Drunktalia
Yes, this is inspired by Blood Whistle. Yes, this is a joke.
Note
This is a record of the DeviantART journals of some random Japanese guy, named Takashi, who watched a bizarre spinoff of Hetalia featuring the countries' drunk selves, released now in December 2014. He committed suicide after watching five episodes of it.
December 23, 2014
My 19 year old sister told me about this newly released spinoff made by Hidekaz Himaruya himself named Drunktalia. For some reason, it doesn't have a manga, Hidekaz wrote directly to Studio Deen and Hiroshi Watanabe. It's about the countries' drunk sides, living in other dimension, named "Drunkenland". Well, it's just a comedy anime, so nothing could go wrong, right?
December 25, 2014
It's like 11 PM right now, and I just downloaded the first episode. I'm going to watch it tommorrow, but the thumbnail looks fine. I mean, it's nothing irregular, it's just a shot of sky. The sky looks pretty odd, being mixture of colors, like green, pink, purple, and so on. Look for the journal I'm going to post in the next day.
December 26, 2014
I just wish I didn't watch that episode. I'm still feeling insane, even after one hour of watching it. My brain is closing just like a shell. My soul is blackening progressively, second by second.
I saw the intro, featuring the Drunktalia logo plus a huge bottle of sake filling the screen. The music was also very odd, in which was what seemed like to be a drunken Germany singing "Anaconda". The intro lasted for about ten seconds (Yes, I counted that on my stopwatch). My whole life before this intro ended was normal, and I was perfectly sane. But after that, I'm just a little boy in the brink of insanity.
The episode starts with normal Japan sitting on the floor of the shrine he lived. There was no music at all, I just could listen to the sound of the wind blowing and the flowers of his cherry blossom tree. Then, his cellphone started to ring. It was unpredictable to see the person who was calling him. Chills went down my spine once I saw them.
The person who was calling Japan was his drunken self from the drunken dimension in which I now believe it's literally Hell. This guy had slightly more cartoonish eyes and very widened brown pupils, and his voice was just like normal Japan's, except it was fannier and more slurred. He spoke to him some very vulgar and disturbing stuff that I ultimately want to forget. I am showing you a small part of the dialogue, but NOT the whole thing.
Japan: ...Herro?
Drunk Japan: HEY, FUCKER! You're my sober serf, right?
Japan: Uhhhh... Who are you?
Drunk Japan: WHO are you, ya say? I'm your fuckin' drunk self, I just indicated it five seconds ago!
Japan: ...And why did you want to carr me?
Drunk Japan: Because I wanna talk to ya, and my arries say you're boring as shit! And just by hearing your voice, I can see it's true. Maybe you should do somethin' such as come here at my dimension and sing some karaoke, or watch some hentai, or even fuck me?
Japan: ...Eeeeeehhhhhhhhh...
Remember, this is not the whole thing. I took this part to you at least have a clue of what this abomination of a dialogue is about. After this scene, Japan got sucked through the phone, to his scary drunken self's room, in which was very messy, with posters of hentai, hip-hop artists and Nicki Minaj here and there. Drunk Japan marched his sober self to the city and forced him in a tour. The city itself was very creepy, the sky was a mixture of colors, the drunken people all dressed oddly there, the buildings were overly shiny and sparkly, and the music was gangster rap playing loudly from two giant speakers in which were the size of skyscrapers. All the stuff he pointed out weren't different. A sparkly rainbowy mall having the giant statue of a fat man on the roof. A flamboyant movie theater having movie posters of very vulgar-looking films. Yeah, and that's only three of the twenty pieces of nightmare fuel that were pointed out.
I'm going to expose this series to you, so you can be warned about this abysmal monstruosity from Hell.
January 1, 2015
I found out that Hidekaz Himaruya has mental problems, because no normal person would do this kind of stuff. All he wants is to psychologically torture people. And I'm going through this painful process.
The second episode was Japan trying to live normally during his torturous trip to Drunkland, that it my eyes is him being literally dragged down to Hell. It showed him watching the news at the living room when suddenly his drunken side yanked him out of the couch and dragged him to the drunken axis and allies' World Meeting.
I'm surprised this wasn't classified as a horror anime. The world meeting was very chaotic. Drunk America walking and dancing on the table in only his boxers, Drunk Italy eating pasta sloppily (Just like Chibi Derf), Drunk China...fucking his giant Hello Kitty plushie, Drunk England poledancing in his waiter dress, Drunk France flirting with Drunk England, Drunk Russia just...drinking a HUGE gallon of vodka and Drunk Germany twerking on the wall. I have been horrified by this abysmal scene, and I'm sure it will give me nightmares for the rest of my life, because I'm completely not making a big deal out of a vulgar comedy scene.
Anyways, the seven drunk nations greeted Japan through removing all of his clothes and putting a magical girl suit on. The rest of the episode showed them talking about random stuff. Yet in a very horrific manner that I don't want to show you.
Why is the show so merciless to this poor sober creature? Why is Japan treated like shit? Why is torturing a poor innocent Japanese man comedy? It's sickening how this thing exists.
January 6, 2015
It's me again. The show REALLY gave me nightmares. Haunting nightmares. Featuring me being teleported to Drunkland and never being able to get out. I hope this doesn't truly happen to me. Because I'm already getting enough pain and suffering.
The third episode was Drunken Japan getting his sober self to participate in a twerking competition. I literally cried seeing Japan watching all of the drunken hetalians twerk. They were all shaking their asses in very different manners, but they were equally horrific to me. When it was normal Japan's turn, he didn't go, but from nowhere his drunken self whispered to Drunken England to take out his spellbook and wand so his sober self would dance. And with the spell, he did...a very odd dance. It was painful to watch him suffer. And he surprisingly won the competition.
As I saw this episode, I realized something. Japan's drunken self is a sadistic, insane, demented, purely evil monster, while his sober self is a poor little soul who is suffering in this world that it's the deepest crevice of hell. I'll be truly in the gates to death soon.
January 14, 2015
I pity for my own soul, who is weeping and being brutally tortured by this insane abomination. My external face is also sobbing in pure pain, darkness and despair. Each episode is worse than the previous. And I wasn't prepared for this terrifying fourth episode. I still can't get this episode out of my face.
The fourth episode was about Drunken Japan trying to seduce his sober self. Yes, he literally lusts after him. It just showed Japan trying to be in peace, yet his drunken self had to appear everywhere in goes, the lingerie he is wearing get progressively more disturbingly skimpier. He even wore a french maid dress in one scene. It was painfully sad to see Japan wanting to be left alone, yet his privacy is being invaded by a demented monstruosity from Hell that might be Satan himself.
Now I've had it. I see Japan as a real thing. My insides are rotting just by imagining it. My heart is hardening and bleeding, I'll meet my demise in this 20th year of my existence.
January 28, 2015
The fifth episode. I can't take it anymore. I'll stop watching this. But this monstruosity from Hell scarred me for life. It traumatized my soul. I love my friends and family, but now it's time to say goodbye. You will see why below.
The sixth episode was about normal Japan going to his world accompanied by his drunken self. He wanted to know every single thing about his house, his family, the Axis, the Allies, literally everything. The poor sober one was already getting very uncomfortable.
Then, the drunken Japanese man introduced himself to Germany and Italy crazily, and the two countries looked at his sober self like he was retarded. Kiku just explained in shame what happened.
Then, the Axis plus Kiku's drunken self went to the World Meeting, and the inebriated man just caused chaos there. He revealed many secrets in front of the others, and he twerked on the table for everyone without the lower part of the blue kimono he was wearing so everyone could see his boxers.
The episode just ends with Drunken Japan evoluting into a Greek god for some reason, and he induced drunkenness and madness to everyone (Except the Axis) and Germany, Japan and Italy just watched how chaotic the world became.
I can't take it anymore. My soul is gone now, and most of my emotions too. The only emotions I have is sorrow and wrath. I am walking to the gates of death right now. I just couldn't watch this poor little soul suffer anymore. I hope Hidekaz Himaruya burns in Hell. Goodbye.
Aftermath
The last journal from January 28 was entered shortly before Takashi's death.
His sister discovered him lying on the floor, dead. Bleeding, with blood. And with a bottle of sake with knifes glued to it shoved up his ass.
Credited to HelenaScarlet
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