Freddy Fazbear's Wholesome 100 Redditor Adventure

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  NSFW WARNING

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

Freddy Fazbear sat in front of his computer, his eyes glued to the screen and his ass fused with his dirty, crumb stained swivel chair. Freddy had not showered in weeks, he had grown a neckbeard and instead of a top hat Freddy now wore a fedora. His enormous, 1,000,000,000 pound frame was covered with cheeto stains and grease from eating nothing but junk food all day, but that was irrelevant. Hygiene did not matter to him, all that mattered to him as his sweet sweet reddit karma and downvoting this post. "Oh my God!", the comment read. Preposterous! Saying "Oh my God" instead of "oh my science", what a fool, what an utter buffoon! Did this troglodyte not know that God was nothing more than a fairy tale? A mere book written in the desert by a bunch of con artists. Freddy issued this cretin a downvote for his appalling stupidity. Only intellectuals such as himself were allowed upvotes and positive karma, and nobody who says "oh my God" unironically is in any way an intellectual.

Chica came into the kitchen room to lay eyes upon the mountain of piss jars that stood in between her and the obsese brown bear animatronics that sat glued to the dim light of his screen. "F-Freddy, it's 12 AM. D-do you wanna come out and play?"

Freddy turned around in his swivel chair, his bloodshot, beady red eyes staring right into Chica's soul as he turned around to look at her. Even the likes of Springtrap would be horrified at the depraved, ravenous, bloodthirsty look that took over Freddy's eyes as he simply stared at Chica. The demented eyes of a man who was terminally online, who had no intention of stopping until he had downvoted every last post that dared to disagree with him, that dared to foster an opinion different to his own.

"No!" Freddy said in a demented, gurgling voice. "I... must... submit this to r/Pewdewpiesubmissions". Freddy croaked. "PewDewPie will finally see... how HILARIOUS I am! How utterly FUNNY and WHOLESOME I am for my creative and cultured Big Chungus meme!"

"O-okay, good luck with that." Chica said, visibly uncomfortable from the site of the greasy, cheeto stained bear, surrounded by his piss jars and anime body pillows. As soon as Freddy was done submitting his wholesome and epic meme to r/Pewdewpiesubmissions, he began to feel rather horny. That was when he remembered that it had been thirty minutes since Freddy had last watched porn. Thirty whole consecutive minutes. He pondered how he was able to even survive that long without his daily dosage of erotic material to supplement him and his primal urges. No matter, he could always rely on his favorite kitten to supply him with the necessary fuel his penis requires to stay pleasured.

He typed her name in the search bar of reddit, and soon enough, there he was. His bloodshot eyes became even more ravenous and luscious as he gazed upon Toy Chica's reddit profile. What a beautiful snoo, he thought to himself, and that wasn't nearly as beautiful as what was about to cum next. He clicked the link to Toy Chica's onlyfans and grabbed his mother's credit card in order to pay for his personalized porn session. His large, meaty sweaty hands clutched his wet, hairy dick which was saggy and limp from years and years of mastraubation. He began to jerk himself off at light speed as Toy Chica spread her delicious chicken asscheeks across the screen. For Freddy was a hungry bear, and right now chicken looked like the perfect meal.

Once the session was over Freddy closed out of onlyfans and went back to Reddit. Today was the day, the day that Freddy would eloquently slide into Toy Chica's dms and claim her as her own. His introduction was so epic and there was no way she would be able to resist him. With his sweaty, cheeto and cum stained hands he typed his beautiful sentence:

"hello, my lady. I have been watching you for a while. I have followed your profile and know everything about you, including, but not limited to, your favorite color, your birthday, and the name of your mother. I am your biggest fan, and if you accept my offer for courtship, I will show you what a real gentleman is like. I hope you do take my offer, in fact I don't simply hope you take my offer, I know you will take my offer, I mean who wouldn't? Thank you in advance, mlady."

Freddy eagerly waited for her reply. He knew that Toy Chica would fall for him head over heals after seeing that elegant wall of text, he just knew she would!

Oh my! It can't be, but of course it can be! Toy Chica is typing. No suprise really, for it was just meant to be. Freddy Fazbear clutched his rock hard veiny cock in his hand as he eagerly awaited her response. Oh he could not wait for her to accept his proposal, it was simply inevitable.

What???? A creep? This was not how Freddy had imagined it at all. Toy Chica, calling HIM a creep? After he had been such a nice guy to her??? The audacity! Freddy couldn't believe it! Righteously, and full of fury, he typed an 69 (nice) paragraph essay calling her a whore and a bitch. That would show her! Freddy Fazbear crossed his arms smugly, and waited 3 seconds until typing her another paragraph saying that he was giving her a second chance and that she may still be able to take his offer. But this time, when he finished the message, it did not send. Blocked??? How dare she! After he had not only been a nice guy to her AND he gave her a second chance? Unwholesome, unepic, nobody liked that. He then went through her profile and downvoted every comment and post she made, while making sure to reply to every said comment and post in order to announce what he had done. Stupid whore, this will surely teach her a lesson on how to treat nice guys like himself.

What was that? Freddy got a new notification. Someone must have replies to one of his posts. What did it say? Freddy looked at the notification to find out, and find out he did. He did not like it one bit. His favorite type of drawing is scat? Ridiculous! These are simply normies who do not understand culture! Downvoted!

Freddy continued to browse reddit, his hands sweating profusely. He had gotten notice that a troll in his many subreddits in which he moderated had been causing trouble. Oh ho ho! He knew this game all too well. It was one of Springtrap's many alt accounts. Freddy issues a ban on Springtrap's newest account, which went under the username of Burn_Trap. There was no way that Springtrap could come back now.

Freddy went onto r/politicalcompassmemes and saw that it was based as always, filled with libleft bad memes in addition to potraying the latter as the soyjak. How it should be. Freddy signed in satisfaction at these epic memes as he took a swig from his can of moutain dew fused with G fuel. Freddy Fazbear was sure nobody had ever thought of that before, fucking troglodytes. Why settle for one or the other when you can have both in one package, his good friend Enneard always said. But soon he visited the comment sections of a very epic authright meme (gamer word = funny, only men of culture understand) and saw something very peculiar. An account under the name of Balloon_Boy with a libright flair proclaimed that the free market was good??? Unthinkable! Freddy decided that he must engage in an internet argument with this 13 year old child at once in order to prove his superiority and dominance. Freddy absolutely destroyed this cringe libright child by proclaiming how epic authoritarian right values are, and how cringe he is for supporting anarcho capitalism. Then he did the one thing he knew would ensure his victory, the thing that not one person can come back from that will destroy their very argument to it's core. Freddy laughed and evil and devious laugh as he finished creating his meme portraying Balloon Boy as the soyjak and him as the chad. He grinned with sadistic delight as he clicked "post" and submitting his epic meme for the entirety of PCM to see. This would show him! And this would guarantee victory!

Freddy then scrolled through r/bigchungus, laughing at wholesome memes, until he came across a horrifying site. An account under the name of Mike_Schmidt_67 had posted a comment with an emoji! Unthinkable! Unacceptable! Did he not know where he was? He was on reddit! Reddit is too epic and wholesome for emojis! Emojis are cringe, and are the mark of an Instagram normie. Immediately Freddy Fazbear heaved his way out of his swivel chair, and with his entire body jiggling with fat, Freddy Fazbear made his way towards the office. The floor shook with every step Freddy Fazbear took, he breathed heavily and laboriously, huffing and puffing as his asscheeks moved up and down like a tsunami every time he moved his body.

Soon he reached the office, his morbidly obsese, grease stained frame taking up the entire doorway. Mike Schmidt looked up in horror at Fazbear towered over him. "That was not epic, Michael. emojis are cringe and not allowed on reddit." Freddy said "nobody liked that!" Mike screamed in terror as Freddy Fazbear locked Mike in a chokehold, his crushing weight rendering the scrawny security guard helpless against the might of his aggressor. Freddy dragged Mike to the parts and service room, where he forcefully stuffed the security guard into an empty Freddy Fazbear suit. Mike screamed as his eyeballs and teeth popped out of the front of mask, until it soon went silent and Mike was resigned to his fate. Trapped in an eternal tomb. "We did it, boys!" Freddy typed as he posted the picture of newly stuffed cringe emoji user to r/mademesmile. Everyone liked that. Freddy also posted the original comment sporting the emojis to r/iamatotalpieceofshit, where everyone laughed at how cringe Mike was.

Satisfied, Freddy labored his way back to the kitchen, where he made a large, earth shattering THUD as he plopped back down in his gamer chair. Volcanoes around the world, active, dormant, and inactive alike, all erupted. There were earthquakes in all 50 states as well as each and every continent. Sea levels rose to an all time high as the entire east and west coast became engulfed in the massive waters unleashed by Freddy Fazbear's 5,000,000 gazillion pound reddit ass. There were cracks on the floor of the kitchen under Freddy's swivel chair, but Freddy ignored it and logged back onto his pc.

Hmm, it appears Freddy Fazbear's torrent of Rick and Morty had just gotten done downloading. Very schwifty. Freddy laughed as he watched the show, chortling a deep, satisfied belly laugh at jokes that he knew nobody else would get. I mean, how could they? Only intellectuals such as himself would understand such sophisticated and complex humor. After all, Rick and Morty was created and catered exclusively for those of higher cerebral capabilities, and no normie or simpleton could understand the complex and philosophical humor that Rick and Morty posessed. Freddy chuckled to himself imagining the average simple minded clod attempting to wrap their head around the Genius of Dan Harmond's artistic masterpiece. What fools!

Freddy soon exited reddit and checked his discord. In addition to being a reddit power moderator, he was also a moderator of a vast many discord servers. He went to check up on his kitten, who is definitely of age, and then he proceeded to ban anyone who disagreed with him. He pinged everyone in the announcements and said the n word, because as you know the n word is peak comedy.

Freddy saw that Funtime Freddy, Mangle, Ennard, the Puppet, Phantom Freddy, and Toy Freddy were all online. Very epic. But wait, what was that on Toy Freddy's status? "Playing: Fortnite..." No! This could not be! This had to be ironic! Toy Freddy would never!

He dmed Toy Freddy saying "please tell me this is ironic." And was left without a response. He looked at Toy Freddy's profile and sure enough there was footage of Toy Freddy playing not other than Fortnite at this time. Then he got a response from Toy Freddy. "Yeah I'm playing Fortnite, what's the big deal? At least I don't still play Minecraft." Freddy was in shock, his bloodshot eyes wide with disbelief and horror and his jaw hanging wide open. Did he not only play Fornite, but also disrespect Minecraft??? This was outrageous! This was cringe and unwholesome! Keanu Reeves would not approve. Freddy Fazbear prepares to commit a crime...

Freddy got up once again, causing not only another earthquake but for the entire solar system to break apart and scatter across the galaxy. Freddy soberly tiped his fedora and grabbed his katana as he kissed his Keanu Reeves poster and his Big Chungus poster that were epicly hung up on the kitchen wall, and made his way to teach Toy Freddy a lesson. Freddy made his halfway to the door outside of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza before he collapsed on the ground and called the server bots to carry him a stretcher. The bots struggled under Freddy's enormous weight, but soon SoulDozer came and, with tremendous straight and enormous strength, managed to lift Freddy Fazbear's 1,000 pound ass onto the stretcher and carry him into the freight truck.

Eventually the truck arrived at the FNaF 2 pizzeria, and Freddy was ready to do what he had to do. He made his presence known as he crushed the ground beneath him with every step. Lava bursting through the earth as he inched nearer and nearer to the New and Improved Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Freddy broke the doors from their hinges with the sheer force of his gargantuan weight, stomping through the doorway to finally teach Toy Freddy his lesson once and for all. Nobody disrespects Minecraft and plays Fortnite! Nobody! Toy Bonnie ran in fear as Freddy made his way to the show stage, the tables in the game room being thrown upside down due to the sheer impact of his weight as he walked towards Toy Freddy. Nothing else mattered, the only thing that mattered now was Toy Freddy's destruction. The curtains of the stage were closed. "Ha! He must be hiding, what a coward!" Freddy thought. "Toy Freddy!" Fazbear bellowed. "Come out of hiding at once! Your time has come! Your end is inevitable! You cannot prolong it, you cannot hide from it! So do yourself a favor and come on out of there, and perhaps your death will be somewhat quick and painless compared to what awaits you if you resist, which is far more than what you deserve!"

At first there was no response. Freddy waited... and waited...

Then, a sound could be heard from behind the curtains of the show stage. A muffled, stifled sound that Freddy Fazbear could barley make out at first, but soon became clearer to his range of hearing.

"Really, you're crying? That is pathetic, fortnite normie. Admit it, you lost."

But soon Freddy began to realize that the sound he was hearing wasn't crying. No, it was chuckling.

"What the? What's so funny?"

The chuckling began to become louder, and soon the sounds evolved from chuckling to laughter. Loud, maniacal, echoing laughter. He was laughing at Freddy, laughing at the bear who was supposedly here to kill him.

Then, a voice spoke from behind the curtain.

"Oh, you poor, poor, fool. You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into, do you?"

"What do you mean? Answer me or else I will ban you from every subreddit!"

"You may have been able to emerge the victor in your battles before, Fazbear. But this time you cannot win."

"And why is that?"

A large silhouette moved behind the curtain, as if something huge, something monstrous was lurking there.

"ANSWER ME!!!"

Then the curtains to the show stage flung open. Freddy looked as far upwards as the pocket of fat where his neck should be allowed him too. His bloodshot eyes frozen with disbelief as an enormous shadow was cast over him. Standing in front of him was an enormous neckbeard animatronic bear, with rosy red cheeks, sporting a black fedora with a red stripe. Piss bottles were littered all across the show stage, with a pile of crusty, cum stained anime body pillows lined across the wall. Back behind the wall in the center of the show stage was a three monitored computer, one monitor on fortnite, the other playing hentai, and the third one in the middle of the other monitors logged onto League of Legends.

Toy Freddy brandished his own katana, and as he lumbered his way towards Freddy, multiple rips in the fabric of space time appeared all across space and time. He took a swig from his mountain dew and threw it on the ground as he got closer and closer to Freddy Fazbear.

"You see now, libtard? You have used your girth and your massive weight to win against any foes that come your way, because they are normies. But your tricks will not work on me. I am immune to such childish games. You cannot win against me, Me and you are one and the same!"

"You disrespect Minecraft and play Fortnite! We are not the same! YOU ARE NOT WHOLESOME!!!"

Freddy laughed a deep belly laugh.

"You believe that your silly games and your foolish karma and reddit points make your superior! I moderate more discord servers than you could join in your entire life! I have harassed more women on Xbox live than you ever will! What can you ever say you have against me???"

"You disrespected Minecraft... you play Fortnite! Nobody disrespects Minecraft and plays Fortnite!"

"But I just did. And you know what else I have to say, Freddy Fazbear?"

"What?"

"Big Chungus isn't funny."

That was the last straw! Upon hearing those words, a rage boiled up inside of Freddy Fazbear as duel of the fates began to play from an intangible source. Soon Freddy unleashed his katana and lunged at Toy Freddy. Toy Freddy blocked the attack and the two neckbeard animatronic bears begun to duel. The entire universe shook and began to tear open as the two gargantuan bears duked it out. Toy Freddy attempted to pounce on Freddy, and because of this the earth gave way and the two bears fell into the crack. When they landed they found themselves on the newly cracked floor of Ballora's gallery. Ballora twerked for them and both bears nutted simultaneously. When the two asked her to be their betrothed and Ballora said she had a boyfriend, they both chopped her up with their katanas in front of the horrified minireenas before they continued to duel. Soon, after Toy Freddy attempted to tackle Freddy, they both fell through the wall and into the caverns below the surface until they turned up at the old Fredbear's Family Diner, which was underneath Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizza plex. They dueled above the mountain of scrapped mall robots, as they dueled across the bridge their weight caved in and they fell into the pile of scrapped robots. The robots all died under the force of their combined weight, and when they did it let out a smell so bad that it put both of the bears, who were used to sleeping in their own piss and cum, into a coma right away.

Freddy and Toy Freddy woke up tied to a conveyer belt. Standing in front of them was a blonde haired, green eyed woman in a security uniform whose nametag read "Vanessa."

"Hello, m'lady." Freddy said "I would tip my fedora at you, but it seems I am a bit tied up. If you could assist me with my little predicament I would be happy to do so for you."

"Charming display from our little noob here, but clearly my Fedora is superior". Toy Freddy said "You will find that I am a much nicer guy than him, that is for sure."

"You troglodyte! Nobody is a nicer guy than me!" Freddy retorted. "Ignore this simpleton, Vanessa, he is very cringe and has negative karma. I am sure he doesn't even watch Rick and Morty, unlike me."

Vanessa laughed "what makes you think I am interested in dating any of you?" She scoffed.

"Uhh, because I mod many reddit and discord servers and can give you special privileges?" Freddy answered.

Vanessa laughed again "You really think you are superior mods, don't you? Your silly little discord servers are nothing!" Vanessa smirked with a smug look of superiority woven onto her face as she strode over to Freddy and Toy Freddy. Looking down upon them from where she stood. "You two cretins would not know real moderation even if it were to pop up and jumpscare you." Vanessa remarked "meanwhile, I moderate an entire pizza plex, and soon I will moderate even more than the likes of you could ever get your greasy, cheeto stained hands on!" Vanessa gloated as she continued to boast about her superior modmanship. "I am a greater mod than any of you could ever hope to be! Soon, there will be living proof of this fact. Too bad sending Springtrap to troll your subreddits did not succeed in ruining your reputation."

"Wait, you were behind Springtrap???" Freddy asked

"Yes I was, so that maybe Spez could see you for the utter normie that you are! But do not worry, once you two are out of the picture, I will become the ultimate power mod, and then I will overthrow Spez and become CEO of reddit. Then I will use my power to take over every other app, and once I succeed have control over everything on the internet!"

"Y-you can't be serious! T-that's insane!"

"It's not insane! It is the new era of the internet, an era where the most influential source of information is ruled by me and me alone! And all I have to do in order to make this possible is destroy the both of you using this trash compactor and I will be on my way to unlimited power! Prepare to log off, Freddy and Toy Freddy! You're going to be banned for a long, long time."

"Y-you can't be a powermod! You're not fat and you don't have a neckbeard!"

"I know. And that is why I will be greater than all of you. Your average crusty, fat, NEET, neckbeard, power hungry mod is one thing, and maybe such a mod can moderate a few measley subreddits. But imagine a mod who is hygenitc, who in good shape, takes care of herself, goes out of the house and is motivated to do what it takes to get ahead in the real world. Now that's a mod whose power would be unstoppable. You guys will always be nothing more than larpers, flaunting a false sense of power while you rot away in your mother's basement. You only have as much of a say as Spez lets you. But me, I will actually do something. And once two NEETs and Spez are out of the picture, I will rule the entire internet use my power to influence what happens in the real world! And I will do it all for myself and nobody else! Stay jealous, basement dwellers. What I am about to accomplish is more than you could ever hope to achieve in your miserable and meaningless lives. Sucks to suck!"

Vanessa smirked as she pressed the button that activated the conveyer belt which moved them inch by inch closer to the trash compactor.

"Oh, and don't even think about checking for your Katanas, I already destroyed them." Vanessa said, smiling smugly.

"Well, I guess this is it." Freddy said. "Yeah". Toy Freddy replied. Press F to pay respects." "I hope I get added to the Heaven meme." Freddy said "that would be epic and pog."

"Before I die, I want it to be known that I was the more epic gamer compared to you." Toy Freddy said. "What? That's ridiculous! I'm the better gamer!" Freddy proclaimed. "No, you are the cringe libtard, I am the epic gamer!" Toy Freddy argued. "No no no. I'm the epic gamer, you're the YTA!" Freddy retorted. "No YOU'RE the YTA" "THAT'S IT!!!" Freddy's sheer rage at being called the YTA broke his bonds and he tackled Toy Freddy off the conveyer belt.

"NO!" Vanessa shrieked.

The impact of the blow freed Toy Freddy from his bonds too and the bears began to fight fist with fist. The ground was shaking and the walls and ceiling were beginning to collapse and crack. Vanessa looks around the room, with panic and worry in her eyes. "No! No! No!" Toy Freddy attempted to doge Freddy's attack and fell on the floor doing so. Freddy attempted to leap on top of Toy Freddy, his fist in the air, hoping to strike him with a finishing blow. When Vanessa was what was happening she attempted to run away, but it was too late. Freddy missed epicly, and the sheer impact of Freddy's crusty, cheeto stained, gargantuan asscheeks colliding full force with the floor caused to ground to give way to an epic gyser that brust through the room, Freddy and Toy Freddy were lifted up onto the surface. Meanwhile Vanessa was sent uncontrollably hurtling through the sky until she disappeared through a hole in space time.

After Toy Freddy and Freddy came to their senses upon landing, the two bears continued to Duke it out. Causing volanoes to erupt and meteors to fall from the sky whenever they moved. Soon, the two bears decided that this pety kind of fighting was useless, and they agreed to settle thing in the most manly way possible: a Hentai mastraubation challenge.

The two quickly rushed to the pizza plex, now with a gaping hole in the ceiling and floor. Freddy and Toy Freddy summoned the Puppet to be their referee, to which the Puppet agreed. Soon enough, hentai was broadcast on every TV in the pizza plex.

Freddy and Toy Freddy both clutched their hands around their wet fat cocks. Their fat wiggled and thrashed around as they jerked off their sweaty, wet dicks harder than they had ever jerked off before. The stench of the two overweight neckbeards who had never seen a shower in eons wafted throughout the building, causing Glamrock Chica china to voluntarily break her own face using the trash compactor. The two manure smelling bears wheezed heavily as their fat, greasy hands aggressively jerked their meaty, rock hard crusty brown dicks. The earth shook as the brown bears jerked off. Instead of erupting lava the volcanoes now erupted cum. The rivers, lakes and oceans, once blue, reflective water turned sticky white. Every living perosn and animatronic who resided on the planet Earth grabbed their kleenex boxes and jerked in unison. The tips of Freddy and Toy Freddy's dicks were trembling and shaking, they were about to give way, there was no denying that. But who would give way first; that was the question.

Soon a tidal wave of cum erupted from both bears simultaneously at once. It was not one winner, it was both bears! It was a tie! The tidal wave of cum flooded the earth! Toppling cities, civilizations, air force bases and furry conventions! It was the true Armageddon, the end of times that the LORD had warned us of in the book of revelations! It was as if the Earth itself had taken a big fat nut and it had exploded all over itself. There would never cum a time like this ever again.

Soon, the nutting was finished. The United States airforce was at work cleaning up the residue of cum through the use of aircraft carriers deploying a giant kleenex, which were created in 1962 in case JFK were to ever get so hard on Minecraft Creeper Girl porn that his nut would prove catastrophic. The US military and the United nations announced that 69 continents and 420 countries had been covered in semen (nice). And that it would take 69, 420 years to truly clean the, in their own words, "destruction 100 that had just occurred today." The world leaders soon burst out laughing after saying this, as this was a very funny reddit meme.

Soon, Freddy and Toy Freddy, both lying on the ground drenched in their own cum, came to their senses and attempted to stand up, only to find that they were to fat to achieve this.

"Iiiiit's... A TIE!" The Puppet declared "Congratulations, bros. I guess you're both epic gamers!"

"WHAT??? NO!!!" Toy Freddy shrieked. Toy Freddy in a fit of rage used the force to grab a toy lightsaber off the shelves of Glamrock Gifts, and after using the force to laboriously lift himself off the ground, he held the lightsaber up to Freddy's throat.

"Okay, I may powerful enough to give life and all, but I am not going to get myself involved with force users. Good day, Freddy and Toy Freddy!" The Puppet said as he skedaddled on out of there, leaving Freddy at the mercy of his toy counterpart.

"No! Th-thats not fair! We both tied!" Freddy said.

"No! There can only be one epic gamer and discord mod, and that is me!" Toy Freddy declared. "For all your talk of poggers and basedness, you truly are cringe."

"No! You can't do this to me!" Freddy cried. "I can do whatever I want!" Toy Freddy snapped "I am mod of a vast network of discord servers. More than you could ever moderate in your life. I have an entire army of kittens, each from all parts of the world, who will meow for me at my very command. You are an insult to moderators across the world, you are blocked by women whenever you try to enter their dms. I groom foids into being my dms!" Freddy smiled an evil, victorious smile as he loomed above Freddy, the dank, stinky smell of days old cheetos and potato chips wafting from his mouth as he spoke.

"Plebbit is cringe, you have no idea the power I hold. The sheer amount of based and epicness that radiates from where I come from!" "What? W-who do you think you are to disrespecte reddit? Where do you come from?"

Toy Freddy grinned.

"I come from 4chan. I live 4chan, and I breathe 4chan. I am a frequent poster on /r9k/, and I have been posting on that very fourm for centuries. You plebbitors think you are special, you plebbitors think you are something? Ha! You are normies, all of you! We on /r9k/ are the true enlightened on the internet, the blackpilled robots who laugh at plebs like you. You having taken a shower in centuries! I haven't taken a shower my whole life! You need to shit on fortnite and Instagram to make yourself feel like you are superior, to make yourself feel that you have even an ounce of being special and different from the rest, because deep down, you know you are normies. Just bland, cringe, and bluepilled normies. Look at how you laugh at us 4channers, we are the true dumpster of the internet. We get memed, made into copypastas, posted onto r/cringetopia for normies like yourselves to laugh at. But that only confirms what we already know, that we are the ones who are truly not normies. We are the true redpilled doomers, and that is why we will always be victorious! And now that I have mogged you, you will simply be another cuck plebbit mod killed on the path I made that will soon make way the beta uprising! For the Chads and normies to become our slaves, and for the Stacies to become government property, distributed and sold to blackpilled men such as myself so that we are finally given the sex we are owed!"

"Oh my science! E-even for a redditor like me who calls women whores in dms this is actually insane!"

"And what are you going to do about it? Oh that's right, you won't do anything about it. Because by the time this is over, you will be cucked and dead, while I will be walking away one step closer to mogging the foids and normies!"

"N-no..." Freddy croaked as Toy Freddy drew his toy lightsaber to strike Freddy down, with a smug smile all across his face.

"Goodbye, Plebby Cuckbear."

Freddy closed his eyes, bracing in anticipation for his inevitable demise.

But at that very moment, Big Chungus fell from the sky, crushing Toy Freddy beneath his massive weight. Freddy looked up in awe: was he dreaming? Was he in Heaven? Nonsense, there is no such thing as Heaven! Freddy pinched himself! Ouch! Yep, this was real. This was happening! Big Chungus, the legend, the God, Big Chungus himself! It was breathtaking! It was wholesome 100!

"Eh, what's up, doc?"

"B-big Chungus? I-is it really you?"

"The one and only!"

"W-wow, I never thought I would get the chance to meet the real Big Chungus!"

"There's always a first time for everything, doc!"

"W-wow! Just... wow! I am speechless! T-this is incredible! T-thank you so much for saving my life out there, if it wasn't for you I would have been killed by that unwholesome incel! That would have been so cringe!"

"Fear not my child, for I would never let such cringe come to pass on my watch. You have made my proud today, my pogchamp. On this day, you have shown yourself to posess the spirit of a true epic redditor. Your actions were extremely poggers, and I have seen few thing more based and breaktaking."

"W-wow! You really mean it?! I-I don't know what to say! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! T-take my gold as an award!"

"No, you take my gold! You are wholesome 100!"

Freddy Fazbear jumped up and down excitedly with a gigantic soy expression all across his face! "Thank you Big Chungus! Thank you Big Chungus! Oh my God this is so wholesome, this is so poggers!"

"You are welcome, my child." Big Chungus said as he rose into the sky. "And as an award for your service, you are now at 69,420,000+ karma. With approximately 69 + 420 zeros added together."

"NICE!" They both exclaimed together while making the ok sign with their hands as Big Chungus ascended to the world of pog in a giant flash of light. Freddy started at the sky, in awe. Still amazed and trying to process the sheer wholesomeness in which he had laid his eyes upon.

The next day, Freddy Fazbear sat in front of his computer, his eyes glued to the screen and his ass fused with his dirty, crumb stained swivel chair. Freddy banned a user who had used an emoji in his subreddit (cringe). He has posted an epic lifeprotip which pointed out that dying will kill you. The crowd of reddit was astonished by his genius, he gained a lot of upvotes on that post. In any other circumstances the sheer genius of his protips such as that would render him speechless with amazement, but this was just everyday for him. Freddy Fazbear updooted a wholesome, Keanu Reeves meme and then opened up a decade old cheeto back before turning on his second monitor to open up Rick and Morty.

The ground shook as Freddy turned his swivel chair to face the epic and wholesome Big Chungus poster on his wall. "Thank you." Freddy smiled. "Everyone liked that."

Another earthquake ensued as Freddy turned back to face his computer screen. Freddy pressed play on his second monitor and ate from the cheeto bag as the Rick and Morty episode began.



Credited to RedditsOwnJester 

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