Freedom Gamers vs Unholy Marketing (the filler episode)
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At the end of the previous story, the Freedom Gamers were accidentally contacted by the external marketing company “Unholy Marketing”. They performed marketing campaigns for Satan Bananas. Therefore, they had to be murdered.
Peter said: “Remembah da time J3ff and Luigi wrote about the Unholy Trinity?” “Actually, we don’t, but I guess they’re putting the Unholy Trinity in the Cinematic Universe now.” Said Pokey Gnome. Teleportation Zombie looked confused and said: “Who the fuck are J3ff and Luigi?” (so meta, I know). His question was not acknowledged or answered.
After this, they googled Unholy Marketing. They found out it was located in the filthy land of South-Korea. The Freedom Gamers had to leave their safe home of North-Korea to face them. Chicken Tender Man got the tank he got from Ghost Johnson (remember that?) and drove them all the way to South-Korea while blasting “RUNNING IN THE 90S” on repeat, because we love referencing anime for some reason. Add that to the list of running gags. (more meta posting, oooooo)
Anyway, after arriving in South-Korea, the Freedom Gamers went to the Unholy Marketing headquarters and blew it up with their fucking tank. Then three guys came (haha, like sex) out. It was Markiplier, Adachi from Persona 4 Golden and Giygas from Earthbound. Then, a screen transition happened. Afterwards, the crew was positioned as if they were in a turn-based battle in a JRPG. That’s because this was now a turn-based battle for no particular reason.
“Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and I am evil.” “I am also evil.” Said Giygas. “I don’t have a proper character motive, also cabbages.” Said Adachi. Then, electric guitar music started playing as the Freedom Gamers started to have seizures and their inner voices were telling them that now was the time to progress as characters and become plot relevant. Then, they all awakened to their TrollSonas. Since this is an Indie RPG now, we’re gonna keep their TrollSonas a mystery because we’re modern writers who like to be more cryptic than fucking Five Nights at Freddy’s. Also we hate capitalism, please buy our merch.
Now, Pokey Gnome had the first attack. He used “Poke Attack 2” on Adachi, who took 0 damage. Afterwards, Teleportation Zombie did the same. This also resulted in 0 damage. Then it was Adachi’s turn. He wanted to shoot them with his gun, but he instead tripped and broke his neck. This did 1.000.000.000 damage to Adachi. Next up was Giygas. He did abstract bullshit. Nobody was really sure what this did, honestly. Banana Johnson, who we definitely did not forget to add, used his “Banana Slamma” attack on Adachi, just to be a dick to him and make sure he is dead. Then, it was Chicken Tender Man’s turn. He threw some high-calorie chicken tenders at Giygas. This caused Giygas to explode. Afterwards, it was Markiplier's turn. He used his signature attack, called “overreaction”. He screamed really loud at basically nothing. This was not really funny or effective. Then, Peter attacked last, because his speed stat is low because he is fat. He just shot Markiplier with the AK-47 he still had from a few stories ago. (Pliz don’t shoot Markiplier with an AK-47, or any other gun)
Afterwards, the Freedom Gamers returned home to North-Korea. Now, there were no more departments stopping them from reaching the CEO of Satan Banana’s.
So, what was the point of this story? Idk, probably nothing. Our brains were already melting from the Pokemon Battle Royale we wrote like a minute ago.
Credited to J3ffDaKilla69 and EvilLuigi.EXE
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