Food Addiction

My name is not important. What is important is what's going on; this weird food addiction is fucking with my mind.

OK, so years ago in elementary school, I was really hungry, and I tend to eat whatever the fuck is thrown my way. So below the blackboard there was a lone piece of chalk. I ate it. It actually was pretty good, despite being, y'know, chalky I guess.

Alright, so you wanna hear the reaaaaal shit? Here goes. Throughout my high school years I kept eating chalk from the classroom. Doing so without getting caught. Then one day the teacher tried to do one of her BORING lectures, and then noticed the chalk was gone.

Oh fuck.

She then tells the class that we NEED this fucking chalk, and I couldn't give even more of a shit if I tried. So now I was with this weird kid (who I'm just gonna call "Chris") who saw me eat the chalk. I threatened to eat their face as a punishment, only for them to not move. High schoolers are fucked sometimes. We go to the supply closet, and I think we tripped balls or something because what happened next was some Alice in Wonderland type shit. I want to do it again.

So, because I actually have shit to do, I go to school early. Then this big "comedian" Drake comes up and calls me a "Barney the Dinosaur looking-ass" at the back of the school. I take one of the spare dodgeballs and cave his teeth in. That nerd kid tried to tell but I took one look at him and he cowered like the bitch he is. Swear that kid's going to break his arm one of those days...

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Credited to JustSomeWeirdBloke 

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