Freedom Gamers vs. Evil McDonald's
Once upon a time, the Freedom gamers were very hungry, so their newest recruit, Chicken Tender Man, made them some fried chicken. “This kinda reminds me of that time I went to Evil McDonald’s.”, Peter Griffin said. “Dude, that was like one week ago. Why are you already remembering that time? We all remember.” Said Pokey Gnome. When Chicken Tender Man heard about Evil McDonalds, he jumped up and generated a coupon. The coupon read “I have history with evil fast food restaurants. I think we should destroy them.” Peter then replied “I had a bad experience with Evil McDonalds once too, kinda like that time I went to Evil McDonalds. Let’s go get an epic victory royale on Evil McDonalds.” Teleportation Zombie and Pokey Gnome had no character motive but went along anyway.
Chicken Tender Man then realized the gang had no means of transportation. He remembered he had encountered Ghost Johnson, who owed him a favor. He asked Peter to call him on the telephone, since Gnome and Zombie were too immature to do so. 5 seconds later, Ghost Johnson bought the Freedom Gamers a fucking tank from the military, then they all drove to Evil McDonald’s. Peter drove and said “This is better than that time I drove a tank on Family Guy! I’m sure there was a cutaway at some point where I actually drove a tank!”
They crashed through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man and then came out with their AK-47s. Teleportation Zombie and Pokey Gnome teleported behind the cash register. Then, Zombie started speaking: “We’re gonna kill everyone in Evil McDonalds, nothing personnel kid”. Then the Freedom Gamers started shooting up the Evil McDonalds (don’t worry, all the innocents were treated for death at the hospital after the event, don’t shoot up a McDonalds pliz). Afterwards, Evil Ronald McDonald came out of his office. “What the fuck is going on here?” he said. Chicken Tender Man gave him a coupon that said “We’re ending Evil McDonalds, you will fucking die!”
Evil Ronald McDonald laughed, and activated his Evil Stand Power (yes, that is a fucking JoJo reference, I love comedy) Unhappy Meal 2. He then had a super deep anime voice, complete with an offensive accent. (You’ll have to use your imaaaaaginatiiiiooooon🌈) “You are pathetic, I will destroy you weaklings!” He used Unhappy Meal 2, who started stabbing Chicken Tender Man with sharpened fries. Chicken Tender Man retaliated with deep fried chicken wing tentacles coming from his back, another power he definitely didn’t make up just for a cool anime fight scene. He kept Unhappy Meal 2 busy, but Ronald himself also attacked. Ronald was about to attack Chicken Tender Man, but then Peter remembered the time he was shooting up Evil McDonalds with his AK-47, so he fucking blew Evil Ronald McDonalds brains out. While Peter and Chicken Tender Man were fighting, Zombie and Gnome just stole a bunch of money from the cash register and some Unhappy Meal toys.
After Peter saved his life, Chicken Tender Man looked at him. He gave him a coupon that said “Let’s end this, Peter-Sama.” Peter nodded and punched Unhappy Meal 2 in the face. Chicken Tender Man then used a Jeff The Killer (™) knife to stab Unhappy Meal 2 in the fucking gut until he bled out, mayonnaise pouring all over the floor. Chicken Tender Man wanted to play some epic music that matched the epic fight scene that just ended, but unfortunately, mayonnaise was not an instrument. Peter then said: “Remember the time I lit an Evil McDonald’s on fire with gas?” The two started to pour gasoline all over the Evil McDonald’s, making sure to coat it with plenty of fluid.
Peter used a match to light the fire. “Aren’t Pokey Gnome and Teleportation Zombie still inside?” Said Chicken Tender Man through a coupon. “Holy crap! I killed them!” Peter cried out and almost threw himself into the fire, only to find out Gnome and Zombie had teleported behind them with all the money they stole.
“Look at all this money!” Said Pokey Gnome. “Let’s go spend it on something useful!” Said Teleportation Zombie. The four spent all their money getting PNGs in Fire Emblem Heroes on the Nintendo Smartphone. That’s when a small piece of paper flew out of the burning Evil McDonalds. Peter picked it up and started reading. “The following document contains a list of subsidiaries of Satan Bananas:
Evil McDonalds
Evil KFC
Evil Burger King
Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza
All of these restaurants use our trademarked straight bananas to mind control the population.”
It’s all connected, Luigi…
To be continued
Credited to J3ffDaKilla69 and EvilLuigi.EXE
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