Da Man is Smiling: Ben Takes A Watery Dirtnap Spinoff

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Oh my lord. Please delete this if it breaks rules. I did not know this would happen, really.

Hey yo, remember that shit Ben did a while back

Motherfuckers said it wasn't gonna work

That crazy shit, yeah the stupid shit

Hey yo Benny!

Hey man why don't you come off the ocarina for a minute

And bust this crazy shit


...Woke up quick, at about noon...

Just thought that I had to be in the cartridge soon

I gotta get drunk before the 4th day begins

Before my mother starts bitchin about Jeff

About to go and damn near went blind

Young Hylians at the pad throwin up triforce signs

Ran in the house and grabbed my clip

With the Hero's Bow on the side of my hip

Bailed outside and Z-pointed my weapon

Just as I thought, the fools kept steppin

Jumped on the horse played the song for my ride

I got front back and side to side

Then I let the alpine play

Bumpin new shit by DWA (Deku's With Attitude]

It was gangsta gangsta at the top of the list

Then I played my own shit, it went somethin like this:

Cruisin down the street on my horse

Jockin the bitches, slappin the hoes Went to the park to get the scoop

Terminians out there cold shootin some hoops

A cart pulls up, who can it be?

A mask salesman rolled, kilo g

He rolls down his window and he started to say it's all about makin Majora pay


Cuz the boyz n tha clock town are always hard

You come talkin that trash we'll pull your card

Knowin nothin in life but to play legit

Don't quote me Link, cuz I ain't said shit


Down on bitches in the place to give me the pace

He said my man Jadusable is on freebase

The boy jadusable was a friend of mine

Til I caught him in my horse tryin to steal my alpine

Chased him up the street to call a truce

The silly motherfucker pull out a slingshot

Little did he know I had a loaded heros bow

Jadusable dead, Clock Town times front page



Bored as hell and I want to kill

So I went to a spot where the Moon Children chill

The children out there, makin that dollar

I pulled up on my Epona

They greet me with a potion and I start drinkin

And from the Kotake's my breath start stinkin

Love to get Zelda, to rock that body

Before I left I hit the bacardi

Went to her castle to get her out of the pad

Dumb hoe says something stupid that made me mad

She said somethin that I couldn't believe

So I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave

She started talkin shit, wouldn't you know?

Reached back like a pimp and slapped the hoe

Her father jumped out and he started to shout

So I Z-targeted him and knocked his whole ass out



I'm rollin hard now I'm under control

Then wrapped the master sword round the telephone poll

I looked at my sword and I said, oh brother I throw it in the gutter and go buy another

Walkin home and I see the g ride

Now ket is drivin kilo on the side

As they busted a u, they got pulled over

It was Gannon dressed in a dark green nova

Ket got beaten for resistin arrest

He socked the pig in the head for rippin his guess

Now g is cut for doin the crime

For defense on the boy, he'll do some time


I went to get them out but there was no bail

The fellaz start to riot in the Hyrule Castle jail

Two days later in Hyrule court

Kilo g on trial straight cold cut a fork

Distruption of a court, said the judge

On a six year sentence my man didn't budge

Bailer came over to turn him in

Kilo g looked up and gave a grin

He yelled out fire!, then came suzi

The bitch came in with a sub-machine uzi

Guards shot the bitch but didn't hurt her

Both up lands for attempted murder

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