Disney/Pixar Cars: Bootleg Version

I love the movie Cars. I like the 3rd film the best because it brings back Doc Hudson, who wasn't in Cars 2, as he only appeared in pictures. The film follows this plot: While traveling to California to race against The King (Richard Petty) and Chick Hicks (Michael Keaton) for the Piston Cup Championship, Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) becomes lost after falling out of his trailer in a run down town called Radiator Springs. While there, he slowly befriends the town's odd residents, including Sally Carrera (Bonnie Hunt), Doc Hudson (Paul Newman), and Tow Mater (Larry the Cable Guy). When it comes time for him to leave to championship, he is no longer his top priority.

But one day, I found a DVD of the movie in my front yard, that was a bootleg version of it.

So I took it inside, and put the DVD in. The menu was most generic and had a picture of an Evil Lightning McQueen and the music was so messed up: it sounded like the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song! I selected play anyway.

The Disney logo was blood red and the audio was distorted. The Pixar logo was black and red and the audio was distorted too.

After the Pixar logo, Lightning McQueen is racing on a track. The title just said Cars: La Pelicula del Mal. Obviously, this meant "The Evil Movie". Lightning McQueen was black. Lightning won, but there was blood all over the racetrack.

In Radiator Springs, a big explosion could be heard. As it turned out, Sally Carrera and Tow Mater were the ones who exploded. The Evil McQueen stared into their dead souls. Then, he had his normal red color and his Cars 2 form. His headlights were replaced with his eyes, and the spot where the eyes normally were was BLANK! Some text said, "Kerchoo." He also had HUGE teeth as if they hadn't been brushed.

Lightning's number then turned to 666 and the screen cut to static for 10 minutes. I played Angry Birds on my phone while I waited. If you don't know what Angry Birds is, it's basically a game where you have these wingless birds and you have to shoot them at pigs using a slingshot because they stole the eggs. Now back to the story.

When the static was done, it showed some creepy photos. There were Kerchoo and Evil McQueen pictures. Then more random ass Kerchoo and Evil McQueen photos came on screen. After 5 minutes, the movie resumed, but then it cut to a clip from The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea, a direct-to-video sequel, however, the video was very distorted, but the audio was normal. It was the Tip and Dash song. But then it cut back to Cars, where McQueen ate Doc Hudson, Sally, Luigi, Guido, Sarge, and Mater. Sally and Mater were still dead, and Doc, Luigi, Guido, and Sarge were alive. WERE, until they were devoured. McQueen ate everyone else in the town. Suddenly, he exploded due to the massive amount of cars he ate. The credits were just R.I.P Cars. Then it showed the Disney and Pixar logos again and ended.

I then took the DVD out of the player and put it in the blender and shredded it. Remember, if you see the Cars bootleg DVD, burn every copy and don't watch it. Only watch the actual Cars, Cars 2, and Cars 3 films and Cars Toons episodes.

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