Da Scary Book
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NSFW WARNING
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When I was an early adult I went camping. We would sit around the fire and tell each other scary stories like The Polish Nap Experiment or Deth Trumpet. One dick nugget named Thomas decided to tell us his story. I put my hands close to the fire for warmth ready for the super scary story. Would it be an EVIL PATRIXX story? I was not allowed to read those. He began to speak in a deeper voice than anyone their had ever heard him speak. He began by saying "This is the story of Da Scary Book". I thought to myself that must be fucking stupid if he misspelled that shit. He then continued by saying " It opens with a picture of EVIL PATRIXX and his family. He was firing Lazer beams out of his anus. Then his family disappeared and the reader who was reading was sucked in. The next reader went up to and turned a page. It had paper mario taking a nasty shit (so sexy yes Lord). The reader barfed his anus waffles out. The book fell down and the reader picked it up only to see that paper mario and all the characters from mario's game entitled "Sonic The Hedgehog" were all dead and hyper realistic blood everywhere. Mario popped out of the page and turned a plushy. Mario then said " Wanna play a game?" The reader responded by saying "Fuck you hell no". John stopped talking for a little bit and cried. I was shocked by this and burnt my hands on the fire because I was fucking stupid. He told anyone that not want to be disturbed for the rest of their life to leave. I did not leave because I am not a pussy dick nugget like Ronald and mean that motherfucker was scared of an ant. John began to speak again " Then paper Mario forced the reader to play Hotel Mario on the CDI. He got past the first few stages but on stage 4 he pissed his pants and saw in the corner a dead and mutilated sex toy. He shrugged it off like it was nothing (passed it off as a glitch). He got stage 5 and flipped out when he saw in the corner of his a green dildo. He thought this game was for sex addicts. He flipped and left the room. Wait the room! He shouted he noticed that somehow mario must have teleported him their. Their was eight doors he could go through. He went in the first one and saw electroman taking a shit. He went to next one and saw Joker taking a shit. Joker said " Why so serious!!!!" He slammed the door and realized he was in a bathroom he saw a sign that said if he could beat the game he could leave from this literal shit hole. He went into the room and played the game. He passed ten stages and got to the final boss it was a floating dead Master Chief Etzio Portal Ninja Knight. He tried and tried all he could but he could not win. He tried so hard he took a shit. He quit and then Sanic popped up and say "Suck my Dick finish this game or I will kill you!" The reader then summoned mORGAn Freeman and together they beat the boss. Then EVIL PATRIXX came out of mORGAn Freeman and said "WERE THE FUCK IS SANCIC!" The Sanic popped up and said "Suck my dick you Will die here. " EVIL PATRIXX punched Sanic in the face then Sanic pushed EVIL PATRIXX down punching him faster than the speed of light. Sanic started to monologue saying you will die here! Wont you patrick? Wont you patrick? Wont you Patrick!!!!? NO THIS EVIL MOTHERFUCKING PATRIXX!!!!!! He then went Super Saiyan and punched Sanic in the balls. Sanic went so fast he fell into another dimension . Then the reader said "EVIL PATRIXX you saved me!Then EVIL PATRIXX said hell no fuck you I am going to make my bitch on my page! The reader responded saying "Your page?" Yes the trollpasta wiki is a book and each page is for a different character.EVIL PATRIXX then grabbed the reader and flew to his page. Then EVIL PATRIXX made the reader his bitch The reader saw a tear in the page and left. Their he was on top of the waterfall the same waterfall that John was telling us the story on. The reader threw the book in the water but before he did he pissed on Sanic's page. Then he took a shit and rested. The next morning their were trollpasta books everywhere. He ran as fast he could and then slipped on a piece of air. He was laying their thinking "Was it worth it?" He then thought to himself about how he watched Spongebob as a kid and played Sonic as a kid. He realized it was trying to kill him using his childhood memories he ran at the books saying " Fuck My Life " and they all ate him. Then when John was telling his story it was 6:66 AM so we went to bed. Then 20 years later today I saw Da Scary Book again. I pissed my pants in disgust like any normal human would. I remembered not to let take hold of my childhood memories. I picked up the book and opened to page 57 their was a picture a Princess with red eyes. I pissed on the book and threw it away. Them when I was asleep I was sucked into the book. I saw EVIL PATRIXX standing at the top of a mountain saying "I am going to make you my bitch!" I would not let it happened but he grabbed and made me his bitch the 306 years later a skeleton popped out of me and I died and you are next and here are some tips to survive being EVIL PATRIXX's bitch: his balls give you energy, suck on them, Kill Sanic and you will please EVIL PATRIXX, Read every trollpasta ever. Or you will be EVIL PATRIXX's BITCH.
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