Freedom Gamers vs Satan Bananas Middle Management & Knuckles

After violently murdering all evil food mascots, the Freedom Gamers knew that if they wanted to end it, they would have to take it to the highest level. They had to destroy the corporation that owned all evil food restaurants, Satan Bananas. But they wanted to do something stupid first, so they went home instead.

They were watching Family Guy Video Essays (yes, those actually exist. I love content creation) on YouTube, sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends 2: Legendary Shadow Raid. They were also smoking some weed from The Dutch Government (once again, foreshadowing, ooooh) and eating Chicken Tender Man’s chicken (Does this count as cannibalism?).

But then, all of a sudden, they heard a loud thump at a wall and they all stood up as Wario fucking came (haha, like sex) through the wall using his signature shoulder bash, coming (haha, like sex) through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man. “Wahahahahaha. I am Wario. I am here to take you out in the name of Satan Bananas. Me and the other middle managers will fight you in a battle to the death. Imma gonna win!” Then three more figures walked through the hole in the wall. Waluigi, Knuckles the Echidna and Edward “The Edge" van Blood entered the room. Banana Johnson was taking a shit, so he was not in the room at this time.

After they entered the room, Pokey Gnome and the Teleportation Zombie immediately grabbed Wario and Waluigi and teleported out of there. This forced the middle managers to split up. This took Wario and Waluigi by surprise. After this, the teleportation zombie used his signature zombie kick move (that he definitely had before but just did not feel like performing) on Wario. This caused Wario to fall over. Wario then said “I’ve fallen and can’t get up!”

Pokey Gnome and Waluigi encircled each other, Waluigi charged at the gnome with a nasally battle cry, using his Waluigi Technique: Everybody Cheating But Me-style, 69th form. (I think I was going for a Demon Slayer reference there, I dunno. I’ve never watched it.) Pokey Gnome, however, used his gnome powers and said “You’ve been g-nomed!” and punched Waluigi in the nose using his Fist of the Gnome Star.

After being wounded, Wario and Waluigi tried to heal themselves by eating one of their tacos. But this left them open for a surprise attack. Pokey Gnome and Teleportation Zombie used their hidden move. “We will end you, middle managers, with our Poke of Friendship!” They then poked eachothers index fingers before poking Wario and Waluigi with them. This caused a large explosion, which made Wario and Waluigi fly off like Team Rocket.

In the meantime, Chicken Tender Man and Peter Griffin were fighting Knuckles and Edward. After their many years apart, Peter and Edward did not remember the time they knew each other. This was the first time Peter could not remember the time. Peter, however, knew he could not remember something, causing him to shed a single tear. Then they fought, but their fight was not really that impressive. It ended in a tie, which led Edward to escape.

Meanwhile, Chicken Tender Man & Knuckles were locked in combat, Knuckles using his mighty fists to keep Chicken Tender Man on the defensive. Knuckles got the upper hand by punching Chicken Tender Man in the cock. “How did you know my only weakness? We just met!” Said Chicken Tender Man. (Remember, he has the power of speech now.) “Actually, Chicken Tender Man… That’s not true. You see, I have been with you all for longer than you realize. I was there… ALL ALONG!” Knuckles revealed, and then Chicken Tender Man started remembering the time Knuckles was there all along, as if he was Peter Griffin.

(Here come four images to piss off the mods again, don't remove them pliz)

“What about Edward?” said Peter, despite him not being introduced to Edward and having no way of knowing his name. “Oh, he was just kinda there, I guess. He has no character motive aside from being edgy and liking fights.” Anyway, Chicken Tender Man and Knuckles traded many blows. However, Knuckles quickly got the upper hand with his experience in hand to hand combat. He forced Chicken Tender Man on his knees and said “This is the end for you. Do you have any final words?” Right when he said this, Banana Johnson was done shitting and looked at the room. “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE!? I WAS ONLY GONE FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES!” He then stabbed Knuckles from behind, killing him instantly. It turned out he was not rougher than the rest of them. He was tougher than leather, but that means very little when getting stabbed.

Pokey Gnome and Teleportation Zombie teleported back from their successful fight with Wario and Waluigi. They were about to celebrate, when suddenly Knuckles’ phone began to ring. Peter was about to make a “WHO WUZ PHONE” joke, but Chicken Tender Man slapped him in the face as Pokey Gnome and Teleportation Zombie picked up the phone. “Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier from Unholy Marketing. Have you finished The Freedom Gamers yet?”

Pokey Gnome and the others looked at each other, nodding as if it was an anime. They knew who their next target would be. “Actually, The Freedom Gamers finished YOUR men off, Markiplier. And in the next episode of our let’s play, we’re gonna finish YOU!!!” Said Pokey Gnome. “In other words: YOU’RE NEXT!” Said Teleportation Zombie. Markiplier then responded and said “I’m just an external marketing guy. I don’t make any evil decisions.” Then Pokey Gnome said “Fuck you, we’re killing you anyway.”

To be continued,

maybe (definitely)

< Previous        |        Next >

---

Credited to J3ffDaKilla69 and EvilLuigi.EXE 

Comments • 2

Loading comments...