Damn Daniel

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This is a fictional joke story written by DaveTheUseless. Don't take it seriously, fellas.



Listen: I know what you're thinking. Right now. You're thinking that the Internet is a rather splendorous place. Full of cat videos, people who rant and ramble on about their opinions and personal interests, and funny little pictures that we like to refer to as memes. Oh, hey, it's a frog on a unicycle riding in and saying 'O shit, here comes dat boi'. Or, oh, maybe I'm from the 1990s, and it's 'All your base are belong to us'. Perhaps it's a very recent picture, of Shrek fading off into disintegrating polygons, with a caption of "I don't feel so good". Well, this all may be quite fun to you, especially given the sense of empowerment that Internet anonymity provides you with, but let me tell you--there's much more to life than that.

Much, much more.

Let's start off with an ancient adage, rather than a modern day meme: what goes around comes around. This might seem like an unconvincing threat from a spurned victim, but it really is much more than that. It's significantly so, in actuality. Take it as an old wives' tale at your own risk.

Consider this: damning someone is a potentially serious act. When you damn someone, you are sending them straight to hell--assuming that your act of damning is actually a potent one. (More on that later.) Imagine if what you said did indeed come true: you'd be sending a whole lot of people to an untimely demise and eternal torment, now wouldn't you? Is that something that you really want to be responsible for? No: of course not. Unless you're a psychopath, or a sociopath.

But it's just a figure of speech... right?

Now, listen here. I had a friend who was a pretty good guy. I dug his shoes, too. We used to hang out all the time. But one day, I said something, and I am presently being held accountable for it. If I could take it all back, I would. But it's too late. And I'm not saying that only one of us is taking the heat for it. Maybe it's the both of us. That's the true peril of passing it on. Maybe every time that you say it and mean it—because what really pollutes is what comes from the mouth, as it extends directly from the heart—it's a reflection of your very own corruption. And perhaps, even if you catch it in time and don't actually say it, it's already too late, because the corruption is already inside of you. Whether it had spread to others would therefore be an entirely different matter.

Now, let's assume that the act of expressing damnation is important in ways other than the act of saying. Consider typing, or sending a stream of visual data onward from one website to another, having the same, or similar, amount of potential potency. Perhaps the contagion could spread on in 140 characters or less. Onward and away it goes, polluting and consuming and, above all else... damning. In an exponential fashion.

I'm going to assume that you've heard of collective consciousness. It's the idea that one's own ego is a delusion, and that agency and internal locus of control are--to a significant degree--shams. This means that what is inside is already outside, and what is external is already inner. Given that thoughts arise from external stimuli without intrinsic intent, this makes one's own mind—well, you get what I'm saying.

Like it or not, even if your intention does not always come true, it has come true enough. Like it or not, you are a torturer of yourself and so, so many others.

Even if the wish rarely comes true, you have made plenty of wishes, and enough of them have indeed come to fruition. Like it or not, you are a murderer. Homicidal, even. And when you have not killed, what you have instead caused, and continue to cause—in perpetual, eternal cycles—is so... so much unspeakably worse.

How could you?

Damn it, Daniel...

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