Death;Life - A tale of Steam

Death or Life. Games, or no games. That is the question. I, like all steam users, need games to survive.

Games.

Games.

Games.

GAMES.

They are essential to survival.

They went for cheap recently, due to the stupid sale of Steam in The Summer. This Steam rolled out tons of price drops, emptying most gamer's wallets. Except mine. I sat here, alone, crying. Good offers. I could have lived longer, without being so fucking depressed over a shitty PC with barely any games, yet I seem to own 100+ games because I used to be a rich fucker. Anyways. The only gift I seemed to recieve, was Payday: The Heist. I was happy, but the FPS was too low. Then, a few weeks later, hope glistened. My friend, [O.P], offered me a chance. Goat Simulator. And. Don't Starve.

What was the price?

"My Immortal".

[O.P]: If you can survive reading all of My Immortal.

I will give you Don't Starve, and Goat Simulator.

I promise.

RetributionGamer: Really!? Are you serious?

[O.P]: Yep. Well, that's when I get money, if I get money.

RetributionGamer: Alright then.

Into the bullshit..

Chapter 1

"And out through the anus with games.."

Confidently, I typed. It was 9:30PM, and I had school in the morning, so I quickly asked for the link and turned off my laptop. I sighed in great relief. I was actually getting the keys to my own survival. They were in reach. I prepared for bed, brushed my teeth and got into bed. Being the insomniac I am, I stayed up and finished watching some gay-shit anime called Corpse Party: Tortured Souls based on the decent RPG game. Was pretty disappointing, but that was expected as it was ONLY FIVE EPISODES.

So, when I was done, it was about 11:30PM, and I was tired. Before properly dozing off, I recalled downloading some "Omegle" type application onto my shitty Gen 4 iPod, with iOS 6 stuck on it. I found a bunch of pedophiles, and trolled them so hard, it was great. I then slipped my iPod under my pillow, and fell asleep.

4:20 AM. I woke up. My mother was shaking me, and I was half-awake. "Hey, wake up!" I remember hearing that, but dozing back off. Why the hell was she waking me up at this time?

6:15 AM. I woke up again, with a pounding head-ache. Sweat trickled down my forehead, as my mother attempted to wake me up again, as she had just woke up my little brother (who's pretty fucking annoying) and was trying to get me up for school. "Headache." My throat felt slight pain while I spoke those words.

7:18. Again, I woke up. Fuck. I was gonna be late. I raced out of bed, got ready and headed off to school. I had my iPad with me, so school wasn't gonna be too shit. 

First "period". Haha, these lessons aren't fucking menstrual patterns, who the fuck would call LESSONS "periods"? Anyways, first lesson, was pretty cool. Everyone else was sitting on their chairs looking down at their iPad's as if the fucking teacher showed them all Meatspin and Goatse and they were all angsty about it. Well, except from me and a few friends. We sat and played Minecraft, because we had nothing fucking better to do, and we had to do a model of a trench, so we weren't gonna make an actual fucking model of a trench, were we? Fuck that paper mache shit.

Lesson 2, Spanish. Fucking hell, it was a nightmare. We had a test, which I really couldn't give the slightest shit about, as I don't wanna speak Spanish. That language is as confusing as Chinese, fucking hell. Anyways, we had a test, which I aced in about 15 minutes, in which I had to wait the remaining 30 minutes to "check over my work". Teachers, man. They fuck you over too much.

Lesson 3, English. Oh my fucking god, utter bullshit. At least it was a reading lesson, right? Wrong. My teacher, is an utter disgrace to the human race, she's a strict pussy who has her dick so far up her ass it bleeds.

Lesson 4, Design Technology. I made cookies this lesson.

They turned out like shit. The end.

Lesson 5, Art.

I did nothing. GG NO RE TEACHERS

I raced home. Grabbed the link, and read ONE chapter of My Immortal.

I fucking died. Honestly.

This bitch can't even write.

This was gonna be a piece of cake-oh wait, the cake is obviously a lie and..

there's 44 chapters of this bullshit.

TBC

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