily and went back into the hallway and into the farthest door. She walked into the door and closed it behind her, locking it. A few hours later, she opened the door showing her hanging a white apron stained with red up on the coat holder on the wall. She came out of the door with a wooden woven basket that had a bump covered by a plaid sheet in it. She walked back out of Sugar Cube Corner and back into the park. She set her basket down and took the plaid sheet from the basket revealing cupcakes, and laid it out on the field in front of her. She then took the basket and set it in front of her shouting out "Cupcakes! Get free cupcakes made by yours truly!"
A crowd came in front of Pinkie Pie as they all grabbed a cupcake happily. As the cupcakes disappeared, Pinkies curiosity peeked. She looked around at the delighted ponies and smiled. These ponies had no idea how truly delicious these cupcakes were to make.
The crowd thinned into mere single digits until it was completely gone and Pinkie was left alone once more with her imagination. Her smile started to fade as reality became a blur and a sort of weird urge came over her. As she started to walk away, she heard a loud bang from behind her and a small crackle in the sky which she assumed was thunder. Then she recalled Rainbow Dash saying that the weather was clear all week because there was a massive thunderstorm due next week. Surprised by this crackle and thinking it might be some kind of trouble, considering what's been happening in equestria lately, she turned around and ran off towards the thunder. As she approached a huge seared spot in the grass, she found a medium sized colt, face down on the spot. He had some kind of jacket on that was partially stained by something dark. He had a black mane and tail, and a white body. She couldn't see his cutie mark because of the jacket, the way he had landed covered it. She reached her hoof towards the colt and tapped him gently.
" Uhm, are you okay Mister Mystery???" Pinkie asked in her silly goof voice.
The colt groaned and started to wiggle a bit out of place. He breathlessly whispered "Uhh, what... The Hell?"
: He rose from his spot still shuddering from the fall. His long, black, silky hair covered his face. However Pinkie Pie was too curious to go by for long without seeing it.
"That's the last time I piss Natasha off. Ow!" He said still hurting.
"Uh, Hello??? Who in the hoof are you and where did you come from?" Pinkie Pie asked curiously.
"Uhg...." Jeff complained and looked up at Pinkie Pie. He jolted back in surprise. Oh my Fuck! It's a... PONY? A PINK PONY? THAT TALKS! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????
"What the Fuck are you?" He asked Pinkie.
"Uh, a pony? Like you?" Pinkie replied turning her head sideways at the still hair-covered white colt.
Jeff looked down at his non-existant hands to find they had been replaced with hooves. Jumping back once more at this, he thought back to himself about falling through the portal the Seer had created earlier.
This must be where she sent me... Wherever "Here" is.
"Hey, Pink pony! Where am I?"
"In Ponyville of course!" She said, laughing back at him with a snort. Jeff flinched at her piercingly annoying laugh.
"And where the Hell is that?" He asked back at her.
"Well... Equestria silly? Are you okay in the head there mister?" Pinkie asked slightly confused at his lesser knowledge of the place he must have been born and raised in.
"I'm not even going to ask..." Jeff said.
"Hey, what is your name anyways? I haven't seen you here before!" Pinkie asked scooching closer towards Jeffs face. At this he turned away from Pinkie Pie and grunted. He stood finally, still hiding his face in his mass of Black hair.
"Jeff..." He told her.
"Just... Jeff? Thats it? But... it's so... boring and abnormal." Pinkie said back to Jeff.
"Well where I come from, it's a perfectly normal name." Jeff shouted back at Pinkie Pie. He wanted to get away from this annoying bitch-of-a-pony and get out of here, but seeing as he had no clue about anything in this world or where to go or if he could even let anyone know who he really was, he decided to put up with this horrifying pony so he could get out of here faster. He just wished she was a little more knowledgeable about... Well, anything.
Pinkie Pie got closer to Jeff, she narrowed her eyes and gave him a hard stare. After a moment, she lightened up and jumped around him in circles.
"Well then Jeff, if that's your name, than that's a wonderific name! It won't make us any less of friends! My names Pinkie Pie if I didn't say earlier!" She laughed again "Hey lets throw you a party so you can get lots of friends, okay?"
"NO!" He shouted at her, "No... I think I'll stick with you for now... Just for a while until I get used to it here okay?"
Pinkie stared at Jeff for a second and then smiled.
"Okiedokiloki! Well then you need a place to stay! So come with me to Sugar Cube Corner, the Cake's have an extra bed you can use!" Pinkie Pie said excitedly and began hopping away.
Jeff was soon to follow, pulling his hood over his head and then trying to 'walk' as fast and steadily as he could after Pinkie Pie. He still had some getting used to, to do.
After a few minutes of finally firmly trotting along the colorful houses and pathways that Ponyville had in store, he spotted a particularly sweet looking building. It looked as if it was made of candy. He made a pretty good guess as to which building it was, and he guessed right because Pinkie Pie hopped to the door, opening it for Jeff.
As Jeff carefully walked into the sweet smelling shop, Pinkie Pie noticed his cutie mark. A knife, and a bloody one too. A bit alarmed by this, the weird feeling from earlier came back, but this time stronger. She disregarded this feeling as her "Pinkie Sense" and walked in behind Jeff. She still wondered though, about what his special talent was, although she had her suspicions.
Jeff and Pinkie walked inside and as they did, a bell sounded from the opening of the door, and Mrs.Cake came out to greet the two of them.
"Hello Pinkie Pie! Are you here to play with Pumpkin and Pound Cake today?" The blue and pinkie swirly haired pony asked.
"No ma'am, today I have a new friend that needs somewhere to stay. His name is Jeff. He doesn't talk a lot though."
Mrs.Cake looked at Jeff and nodded at Pinkie Pie.
"Unfortunately, Trixie is staying in the last available room for the rest of the week. But Pinkies room is large enough where we could scooch another bed into it and put up curtains for privacy." Mrs.Cake said.
Jeff didn't seem to protest the idea, in fact, he looked almost as if he didn't care at all.
"Well Jeffy?" Pinkie asked.
"One, don't call me that. Two, sure I don't care." Jeff said.
Mrs.Cake shivered and smiled. "Oh, mysterious isn't he?" She laughed.
As Pinkie and Jeff were beginning to walk off, Mrs.Cake gasped and squealed. Jeff and Pinkie turned around at this, alarmed.
"Pinkie Pie, your friends cutie mark. It's a knife... A bloody knife... Just what exactly does he do?" Mrs.Cake asked with an almost scared look on her face. Pinkie Pie shrugged and looked at Jeff expecting an answer.
"Uhu... I'm a... Butcher! Yeah a butcher. For the wolves, yeah nasty creatures. pfft, too bad my village has to feed those wolves... But my original talent is making... props..."
Both of them sighed in relief. Pinkie Pie shouted for Jeff to follow her and they went upstairs.
Chapter two - Partner in Cupcakes
After a few hours, the room was set up as two separate ones. Pinkie Pie had brought some cakes and goodies up for Jeff to snack on, and of course, he helped himself to them. He was beginning to appreciate the persistence of this pink pony.
As Jeff was finishing stuffing himself full of goodies, Pinkie Pie brushed the curtain open and looked in at the bloated colt. She walked over to him and asked him a question in a very serious manner.
"Jeff... You're not a butcher or a prop maker are you?" Pinkie Pies eyes looked down on him, almost screaming at him. As if to make him only able to say the truth.
"No.. I'm not Pinkie..." Jeff said seriously. He pulled a knife out of his jacket and started to laugh "You see my dear, I am a killer. My full name is Jeff the Killer. I kill to satiate my bloodlust. But recently for money." Jeff paused.
Pinkie Pies pupils shrunk and with a nervous face started to sweat. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it. She saw his face for the first time.White, red lips torn beyond repair, his eyes lined with black, not blinking. That weird feeling she had before came back.
"But now that you know... I guess.. I'll just have to help you go. To. SLEEP!" Jeff said dashing towards the pink pony.
*SLAM*
Jeff had driven Pinkie Pie against the wall. But to his surprise, Pinkie had grabbed his hooves and stopped the knives from penetrating her chest and abdomen. His eyes widened. This pony wasn't the same as a second ago.
Pinkie Pie started to sinisterly laugh. she overpowered the unready Jeff. she yanked one of the two knifes from Jeffs hooves and pushed him back.
"I'm more than meets the eye, Jeffy!"
Pinkie Pie had turned a darker grey shade of pink, and her hair was no longer bushy and curly, instead it had turned smooth, almost like leather. When she smiled, her teeth now looked sharper than average. Jeff was a bit shocked at this alter-ego. For a perky pink pony, she was really dark now. He found this new development... Well... Delicious; one thing the two of them had in common.
Jeff slowly lifted himself. He stared at Pinkie Pie. She suspected he was going to dash at her again with the knife, but to her surprise, his shocked face, turned upwards. His look slowly turned from a shocked look into a psychotic smile. He started to laugh.
"Pinkie Pie, haha, you know, I honestly underestimated you. I thought you were just an annoying, pink, gay pony with a baby face. But now that you've gone all psycho, I'm starting to appreciate you more, and your kind of a doll." Jeff said inching closer to Pinkie's face.
Pinkie Pie giggled a little. "I'm not Pinkie Pie Jeffy. The Pinkie Pie you know, is lost inside her own mind. Refer to me as Pinkamina!" She said nudging her snout against Jeff's. Pinkie Pie dropped the knife in her hoof and sighed. "Now thanks to you Jeffy, I have a bloodlust. So later tonight I'll have to make myself some cupcakes. As your punishment, you have to help me! We could be... Partners in Cupcakes!" Pinkamina laughed. Jeff misunderstood this phrase. He looked at her curiously.
"Oh don't worry Jeffy, you'll like it. I'm just glad that that arrogant bitch Twilight isn't here, she'd be the only one who would question my hair and attitude. Hey I think I got a target in mind. That Slut, Rarity, would make some delicious cupcakes." Pinkamina laughed and smiled.
Jeff now had a hint at what she might be talking about, but considering he found she was basically the female version of himself, he wasn't quite sure if it was some facade of insanity or randomness. With this, Jeff stood.
"Alright Sweetcheeks, I'll give it a shot. Might as well wait until Seer finds me anyways. Let's be partners in Cupcakes, for now." Jeff laughed.
Originally posted on Crappypasta.com and written by Caitlin Akers, and Madelyn Robinson
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