Ed, Edd n heartbreak
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"Keep pushing, Plank!"
A 30 year old Plank sat in a hospital bed giving birth, clenching the hand of his 34 year old lover, Jonny 2x4. He had gotten pregnant as a piece of wood because reasons.
About 72 hours later, Plank had given birth to a baby boy named Sheldon. Upon seeing Sheldon, Jonny realized that the baby didn't resemble he or Plank, but their old childhood friend, Edd (or as they usually called him, "Double D").
Once Sheldon, Plank and Jonny left the hospital, Jonny got into a big fight with Plank.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Plank?!" Jonny shouted, bursting into tears. "I thought I was Sheldon's other father!"
"I'm sorry, Jonny!" Plank cried. "I just couldn't resist Double D's thiccness!"
Jonny slapped Plank. "I thought we had something special!"
Plank just stood there, shaking and crying.
"Answer me, bitch!"
"Double D's a lot nicer than you are..." Plank said, trembling.
"You take that back!" Jonny shouted.
"Double D doesn't yell all the time," Plank said, now furious. "Besides, he's got a great body, unlike you!"
Jonny slapped Plank again. "GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE."
"But-"
"GET OUT. NOW."
Plank took Sheldon in his arms and ran out of the house, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Dear God, what have I done?" Jonny said, realizing what he had done.
Meanwhile, upon realizing that he was Plank's baby daddy, Double D hung himself. Plank did the same, and left Sheldon alone in the woods to be raised by coyotes. Jonny then spiraled into a deep depression and never felt happiness again.
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