Fable II - The Puzzle
I absolutely love the Fable series. It may not be the best video game series in existence, but something about it just draws me in over and over. I've gone over all three games, especially the second two, with a fine-toothed comb again and again. Because of this, there was little content in the game that I hadn't seen before.
One thing I never really bothered with, though, was the demon doors. I don't know why. I suppose it was just one of those things that didn't catch my attention. The rewards that they offered didn't tend to impress me, though I never gave them much of a chance.
Well, a few weeks ago I was going through a gaming rut, feeling like playing something but not sure what task to set for myself - I posted on Facebook asking my friends what sort of Xbox achievement I should go for (yeah, I'm an achievement whore,) and one of them suggested that I go for unlocking the demon doors in Fable II. Well, why not?
Long story short, I made my way through a number of the demon doors without too much difficulty, finding them amusing, at least. I recalled that one of them was difficult to miss - one on the way to Bloodstone that bemoans a lack of music in his life. That was an easy one to figure out - pull out the lute, strum it, and ta-dah, the door was soothed and opened for me. In I went.
First Try
"Winter Lodge," the screen said. I ran down the snowy path, to see a cozy looking home with its door open invitingly. I paused before entering, recalling someone on the Lionhead forums saying that the Winter Lodge scared the crap out of them. Because of this, I was only mildly startled when I stepped inside and, with one short, high sound, the place instantly switched into darkness. In the dimmer light, I could see torture implements around the room, and skeletons of their victims here and there. Stepping back outside, there was a decapitated skeleton laying on the firewood stump. The lamps that had been hanging along the path became dangling body parts.
Two words: Fucking SWEET.
Yes, I'm a bit of a horror freak. When something like this happens in a game, I want to look all around, taking in every creepy detail. And I did just that, wandering around the place, zooming in on the skeletons, etc.
When I turned back around to face the beheaded skeleton on the stump, I noticed that there was now an exclamation point over it, the kind that indicated that there was a job available for me. Thinking that was an odd place for a woodcutting job to pop up, I, nonetheless, went over to try it out.
Have you ever started laughing just because something was so over-the-top terrible? This is exactly what happened to me. When the woodcutting minigame opened up, instead of a piece of wood sitting on the stump, a villager spawned sideways, head where the wood should have been. There was no special animation or anything for it; the villager was positioned as if he were just standing around Bowerstone, minding his own business. I thought that was lazy on the developers' part, but I didn't really care, I was so amused by the cartoonish cruelty - and so I played the minigame, swinging the axe down into the villager's throat. The villager flickered out of view, and another one respawned. I continued to do this, and watched the gold collecting as it would in the normal woodcutting game, my dog even doing his happy backflip when I got the gold multiplier up.
After a minute or so, though, I felt a little uncomfortable. It was funny at first, but when none of Fable's familiar humor came into play, it didn't feel like a normal evil quest, the kind that made you feel like a cartoon villain. I stopped playing the minigame, and decided I'd had my fun. I collected the sword out of the treasure chest, and tried to exit the area.
Every time I tried to do so, however, my character turned back around. I started pressing the analog stick harder, as if maybe the game just didn't hear me. Again, he turned back around.
Well, fuck. I didn't want to risk saving and getting stuck there, so I restarted the game.
Second Try
Again, I entered the demon door, again, I stepped into the house, and, novelty worn out, retrieved the sword and tried to exit. The character turned back. Grunting, I decided there was some sort of puzzle in the area that I needed to solve, which led me to another search all around the place. Still, the only sign of a task was the exclamation point over the beheading stump. Reluctantly, I went to take the job again.
When the screen faded out and back in, I was disoriented. A duplicate of my own character was lying on the stump (albeit still in the standing position,) while the original was standing with the axe and ready to chop. I sat there staring at my screen for a minute, then gave in and gave the axe a swing. My character went limp on the stump, and the minigame stopped on its own. The duplicate of my character was still lying dead on the stump when I was back into normal playing mode, and, once again quite uncomfortable, tried to leave the area.
But, no, the character turned around as he had before. Chewing the inside of my cheek, I gave a little hum of confusion and closed out of the game again. At that point, I decided to give in and check Ye Olde Internet for how to get out of the Winter Lodge.
This search proved fruitless. All of the guides were the same - they discussed the lodge turning sinister, suggested that you pick up the master sword upstairs, and then, apparently, you were supposed to simply leave. They didn't mention the minigame at all.
Balls.
No matter how long I'm on the internet, it will always surprise me when there's a question it can't answer. I gave up and went to give the puzzle another go.
Third Try
This time, I decided to skip picking up the sword, even if that was the entire point of the demon door. I walked into the lodge, triggered the switch, and went to walk out. Nope, nope, nope. I sighed. 'You win,' I thought to myself as I walked to the beheading stump to try the minigame again.
My character raised his axe, and I jumped a bit when a familiar voice - the voice of the Commandant - recited his old line:
"I am going to hit you, and you are going to thank me."
Was he telling me to chop again? Not gonna lie, I was getting scared at this point. It was too out of character for the game. I considered my options, but didn't want the game to get the better of me (I mean, if I can play Amnesia without batting an eye, I could do this, right?) Since my character had already obeyed the Commandant's orders in the Spire like a good little candy-ass, I let him do so again, swinging the axe down with a thud.
Again, I jumped. You know how sometimes, when you kill a bandit in these games, he'll let out a painful yelp, almost like a dog? That noise barked through my speakers, and my character on the stump began spasming, ragdoll-thrashing all over the place. When I returned to normal gameplay, there my character's double remained, twitching and spazzing about.
Still, it wouldn't let me leave.
Final Try
This time, I didn't even go into the lodge to try and trigger the event. I walked into the door for the achievement, and tried to walk right back out. Nothing doing. My character turned back.
You know the drill by now. Search the house, get the sword, dawdle around for a while in hopes I didn't have to play that minigame again. I knew, however, that the minigame was part of the puzzle, so I went back to it.
"I am going to hit you, and you are going to thank me."
Thud.
My character on the stump went limp, axe still stuck through his neck. My character who had swung the axe disappeared. I stared. Now what? The bar on the screen was no longer telling me to do anything. It was just my character laying limp on the stump.
I moved the analog stick, and, to my surprise, found that I was now controlling him on the stump itself. Not that there was anything I could really do. He wiggled helplessly where he was, legs uselessly kicking at the ground.
And then, once again, I gave a start as the game had another little surprise for me. His eyes looked towards the screen, as if right at me. He made no expression, and had the vacant, rather stupid look to him that he usually wore. Still, I didn't like that the eyes were fixed right towards me, never moving as he struggled.
Again, that painful little yelp began sounding, although it was very quiet and his mouth didn't move. At that volume, it sounded more like whimpering. Every time he moved, a little noise of pain. My stomach was hurting. I would have been far more comfortable if the game had simply split his head from his body, complete with the nice, over-the-top spray of blood that Fable decapitations entailed.
Whimper, whimper, whimper.
Again, the Commandant's voice spoke.
"Beg. Beg me to show you mercy."
Oh, this again? That son of a bitch. As expected, the option to use an expression popped up - but, unlike the last time he had made that command, there was no option to defy, only to beg. I pressed it.
My character attempted to perform the beg expression, but his position made it impossible. As he attempted to lift his arms in a plea for his life, his arms clipped through the stump, and the body started glitching out, writhing and turning all the way around, as the head still faced me, still staring at me.
Fuck this shit. I felt like throwing up. At this point, I decided I just wasn't going to bother with the puzzle until someone could tell me how to solve it.
Surely I can't be the only one who's gotten stuck here, so if anyone knows how to get past this part, please let me know. I know I said I love horror, but this has worn out its welcome.
P.S. What the fuck, Lionhead? What the fuck?
Credited to Dogmeat the Stray
Originally uploaded on June 16, 2012
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