Futurama Lost Episode - Zoidberg is Dead

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IT'S JUST A JOKE, BRO!
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I love me some Futurama. From Simpsons creator Matt Groening, I've considered this his vastly superior show for a very long time as it has a lot more clever writing of comedy, character dynamics and aspects, sci-fi goodies that includes actual knowledge of real-life science (no I am not an atheist on Reddit, I am a good, swole individual whose job is trading stocks online) and many more. Fry, being an outcast of the late-20th century whose job is that of a wagie pizza delivery boy, is an individual who by accident freezes himself forward in time to the 31st century, and here we get to meet a main cast of other colorful characters such as Bender the selfish, alcoholic, but very lovable jerk of a robot whose great at everything, Leela the cyclops mutant that's hard at work and pilots around the ship, Dr. Zoidberg the crab-lobster creature surgeon whose very lonely, Amy Wong the Asian intern from Mars who happens to be ditsy, Hermes Conrad the Jamaican bureaucrat who is also a retired limbo Olympic athlete, and Professor Farmsworth the old coot who also happens to be the founder of a delivery service corporation that these aforementioned characters work at, Planet Express. However, there was a secret lost episode of Futurama that never aired on Fox, Comedy Central, Adult Swim, SyFy or Hulu (or BET), and nobody has ever heard of, but I am telling you right now. So much so, I found this "downloadable content" from my friend (which I will not reveal his name nor any other information), so please bare with me as this is my last ditch effort to stay afloat in this dying decaying piece of America.

The episode opens up in a very usual matter, showing the overhead view of the Planet Express in a sunny afternoon with a few hover cars flying around. The episode begins in the doctor's office with Zoidberg munching a lot of things as usual, but this is where it gets surreal (I mean, yes in a typical Futurama-fashion, but also in a weird way), as Zoidberg was snorting something white and powdery and he was looking too hyperactive. His eyes are noticeably bloodshot and he was wiggling around the place. Farnsworth walks in, but Zoidberg then pukes out the meat worms from his mouth before fainting. Farnsworth was calling for Zoidberg to get in the conference room to discuss the next Planet Express delivery, but with no response. Hermes walks in, both in utter shock and disappointment, and exclaims, "Zoidberg you rotten crab, what in Idris Elba are you doing lying down on the floor again!?! If you don't work, you don't get paid!" Admittedly, I thought it was funny, it gave me a pretty nice chuckle, but sadly the whole whimsical charm of 31st century humor ends as the episode gets worse from here.

The next scene is with Bender, Leela and Fry arriving back from their delivery. They land the Planet Express ship which happens to be a big bloated Jack Black. Oh, and not the usual gag where it's a head of either a real-life celebrity, politician, public figure or false idol is, but just Jack Black in a Groening-style caricature, and even wearing a blue T-shirt trying to act as if he's Steve from Minecraft (even voiced by himself). I paused the episode and tried to look up what this was a reference to, and it turns out that it's based on his portrayal in that Minecraft movie, and I've also found out that movie wasn't going to come out on April 2025, but instead it's coming out on 9/11! Even the poster of said movie had the block-looking planes hitting the blocky Twin Towers and another in a blocky Pentagon! I can't take this anymore, so I needed to calm myself down by turning off the computer and taking a warm bath while playing the entire Dark Side of the Moon album while watching Norbit on mute just to sync in with said Pink Floyd album. I came back and watched the rest of the episode and it got worse from here.

While the trio were delivering some one-off gag, the scene cuts back inside the Planet Express but with more muted colors. The camera slowly pans to Zoidberg laying his head down in depression. Also, Amy was seen with a bruised up face and a casket in her left hand, Hermes was looking down in his legs in disappointment and Farmsworth is seen lying on his floating chair as usual, but looks more dead than asleep. Zoidberg slowly walks to the counter and drags on for possibly 15 seconds with no sound effects. I know this because I still have the volume up on my laptop while watching this and there was actual sound in the episode, but just this part there was silence, as if it was trying to be more like the late-70s Russian art film Stalker, where things get more bizarre. He's seen at the sink washing his face, but still looking a little bit... disorganized. The sound came back once Amy began to speak saying, "Zoidberg, are you ok? You don't feel so good." Zoidberg tried to respond but he then breaks down crying. One of the running gags for Zoidberg was that his depression was due to loneliness and that he had no home to live other than dumpsters. However this episode does not explain as to why he's depressed, in fact he just is for the sake of being sad.

When Bender, Fry and Leela return back to the Planet Express, there was some animation error where Leela suddenly had two eyes, but not only that, her eyes were more bloodshot and she was looking jittery and nervous. She slowly walks to Zoidberg and asks him if everything is alright. Zoidberg then lectures, "I've been the company's scapegoat and martyr for far too long, and I've always hated it." During his speech, the camera pans into his face looking more hyper-realistic that it was, in fact, animated by Pixar (I know this because I checked that episode's credits and it's a surprise collab effort. I could even see something on the Planet Express TV that the crew were watching where a character that oddly resembles Lightning McQueen was spitting bars against Satan in some sort of rap battle that takes place in hell. ...seems familiar). "I've been such a fucking mess! A fucked-up mess!" Woah, he cursed in a kids' show?!? Futurama is a show for children, how is there so much fucking swearing? I know this because I am a 45-year-old individual who watches essay videos on how animation is "for adults" and turns around by liking modern animated crap for kids. The camera zooms deeper into his skull and the animation suddenly turned into AI. "If you need me, I'll be in the doctor's office. Y'know, just rummaging through the place." He crabs walk with the usual "whoop whoop whoop" but in a very depressing state, but the animation here looked cheap and unfinished, looking like some half-baked anime influenced show on Netflix based on an existing IP.

The animation suddenly switches back to normal once the rest of the crew were sitting down as if nothing happened, with Bender sarcastically commenting, "I feel bad for you, Zoidberg. Anyway...." The crew looked at him in irritating fashion noticing his sarcastic remark. Ok, that part also made me laugh to be honest. Only two good jokes in one episode? And then I realized something, this was a Hulu episode all this time, which explains why it's unfunny and boring, but it didn't need to be scary! Except it was, as the episode suddenly blacks out and switches to Fry having no eyes and smiling widely. The animation switches again to some bad animation that was done by some teenager on YouTube by the next scene, where Zoidberg just wrecks up the Planet Express doctor's office. Most of the supporting characters from Futurama appeared in the background floating for no reason while a techno version of "Hava Nagila" plays in the background. In the next scene, the animation goes back to normal, and the episode cannot make up its mind with quality, and he runs to the garbage dumpster while carrying a shotgun. He climbed up to see if he could cheer himself up with a rotting fish to eat, but by accident he pulled the trigger of his shotgun and shot himself. Hearing gunshots, the crew run to the dumpster only to reveal the horrors that happened to himself. Leela murmers, "Zoidberg is dead." The crew hold hands in a moment of silence before fading to the next scene.

By the next morning, we see the same funeral home in the episode where Fry gets stung by a bee, and the Planet Express crew, the citizens of Decapod 10; including both Ambassador Mervin and Harold Zoid; and the majority of minor and/or supporting characters mourning the loss of Zoidberg for the remainder of the episode. The episode slowly fades, then the text reads, "HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM FUTURAMA" in the show's usual text font, but this didn't seem like an actual Halloween episode! It wasn't even promoted by either networks that this was a special Halloween episode. I was furious, scared and confused that I had to rip that video file to my external drive. Luckily, I live close to the Hulu headquarters at the "heart" of the child diddlers and nepotism in Los Angeles. California needs to be flooded in a tsunami, by the way.

I scheduled an appointment with the executives over at Hulu as, at the time of writing this, they are still airing new episodes, and also have every Futurama episode on record. The next day, I would arrive there for my appointment, explaining the executives about the episode. At first, they thought I was insane and I was just "making up stories from a horse's ass;" their words, not mine; but then I showed them the episode from my external drive as one of the executives was kind enough to let him use it in his laptop as well. We were watching it together and were scared shitless. The executives, however, have no recollection as to how this got made, and that neither Groening and his Futurama cast and crew ever remembered working on the episode. I did tell them that this was not some stupid made-up fan project from a schizo, but at any event all of this was debunked. One of the executives still has the video file to this day and has vowed to never view it to the public nor tell anyone, especially the show's cast and crew, about this...

...except for me. I broke the mold. Anyway, the episode is currently in the hands of P Diddy who had already watched it in a prison cell along with his bud Jeff Epstein (of whom he met in his private island), the latter of which met Matt Groening.

Face it, Futurama is ruined!



Written by Good god
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