Don't Open the Closet
I woke up one Saturday morning, fresh as a bee. Had some coffee, some breakfast, and went to my computer. To my surprise, there was a text document in the bottom-right corner of my desktop named "READ". And so I read it. Inside it said in all caps "DON'T OPEN THE CLOSET". It seemed to advise me not to open the door that just so happened to be about 10 ft away from me...nice..
Anyway, I thought it was ridiculous, but still took caution of it's warning. The next day it was raining. Hard. And I had to take out the trash. And guess where my raincoat was?
Yup. You guessed it.
I felt that even in this bizarre weather I shouldn't open the closet. So I didn't. I got soaked in acid rain. I was very wet and unhappy.
The next day there was a really cool party that was at 8 PM. I was excited because I didn't need to worry about my closet for that. Guess what? I did. About 2 seconds after I shifted into reverse and drove my car out of the garage one of my tires popped on a sharp rock. And guess where my tools were?
The closet. Of course.
So I didn't get to attend the party. The next day I awoke to find my place trashed, dirt everywhere, things broken and battered. I went to ask my neighbors if they knew what happened, and found animal control around my neighborhood.
My neighbors told me that some psycho broke into the pound and released a bunch of strays into the neighborhood. One of them got into my house, broke all my things, and managed to sneak out.
AND GUESS WHERE MY VACUUM WAS?
So yes, I spent the entire day cleaning up my house BY HAND. The next day I got a phone call from a radio station telling me if I could answer a particular random question I could win 10 grand! I got so excited! I got even MORE excited when they asked me to name a type of large green fish! I knew EVERYTHING about fish! I kept it all on a little card...that I kept...in....my closet....I ended up giving the wrong answer and I lost the chance of a lifetime.
The next day I became so angry, so aggravated, so INFURIATED, that I finally decided to do it! I opened my closet...
AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!
THE END
Credited to Skirdus
Originally uploaded on August 26, 2011
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