Donkey Kong 64

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I remember when I was 3, I would play this game all the time. When I was at the point of beating the game, my family decided to move to the USA (I was born in Mexico), so I had to leave the N64 there. Now I'm 12 years old. Don't worry, I'm not like those annoying little kids on their microphone screaming and crying on Halo and COD. One day I was just looking on Amazon when I remembered about DK 64, so I looked it up.

"500 FOR A NEW COPY?" I thought when I saw the price for a new copy. Then for the used copies.

I found a used copy that was only 15 bucks. The description said "01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101" "Weird," I thought. I convinced my bro to buy it. A week later I got the game, ran to my room and got my old N64 (which I was sent from Mexico) and popped it in. The intro was weird, while hearing the DK rap. I heard chanting in a foreign language. At the end of the intro, a weird picture came out. It looked like a mangled body of a little boy. The title screen was weird too, instead of Donkey Kong 64, it's said "01100100 01101001 01100101"

It was the same binary description I saw on Amazon. Lucky that I wrote it down on a piece of paper. I got shocking results when it translated. *note that I left my 64 on during translating. In the description, it said "You all will die" and in the game it said "Die." When I was going to get up from the chair, I heard LOUD screeches coming out of the TV. I quickly ran into my room and I saw DK's lifeless eyes with Diddy Kong on the ground behind him. I was shocked. I turned off the 64. When it was at the point on turning off, a message on my TV said "YOU ARE NEXT" in a red bloody font. I was disturbed, with curiosity ruling over my body, I tried it again. It started all normal. With no chanting, no disturbing pictures, and no binaries. When I got to the menu, I selected adventure. There was a saved file already. Again with curiosity, I selected the file. He/she was on gloomy galleon, but it didn't say gloomy galleon, instead it said "Death" I was getting scared at this point.

There were dead Kremlings everywhere with blood spewing out and the guts out. With fear, I explored the world, until I got somewhere disturbing. A giant picture of the same picture I saw the first time was there. With the same blood texture like in Conker's Bad Fur Day. I quickly ran towards my 64 and turned it off. The TV spoke to me. It said "Why not keep playing, Sebastian?" I got VEEERRRYYYYY SCAAAREEEEDDDDDDD. I turned around to see my TV. A bloody face with skin tearing off was on the screen. I plugged of both my N64 and TV and it was gone for good. So was the cartridge. As I was destroying the cartridge, I noticed that the official Nintendo seal wasn't there. No wonder.

I managed to get another copy of this game, I checked for the seal but didn't read what it said like the old saying "Official Nintendo Seal" It started all normal, with a saved file on the adventure menu. I opened it. He was in frantic factory. But it said "FT FCT" and instead of the iconic xylophone tune, there was a LOUD piano banging tune.

It started with lanky. I was going to try to get the golden bananas. As I was exploring, I saw a kremling stabbing Tiny Kong, I was HORRIFIED, especially with the piano banging. The kremling was chasing me with a knife, and then I threw an orange at him. He LITERALLY EXPLODED INTO PIECES. All the sudden a cutscene came up. It was that kremling that exploded. He said "Why'd you kill me?" "What have I done to you?" in a demonic voice, then his eyes turned bloodshot and pictures of me being stabbed and me being dismembered came up. I took of the cartridge off and the TV was still on. That cartridge was gone for good. I got one now and it plays normal.

Credited to Lolwut120
Originally uploaded on October 29, 2011

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