Everybody Loves Raymond

Everbody Loves Raymond was an American television sitcom that aired from September 13, 1996 to May 16, 2005. The show starred Ray Romano, Patricia Heaton, Brad Garrett, Madylin Sweeten, Doris Roberts, Peter Boyle, and Monica Horan. The show revolved around experiences based off of Ray Romano's and Phil Rosenthal's real lives, with the main characters also being loosely based on this. I hated this show to no end though, however. It always brought back horrifying childhood memories of horrific things, such as when my father beat me, or when my mother would scold me for not getting a good grade on an assignment at school, or getting home late. The reason it brought back such memories is because every day when I would arrive home from school at about 4:15, the show was always on, with both of my parents watching it. These weren't the most horrifying memories that it brought back though. The worst memory that I had of this was December 7th, 2001. I came home from school that day and thought that I was just going to sneak past my parents and go upstairs to my room and play Super Smash Bros. Melee, which I had just bought, along with my Nintendo GameCube. That game had been my getaway for a day or so, and I also really enjoyed it. My favorite character at that point was Mr. Game and Watch. At the time though, I had no idea who this character was or what he was from. I found out near the release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii that he was not just a single character, but more of a representative of all of the Game and Watch series of handheld games that Nintendo had made in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Anyway, I walked into the house, and there was not a single sound other than the sound of Everybody Loves Raymond blaring from the TV. I thought that maybe my parents had went out or something, but then I remembered that their car was still in the driveway and that the door was not locked when I came in, so I knew that they were home. I thought this was kind of strange, so I slowly and quietly walked into the living room, and what I saw scarred me forever. There were my parent's heads, decapitated, hanging from the ceiling. Their bodies were laying on the floor in a pool of blood that extended all the way to the edges of the living room. Their heads were hanging from the ceiling fan, and when I was going to get the phone to call the cops, I accidentally pressed the button to turn on fan. Their heads started spinning around and around, and blood and organs started splattering everywhere. I tried my hardest to turn it off, but for some reason it wouldn't turn off. I thought fuck it and decided to walk over to the phone to call the police. I picked up the phone and there was no dial tone. There was instead a message that said that the phone had been disconnected. I found this very odd though, because if the phone was disconnected, then the TV should have been disconnected (because we had cable). I looked over to the TV to see if it had a message that it had been disconnected or something of the like, but there was nothing like that. Instead, however, there was just the show that I "loved" so much blaring as loud as it fucking could, Everybody Loves Raymond. I was really pissed about this, so I went to turn off the TV so when I went and got the cops that it wouldn't be blaring in their eardrums annoying the fuck out of them like it did with me. I walked over to the TV and pressed the power button, but nothing happened. So, I found the remote on the floor, not anywhere near the pool of blood that was around my parents bodies, and tried to turn it off that way. Still though, nothing. I thought that maybe it was the batteries, so I went into the kitchen and got 2 AA batteries and put them in the remote and pressed the power key again. Once again, nothing happened. I thought that maybe it was just that they weren't working or something, so I decided that unplugging the thing would end it. I walked over to the outlet and unplugged the TV. The TV went off for about 30 seconds, and in that 30 seconds I tried to see if any of the other phones in the house worked, but no, none of them worked either. I walked back into the living room, and when I did, the TV came back on, with that same, awful, piece of shit show playing. This time, however, it wasn't just some shitty unfunny comedy done by Ray Romano. No, this time was very, VERY different. Ray looked toward the screen and started to talk to me. I thought that he couldn't be talking to me though, and that he was just talking to the viewer audience. But no, he was indeed talking to me. He said, "Who do you think did this, Timmy?" I was thinking to myself "What the fuck, how did he know my name?" I said that I didn't know who did this, but that I was going to call the police so then they could find out who did. He then said "No Timmy, it was me who killed your parents." I was thinking to myself "WHAT THE FUCK? HOW COULD HE HAVE DONE IT?" I then asked him out of curiosity how he did it. He then replied to me "I didn't do it personally, I just hypnotized your parents while they were watching this show. I told them to abuse and yell at their child for no reason, and that child of course, was you. One day, when they were on about the 2nd season, I told them to hang themselves from the ceiling fan, and to chop off their heads with a knife." I didn't notice a knife at the time that I first looked, but sure enough, there were 2 kitchen knives laying on the floor, next to the dead bodies in the pool of blood. "Why did you do this?" I asked. "You hated your parents, didn't you. I thought I was doing you a favor." I then said, "Yes, I did indeed hate my parents, but I didn't want you to fucking kill them. I just wanted them to start being better parents and to stop physically and verbally abusing me and going out to parties and drinking all the time." "Well then, you technically got what you wanted. You now have a whole house to yourself and you can play games, go out with your friends as late as you want, and get bad grades all you want." This isn't what I wanted at all though. What I wanted the most out of the whole thing was to not have to watch your shitty show or have to even hear a single sound from your show." Ray started to get really mad and started shaking more than an earthquake, and pulled out a very large knife. He said "YOU'LL GET JUST WHAT YOUR PARENTS DID YOU LITTLE BITCH!" He started to hit the knife against the TV screen, and the screen started to crack. I thought this was just a special effect though, or something of the like, but it wasn't. I saw glass from the TV fall to the floor. He shattered all of the glass and stepped out of the TV. I had no idea how or why this was possible, or if it was even real, but indeed, this was real. I ran towards the door, and as I did, Ray started chasing me. He was yelling, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I made my way out of the door and ran down toward the police station. I told them that a man was chasing me, and that the man had killed my parents, but they didn't believe a single word I said. They drove to my house to see if it was true, and when we walked into the living room, nothing was wrong. My parents were sitting on the couch and watching Everybody Loves Raymond as if nothing had happened. The TV was plugged in, and there was no blood anywhere. My parents turned around and asked where I had been and why the police were there. I told the police that I wasn't lying, but they said not to pull pranks on them just for some sick laughs. I told that it did happen may more times, but they didn't believe me and eventually left. Afterwards, my dad beat me with his belt and my mom yelled at me for running and getting the cops as a joke. But it wasn't a joke. It actually happened. You may not believe me, but just take my word for it. This is why I hate that show more than anything else. Don't watch this show unless you want the same things that happened to me to happen to you.

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