Friends for Dinner
I never watched The Land Before Time™ as a kid, and I wish I never did. It all started during the 2020 pandemic of the COVID, I was bored, CBA to do schoolwork, all the same shit and at some point I heard about The Land Before Time™ I had heard about the series before, but I had no idea from where. I knew it was a show about baby dinosaurs who are friends but I knew literally nothing else. So I decided to do a deep dive, and suddenly I encounted a YTPer called JitteryDragon, who was removed from YouTube in 2012 due to a bullshit copyright claim. His videos were archived and I began watching them, I got to the episode, 'Ali Means Buisness' when I noticed something odd, it was a YouTube Poop so it was edited to hell, but it's easy to tell what is and is not edited. For context, Cera had proposed that comper pretends to chase and hunt his friends and be a "Vicious sharptooth" (That's what carnivores are called within the lore of the franchise in case you couldn't tell.) To which Chomper responded "It sounds kinda fun to me" JitteryDragon edited in the line 'did I say that out loud' to make him sound like a psychopath, which was nailed home by the expression Chomper makes after saying that line. Cera responds, 'Nobody will get hurt, we're all just going to be pretending' to which we cut back to chomper who says 'Then it looks like I'll be pretending to KILL!' obviously edited in for comedic effect, but I noticed something, I rewound the scene and heard the remnants of the word 'have'
That's when I thought, "Is chomper trying to say, 'it looks like I'll be pretending to have fun!" So I paused the video in front of godzilla destroying a city to the theme of 'friends for dinner' and looked up the transcript, but alas, it had not been uploaded to the Land Before Time™ wiki so I was left with but one choice, to find the full episode ON YOUTUBE, and it was easy, I watched the scene and Chomper indeed said he would be pretending to have something, but I was disappointed when he said, 'have friends for dinner' which transitioned into the song from the fifth movie, now slightly edited to be a bit more blatant about eating rhett, but clearly not really.
I was so disappointed I decided I would edit it so I could hear it myself, so I downloaded the episode and sentenced mixed the phrase 'It looks like i'll be pretending to have fun' when I first heard it I laughed to hard I fell out of my char. I went to play it again and that's when I noticed the transition was smooth, it wasn't edited, it was natural, I was stunned, the scene cut to Cera and the background music faded away, she was wearing a face pretending not to be scared as per her character arc, althoug she was clearly terrified. The scene cut back to chomper, his eyes were hyperrealistic™ and his teeth were also hyperrealistic™ he looked straight at the camera and said, 'you made a mistake' the scene turned to static and for a single frame an image popped up on screne, I rewineded back to see a real, baby dinosaur, mutualated and being eaten by a hyperrealistic bloody chomper, blood was covering the screne, chomper was looking at the camera, smiling with hyperrealistic bloody teeth. I continued playing and after 2.85 seconds of silence, the scene cut back to shots of everyone dead, littlefoot had his neck ripped out, cera, her horn broken off and shoved into her eye, petrie and ducky's heads were gone, spike was still alive because he can't die lol, and ruby had her entestines removed,, The scene cut to chomper. He said 'whay' 'what have i done' 'you did this' he jumped off saurus rock and fuckoing died. I called Don Bluth and he said, 'why the fuck are you calling me, you stupid child, I don't run this series anymoore' and he hung up, so I called universal and they told me to fuck off because the series had been on hiatus since 2016. When I next booted up my chomper chomper was looking at me smiling and he said you're next. he jumped through my compert screen and fucking killed me. I am a dead now and if you YTP The Land Before Time™ you will be next.
Also, I turned myself into a pickle.
Credited to magicdog2013
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