Evil Patrixxx Illegally fun Game
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NSFW WARNING
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I was in a dark room when all of a sudden a red dot was there. It came towards me but it was too late. I knew for a fact it was EvilPatrixxx.exe.
Let me start at the beginning. I went to my next door neighbor's house and conveinently like every single gaming creepypasta he had a yard/garage sale. Being a moron with no common sense I decided to check it out even though I was only 21 years old and my neighbor was a known sex offender and 80 years old and scared the shit out of me. I saw a game on the shelf that interested me, "Evil Patrixxx PC mega edition." I asked how much for the game, and he broke down screaming "TAKE IT... JUST TAKE IT PLEASE... I BEG OF YOU... PLEASE..." Free game in my eyes. I thought it was a bit strange he was yelling and begging for me to take such a gem of a game, but I shrugged it off like the average idiot. I did a triple-flip through the fucking wall back into my house and put the game in my PC. It required me to install all the files like old games, which was weird to me because what the fuck this is 2014 why are old games even exist lol. So I downloaded it all and got some strange message from my anti-virus. "FILES ARE UNSAFE. DO NOT OPEN. REMOVE THEM IDIOT." I had no idea what my anti-virus was talking about so I ignored it and played my new game.
At the start menu it was a picture of Evil Patrixxx, but for a split second when I hit start he had black eyes and red pupils dripping HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD, and the logo in the middle was all rusted and old, possibly a secret message. Yea it was cliche so I just pretended not to see that part even though in one split second I was able to see all that.
When I started the game, a level called "Evil Green Hill Zone Act 666" popped up. I shat my pants. The word ZONE gave me heebie jeebies. When the game started it seemed normal except for the hyper-realistic blood everywhere that seemed very cartoony to me so i shrugged it off as a glitch. I started with 666 rings too for some reason. Another glitch. Asides from the word "zone" being plastered on to the level name, it seemed legit. Sonic also had black eyes with red pupils, just a texture bug I guessed. So I began playing. I held left for what seemed like a few minutes. The strangest thing was: I had 6 minutes and 69 seconds (teehee) to beat the level. When I began to run low on time a scary song began to play. I thought, I only have 18 lifes, if I die, could it be a permanent death? I ran as fast as Sonic could which was surprisingly slow and at 0:02 I beat the level, only to see Evil Patrixxx appear and rip Sonic limb from limb. Hyper-realistic cartoon blood was everywhere and I could see the PURE HORROR on Sonic's face as he was disassembled, because seeing expressions on pixels is fucking easymode for badass people like myself.
Anyway I shrugged this death off as a glitch and kept playing. Level 2 was in "Scream or Spring Yard for Kids! Act 123" which almost struck me as odd, but since the last level was a hacked game meant this made sense. The level looked absolutely stunning. I was taken aback by the immense amount of detail in the Crabgivers and Knuckle's face spoke to me. Sadness, anger, depression. All caused because the level had such intense graphics in the blood, and it was everywhere. I noticed I slipped when walking on it, which was odd because blood is sticky. The crabs seemed normal enough, except I noticed one stared at the screen and through my soul. I felt like he could see me. I felt helpless. I just killed it with a spindash and kept on going. It was probably a glitch anyway. At the end of this level there was no Evil Patrixxx but I did notice what my score said apparently the whole level. "Why are you still playing?" I wondered. This game was pretty fucking easy for a badass like myself.
Until the next level. The game froze at first, for what felt like 1 minute, was actually 60 seconds. I timed it while it froze. Illuminati confirmed. After it unfroze a super scary image of Evil Patrixxx.exe appeared that had the meme "I am god" above it. Weird. Turbo glitch or broken game, and as I pulled the disc out of the CD slot and was about to snap it in half and throw it out the window...
I didn't do that, so obviously I kept playing this incredible game because getting to level 3 for the first time ever in any video game was insane fun for me. I also enjoyed Sonic, Knuckles, Patrixxx, they are so hot, Only a fucking fool would have common sense anyway #yolo #swag #ebola #shrekisloveshrekislife #nohomo #swag x2 #hashtag
The game hit me with a game over screen. I guess that I lost. What. Fucking. Ever. So I screamed and broke the game never to play again.
Three hours later I was gonna go to bed but I caught this footage with my phone of Evil Patrixxx.exe in my bedroom. Pretty legit shit, gave me nightmares for two days. This meant one thing. I got the disc, taped it together, and played again. The game went pretty normally, Sonic teared up, Knuckles face, even the "I am god" picture. It all seemed so normal. Game Over again. But, I have no life or common sense because I'm 38 years old and still play Sonic and Patrixxx games so I just replayed the game over and over for 2 days straight.
Finally, something happened. Instead of game over, I got a continue screen, which looked normal so no screenshot. Just some blood with Sonic licking Tails' butthole asking if I wanted to continue. I hit start.
"Death Zone" Was the level. Didn't strike me as odd at FIRST, but then it hit me. No no, not that it was a Sonic 2 instead of Sonic 1 level screen, how hyper-realistic it was. No joke, look at it. You can see so much detail in such an old game. When the level started, it was even more hyper-realistic. The ms paint blood looked alot more detailed as you could see if I was able to upload screenshots from my Iphone. Metal Sonic thrust his body into Tails who died instantly. "I am god" screen appeared but was different. HYPER-REALISTIC, no joke look at that in the link below.
Next, a new game over screen was there. It looked like Evil Patrixxx had killed everyone... even Robotnik which would make anyone with common sense wonder, but those people don't exist in gaming creepypasta. To make things worse, it was hyper-realistic as well. (video link below)
After this I wanted to replay the game for such intense final level again, but it was different. All the level screens and levels were hyper-realistic this time, and the ms paint blood started to look a little real which gave me nightmares. I got to Tails's level again where I cannot control my character and he died. Then a familiar message appeared instead of game over.
"Tom,
I can't take it in the ass anymore, I wanted to be free of this thing some way before it was too early, and I was hoping you wouldn't do it for me. I can't do it, he's in me, and if you don't snap this CD, he'll cum after you too, he's too slow for me....
Please Tom, fuck this Patrixxx-porn disc before he cums after you too, it's too late for my anus.
Fuck the disc, and you'll fuck him, but do it fast otherwise he'll kill you. Don't even watch the porn, it's what he wants, just fucking break it in half, I mean, it's just a disc.
Please..."
What the absolute fuck was he talking about. My name is Tim, NOT TOM. I looked at the screen and it said:
"Why couldn't you just have listened to your friend?"
Evil Patrixxx killed me with his turbo-sharp pink dildo.
P.S: You're next.
P.P.S: I forgot to say a skeleton popped out!!!1!one!
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