EVIL SANDAYYY

It was a hot summer night and the beach was burning when EVIL PATRIXXX took another victim- this time, a family of squirrels in the Texas panhandle. The only one who survived was a baby squirrel that animal control discovered crying in it's nest.

Along side the squirrel, police have found a letter which was written on the back of a floating shopping list in a black sharpie marker, and a hydro-dynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive, faintly illuminated under the baby's blanket. The zookeeper who was locked in the closet during the time claimed she smelled the lingering odor of wet fur and found grits on the baby's crib. But who was it from? Animal control were able to decipher the writing on the floating shopping list and here's what it said:

EVIL PATRIXXX,

If you are reading this, know that no matter how many innocent victims you claim or how much innocent blood you shed, I'm still coming for you in the end. All of the men and women you so viciously slaughtered and disemboweled, I beat you to it. I killed them not because I hate them, I imagined those victims were you as I took their lives. It was the mere vision of you that made me kill them. I never did like you, you pin-headed, grinning, tubby, pink-skinned son of a bitch.

My black eyes may look like I'm void of vision, but I'm not stupid. Just remember, the night that you creep into a poor girl's bedroom, you're gonna fall head over heels down the fucking stairs with your guts jammed through a tuba after you kicked me. Tonight, when I reach you, evil will battle evil, winner kills all, and the only one who will not get out alive is you. I'm coming. Nobody makes fun of Texas.

Signed,

EVIL SANDAYYY

Under the hydro-dynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive, one of the officers found an animated gif of a hyper-realistic squirrel doing karate moves. EVIL SANDAYYY's picture. Below is her face captured on the screen below:

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