Da Blue Box
I was at a flea market and saw a brad-motherfucking-new copy of The Orange Box on PC for $1, but it was called DA BLUE BOX! So I bought it, put it into my PC, and played it, launched Half Life 2, but the title screen said Half Death 2, with a close-up of the face of the cheaple model, a model used for civilians doing stuff in the background to avoid using ALL DA PROCCESSING POWAH! and it was chanting "DIE MUDDAFUKKA" backwards and had red eyed and sounded like a demon, but who cared? I looked at the time, and it was 4 AM, so I went to bed, and watched Vinesauce while I went to sleep, I woke up, hopped onto my PC, and started playing, The intro was normal, then I got in-game, and THE TRAIN PEOPLE WERE BOTH EXTREMELY FUCKING DEFORMED! AND BREEN WAS THE CHEAPLE MODEL AND CHANTING SOME STRANGE SPELL! I completed the game, nothing special. Just all the main characters just had their lines replaced with demonic chants half way through. So I launched TF2, and it crashed. Then I tried Portal, GLADOS was silent the whole game, and wheatley appeared out of nowhere telling me I'm a worthless piece of shit, nothing special. Then I saw a screen saying "LOL JUST KIDDING, WE EXPECTED YOU TO QUIT AT THIS POINT, IT WAS TO PROTECT THE ACTUAL GAME ON HERE", then I played Half Life 3. Gaben told me in a email that he would pay me $2000000532408 if I don't say what happens in HL3, So now I am richer than fucking Bill Gates, he said I can write what happens before I played HL3, though. Also now I am suicidal, my dogs are all dead, and my mom has lung cancer, and my dad has dick cancer, and now I am being threatened by Kim Jun Un himself that he hates me so much he wants to nuke me, but he won't because he wants to prove he isn't as evil as people say he is, AND Obama himself tried to murder me, but no biggie.
Written by Cassi75474
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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