Feed Mee
When I was younger, simulation games were very popular. Me and my friends Trevor and Rudy would play them all the time. Our favorite one was called Mee!
It was all about creating these little people called "Mees" and making them do all kinds of crazy things, like ride motorcycles through rings of fire and jump off cliffs without parachutes. Most of them died horribly pretty quickly, but we managed to get quite a few of them to the max level.
We could even breed them with each other. They all had these cool stats- strength, perception, endurance, and so on. The goal was to breed the perfect Mee so that you could rule the Mee universe through them like a god.
The problem was, our friend Rudy wasn't very interested in how the game was supposed to be played. Instead, he bred the Mees together with things like bust, waist, hips, and gaming skills in mind. Soon he had the ultimate dummy thicc gamer gf. I should mention at this point that he was kind of weird.
He took that one Mee a little too seriously. Bought her the best equipment, gave her the best life. His obsession with her was a little scary. We kept telling him to let us play Super Plumber Bros or Excite Kart, but nope. He just wanted to pretend he actually had a girlfriend. So weird. Trevor got weird like that too when he got older, but not me. At any rate, Rudy started getting all these crazy ideas in his head about her.
"I wish I could have a kid with her," he told us one day while we were eating sandwiches.
I paused with my sandwich halfway to my mouth. "Come again?" I asked.
"I wish I could put a baby in her," Rudy replied defiantly.
Trevor blinked at him wearily.
"I'm serious!" Rudy laughed. "I mean, she's practically my wife at this point. Why not make it official by having kids with her?"
"Rudy, you're thirteen," I deadpanned.
"So what!" Rudy barked.
"Aren't you, like, the god of the Mee universe?" Trevor asked. "Wouldn't that be kind of creepy, having a kid with one of them? I read about this in the Bible once. An angel had a kid with a human woman, and it turned out to be a... thing with super strength that nearly wiped out the whole world."
We both blinked at Trevor. Trevor spent a lot of time reading the Bible. It was a hyperfixation on his part.
I turned to Rudy. "Quit acting so dumb, chum. Even if there was a way for you to get her pregnant, it probably isn't such a smart idea."
"Yeah, child support will add up fast, Rud," Trevor cracked.
"Oh, eat shit, both of you," Rudy growled.
We went back to our sandwiches.
—
The next day, sure enough, Rudy's virtual gamer gf was pregnant.
"I can't believe it!" I shouted.
"How?!" Trevor asked, dumbfounded.
Rudy gave us a sly look. "Let's just say you might not want to touch the game console's charging port anytime soon."
Trevor looked mortified. I closed my eyes to ride out some momentary pain.
"Anyway, look!" Rudy said, pointing at the screen. Sure enough, his gamer gf was heavy with her and Rudy's child. "You dumbasses were wrong, as usual. Eat shit!"
He laughed. "My gamer girlfriend's gonna have my baby, man. This is so dope!"
He bent over to look closer at her stomach in awe. Me and Trevor just exchanged a worried look.
More likely than not, this would not end well.
—
The next day, Rudy's gamer gf was dead. But she'd had her kid.
"Aw, what a shame," Rudy said, looking at the screen. She'd given birth to her kid, only for it to devour her with its claws and teeth. "But hey! I'm a father!"
He turned to us, elated, and raised a hand for a high five. We gave him a wary look.
"Rudy, this is insane," Trevor said bluntly.
"You need to power this game off before something crazy happens, man," I warned him.
"Don't be silly," Rudy replied arrogantly. "What could possibly go wrong?"
My eyes opened wide. "Dude, look!" I shouted, pointing at the screen.
Rudy raised an eyebrow at me dubiously. "What is this, Max? A trick?"
But there was no kidding. Rudy and his gamer gf's child was on the rampage. It was tearing all the other Mees apart with its claws and teeth, then devouring them raw. Rudy gazed at the screen in awe. "I don't believe it!" he cheered. "My kid is a badass!"
Me and Trevor took a step back, alarmed. We held up our hands. "Rudy, you need to shut that thing off!" Trevor warned. "Someone's going to get hurt!"
Rudy scoffed. "You're killjoys, the two of you! Get lost. My child will be far better company than the two of you could ever be!"
Offended, me and Trevor turned and walked out of the house.
And that was the last we ever saw of Rudy.
—
He was found dead a day later, mauled to shreds by vicious claws and teeth. The police said a dog or something had probably gotten to him. But me and Trevor knew better. That night, our hands shook as we powered on the video game console.
Rudy's child was gone. Me and Trevor exchanged a look, horrified.
There was only one explanation.
It was now loose in our world. But where?
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Credited to MalumLibrum958
Originally uploaded on November 2, 2022
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